Dark Attractions

I keep my sanity by not thinking about the darkness inside me.

I took a test, I came out Empath (90%+). XD

What is painful tho is it feels like sometimes its a calling that means I should just become a Priest, because none of Good Christians Women are interested. They usually already have a nice guy they have chosen.

Hi Sir..... yeah the 90% empath thing doesn't surprise me at all. Please don't take this as weird, but I had you pegged as a high-level empath by like the third post I saw after you joined. Dark girls always pick up on gifts like that, I think it's because a lack of empathy is often what pushes them to darkness in the first place. 🤔

I think the reality is that most dark girls are drawn to spirituality, but Satan's "rules" seem so much easier to follow (only on the surface of course...he always leads to destruction). But the girls see it as more do-able to be a good Wiccan than a good Christian. So they go for the dark side. But when they meet you they see the true spirituality they are lacking and needing..... PLUS wrapped up in an empathetic package that doesn't see everything in black and white, but understands that people and backgrounds and situations are all different. That is ABSURDLY RARE in the church. So. When they meet you they feel like they've found a missing puzzle piece. However.....

That's only a good thing for you if they are ACTUALLY willing to change/grow/listen/learn/come to Jesus. As you have noted, more often than not they just try to drag you down to their level. Not good.

I gotta ask.... is there something about these girls that draws you as well? If so, there's no shame in that at all.... just think about what it is. Dark girls definitely have their good points, and when they are mature Christians they make a very unique member of the Body of Christ. Usually off-the-charts for discernment, insight, spiritual warfare, etc..... they can handle stuff that might send your average good little church girl running for the nearest potluck to calm her rattled nerves with under-seasoned pasta salad. But dark girls thrive on the broken, bizarre, confusing, emotionally whack aspects of life and they're not afraid to confront it head-on. We LIVE for that stuff.

Anyways.... I'm not trying to brag on dark girls, we're not better or more important than anyone else. I'm just saying that if they are drawn to you, and IF you are drawn to them as well.... then maybe it wouldn't be a bad fit IF the girl in question has already healed a good bit and is truly saved and well on her way to sanctification. But I think that would be the key... knowing that she is willing to grow purely for the prize of Christ, rather than the prize of you.

One way to test that is to see how she responds when you tell her things she doesn't want to hear. If she respects you and is willing to grow then she will listen. If not then she will get angry. Also see how she responds if you are vulnerable or having a rough day. If the support is one-sided then she's just using you. If most of your interactions leave you feeling drained, then 👎.

Regardless, please be very careful. Emotionally broken guys tend to go for me. They also tend towards stalking behavior. I am EXTREMELY careful about getting even platonically involved with a guy who isn't emotionally healthy. Yet, I'm inexplicably drawn to the broken-ness. God kinda fixed that by putting me in youth ministry. Now I can help people sort through emotional crap without worries about romantic entanglement. Perhaps He has a similar calling for you, maybe not with kids but maybe counseling or substance-abuse recovery, etc? Just thoughts.... what you have is a very rare and special gift, I will pray that God shows you how He wants to use it! 🙏

Indeed, even more bizarre is the now Christian Witches (Christian Witchcraft actually dates back to Middle Ages) which is strange blending of the two.. we know it doesn't work, "You cannot serve two masters," "the lukewarm I spew out of my mouth," (Revelation 3:16), and actually the Nicolaitians that Jesus hates in Revelation believed they could use Satan for power and wealth, and have the Gospel of Jesus and eternal life; I have known two people like this, one online and on IRL. It is bizarre to me.

If I am honest, the girls with the white wings of sainthood make my skin crawl.. I know I should be looking for a Mary Magadalene or Lyda, but I find church gals and those in religion to be very unattractive, as in they seem too "not of this world," to even make me interested, like, "okie, Jesus is your husband.. no room for me." I am not sure that is fair, but with the dark gals what draws me is that I can allow my darker side show, I do not have to pretend, put on airs, they tolerate my light, Jesus talk, and yet I do not have to act like a Monk who is somehow suppose to ignore the beauty of woman.. I am frustrated in Protestantism how Purity Culture turns women into seraphs, untouchable angels, when you see the Art of Roman Church, and the beauty of women is seen in the Venus de Milo, and so forth; I am not emphasizing simply that they are naked in those art pieces, rather that there is no shame in the female form, while Protestant art tends to regulate women to Burkas and veils that makes you think they are in Saudi Arabia. But its not just physicality, Dark Gals have an energy, a zest, and fire to them.. a spark, and a soul that yes probably carries trauma, but if we are honest who doesn't? The Angelos Church Girls pretend to not have trauma, they hide it behind masks of denial, burying it and saying it was "buried with Jesus." That is not how trauma works.. Jesus himself has the wounds in His hands and feet, and side from a traumatizing death...

I know I should probably ask like David, "create a clean heart in me O God, and renew a right spirit in me," so that I will be attracted to the Doves and not the Bats, but honestly my ideal scenario would be a Christian Goth Gal haha. A Lady who loves the Lord, but is alright with not pretending and allows us to put some of rad the Gothic stuff up in the house, I mean Goth comes from Gothic, which yes goes back to the Visigoths, but more aptly Gothic Churches, which I love. There was this Gothic Cathedral in Germany I visited, I loved it so much, praying in there, I got a painting from a local artist of it.

I feel like Song by RED, "Fight Inside," and "Shadows," from their Second Album, Innocence and Instinct. That two natures war inside me. I love and yearn for our Lord, I was reading my Bible today and could feel the traces of His Spirit in those words he spoke in Leviticus. And yet the idea of always being at Church and only watching Pureflix makes me want to vomit.. I would rather watch Alien Earth (2025, Summer) and listen to Gregorian Chant and watch theologians talk on EWTN (I am not Catholic, but I do like they discuss real deep stuff, most Protestant shows are get saved or donate to my ministry telethons).

Its funny you mention counseling, I have a degree in Christian Counseling for Children and Teens. I just have not got plugged into using it really. I went to Seminary, and could finish that online, I probably should. It is just hard because Churches in America try to project a look of perfection and sainthood, when its a hospital for the wounded and downtrodden. I just have no love for pretending and acting like everything is fine, I often have to tell the Power of Positivity Thinking Brothers and Sisters, St. Paul says, "rejoice with those who rejoice, mourn with those who mourn." (Romans 12:15).