Too much pride and lack of forgiveness

I know it’s a new morning and a new morning is a new beginning. After reflecting on God’s word last night, I realized how unkind, unforgiving , prideful and greedy I have been lately. Not sure if it’s cause I’m not spending enough time with Jesus, a lack of obedience and too much sacrifice.

I listened to the story of Abimelech and I was like, “that is how I’ve been behaving!” (Where the people make me king, yet I am evil as heck, having victory to victory, a blood lust and greedy for power, until one day I’m at war and a random woman in a tower drops a millstone on my head)

Sometimes we got to be careful about our hearts. It’s good to spend time in God’s word, so he can soften your heart and you can be used be God. Our hearts can easily be hardened and it’s up to us to go to Jesus, so he can soften our hearts.

Be very in tune with your heart (speaking to myself) because it can negatively affect the entire community.

Proverbs 28 verse 26~ “He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool.” Ecclesiastes 7 verse 20~ “For there is not a just man upon the earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.” Matthew 7 verse 18~ “A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” Philippians 2 verse 13~ “For it is God which worketh in you, both to will and to do of His good pleasure.”

my heart is crazy wicked and even my subconscious mind. I find my being seduced by these jezebel spirits in my dreams and I can't resist, but even in my dream and know its wrong.

my heart is crazy wicked and even my subconscious mind. I find my being seduced by these jezebel spirits in my dreams and I can't resist, but even in my dream and know its wrong.

Not gonna lie, I had a dream last night that I randomly stumbled into an apartment in a really ghetto area and this Hispanic couple both wanted to have sex with me. I ended up participating with the woman but the guy kept coming up from behind me and I kept pushing him away.

I ended up fleeing to another “hood” on the other side of a park, where it seemed even more dangerous and I sneak into a more beaten down apartment and apparently there is a gang of all Hispanic guys and in there and they all want to g*ng b*ng me.

So I flee back to the other place I was originally at and basically get raped by this guy while I’m participating with this woman.

Not sure why I had a nightmare like that. Never had gay intercourse my entire life and never plan to.