Does the church ignore single Christians? Where are we supposed to go?!?

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quietlady53

quietlady53

Member
#41
May 30, 2022
13
28
13
#41
Elizabeth35 said:
I recently started going back to church (that's another story!) and I noticed that my church has a ton of groups and different ministries. They have groups for seniors, children, youth, young adults (18-30), young families, marriage events, Alpha, teaching groups, special needs kids, community outreach, etc. They have a lot and that's great! But there's one glaringly obvious group that's been left out. Singles over 30. It's as if we don't exist. And I'm not just talking about my church, all churches I've been to and have looked at attending in the past have absolutely diddly squat for singles.
I know we can join bible studies and such, but it's annoying when every other life stage has specific events and meetings for them but singles are forgotten.

What has been your experience with your church or previous churches and their attitude towards us "elderly" single people?

Second question. What are your thoughts on meeting a potential mate at church?
Personally, I believe as single Christians we're probably not going to be meeting our future spouse at a bar, so that's not really an option. And we all know online dating is pure torture. So where are single Christians supposed to meet each other?
Click to expand...
Statistics show that 30% of all people in the United States are single. The churches are missing a huge opportunity.
 
K

Karlon

Well-known member
#42
Mar 8, 2023
3,144
1,457
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#42
quietlady53 said:
Statistics show that 30% of all people in the United States are single. The churches are missing a huge opportunity.
Click to expand...
i heard a new report about 6 to 7 years ago that people between the ages of 20 & 30 are increasingly not getting married & not having kids. i think it's appropriate for the condition the country is in.
 
K

Kroogz

Well-known member
#43
Dec 5, 2023
1,757
849
113
#43
Elizabeth35 said:
I recently started going back to church (that's another story!) and I noticed that my church has a ton of groups and different ministries. They have groups for seniors, children, youth, young adults (18-30), young families, marriage events, Alpha, teaching groups, special needs kids, community outreach, etc. They have a lot and that's great! But there's one glaringly obvious group that's been left out. Singles over 30. It's as if we don't exist. And I'm not just talking about my church, all churches I've been to and have looked at attending in the past have absolutely diddly squat for singles.
I know we can join bible studies and such, but it's annoying when every other life stage has specific events and meetings for them but singles are forgotten.

What has been your experience with your church or previous churches and their attitude towards us "elderly" single people?

Second question. What are your thoughts on meeting a potential mate at church?
Personally, I believe as single Christians we're probably not going to be meeting our future spouse at a bar, so that's not really an option. And we all know online dating is pure torture. So where are single Christians supposed to meet each other?
Click to expand...
Where are you from? I went to a small community church when I was single. I mean small. Drummond MT. And I had every person there trying to "set me up for a wife!"

I met my wife from a coffee shop not far from Drummond. She had never been to that little church in Drummond.

The Church is not a dating service. If we have our right woman or right man waiting for us.......God will do it ANYWHERE.
 
S

Suze

Active member
#44
Mar 14, 2025
334
195
43
#44
Karlon said:
i heard a new report about 6 to 7 years ago that people between the ages of 20 & 30 are increasingly not getting married & not having kids. i think it's appropriate for the condition the country is in.
Click to expand...
Hey ! Don't leave the rest of the world out of this ! We r all just as bad as u guys ! 😜 .
 
S

Suze

Active member
#45
Mar 14, 2025
334
195
43
#45
Kroogz said:
Where are you from? I went to a small community church when I was single. I mean small. Drummond MT. And I had every person there trying to "set me up for a wife!"

I met my wife from a coffee shop not far from Drummond. She had never been to that little church in Drummond.

The Church is not a dating service. If we have our right woman or right man waiting for us.......God will do it ANYWHERE.
Click to expand...
Personally I think it's all about timing and God's timing is perfect . I have in the past , wished that my husband and I had met each other when we were very young and got together then and stayed together . As it was our lives were very closely intertwined for years before we actually met and we didn't know it . We both had a few relationships before we met and in those other relationships we grew and learnt things . Things about ourselves and relationships in general so , by the time we actually met each other we were grown adults that had a good idea what we were looking for in a partner . Now I know that if we had met each other when we were teenagers we would not have stayed together . He was slightly bonkers and a bit scarry and I was extremely timid and shy . We r both reasonably sane now 😜 God's timing is PERFECT . Wait on the Lord .
 
S

Suze

Active member
#47
Mar 14, 2025
334
195
43
#47
Kroogz said:
Where are you from? I went to a small community church when I was single. I mean small. Drummond MT. And I had every person there trying to "set me up for a wife!"

I met my wife from a coffee shop not far from Drummond. She had never been to that little church in Drummond.

The Church is not a dating service. If we have our right woman or right man waiting for us.......God will do it ANYWHERE.
Click to expand...
Personally I think it's all about timing and God's timing is perfect . I have in the past , wished that my husband and I had met each other when we were very young and got together then and stayed together . As it was our lives were very closely intertwined for years before we actually met and we didn't know it . We both had a few relationships before we met and in those other relationships we grew and learnt things . Things about ourselves and relationships in general so , by the time we actually met each other we were grown adults that had a good idea what we were looking for in a partner . Now I know that if we had met each other when we were teenagers we would not have stayed together . He was slightly bonkers and a bit scarry and I was extremely timid and shy . We r both reasonably sane now 😜 God's timing is PERFECT . Wait on the Lord .
Karlon said:
what kind of bad?
Click to expand...
....the condition the country is in .....I guessed u didn't mean good , was I wrong ? Sorry if I misunderstood u .
 
HealthAndHappiness

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
#49
Jul 7, 2022
11,586
5,043
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#49
Elizabeth35 said:
I recently started going back to church (that's another story!) and I noticed that my church has a ton of groups and different ministries. They have groups for seniors, children, youth, young adults (18-30), young families, marriage events, Alpha, teaching groups, special needs kids, community outreach, etc. They have a lot and that's great! But there's one glaringly obvious group that's been left out. Singles over 30. It's as if we don't exist. And I'm not just talking about my church, all churches I've been to and have looked at attending in the past have absolutely diddly squat for singles.
I know we can join bible studies and such, but it's annoying when every other life stage has specific events and meetings for them but singles are forgotten.

What has been your experience with your church or previous churches and their attitude towards us "elderly" single people?

Second question. What are your thoughts on meeting a potential mate at church?
Personally, I believe as single Christians we're probably not going to be meeting our future spouse at a bar, so that's not really an option. And we all know online dating is pure torture. So where are single Christians supposed to meet each other?
Click to expand...

There's definitely a bit of a negetive cultural bias towards singles.

For instance, In college I led the College and Career ministry of a 200 member Baptist Church. At WVU was president of the one conservative Christian ministry on campus at the time. It was open to all believers so I saw, heard and experienced many perspectives from students and pastors.
Since then, one of my ministries was the largest of it's demographic in WV.
It was a ministry for singles who wanted to serve the Lord.
The common complaint I heard were the issues that you bring up.

As to your "Second question. What are your thoughts on meeting a potential mate at church?"

I think that some are like myself.
I am not impulsive and I try to look long term; Not the lust of the flesh, 'let's elope and get hitched next week' attitude.

Just trying to get aquatinted can be a challenge. Many try to dissuade competition for potential mates by making up Unbiblical "virtues" and taboos.

I can make a list, but will keep this post brief.
How can two walk together unless they be agreed?
I have noticed that the prospects within an independent Baptist church are slim.
Why?
As soon as the young ladies graduate high school, they are sent off to a Bible college to get a MRS Degree.
That leaves single guys looking other places.
Later, there are other complications.

I spoke to a pastor of church of like doctrine from an hour drive away.
I asked about the acceptance of single members. All he would say to that is "We are a family integrated church."
 
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