I am 21 years old, but every decision I have made in my life has been without guidance from someone older and more experienced. Looking back now, I feel that many of those decisions were foolish, and they have brought me to a point where I feel hopeless about my future.
Right now, I feel ashamed, guilty, useless, and insecure. I worry that I will never be able to get a decent job and that I will continue to burden my parents again and again. At a time when I should be taking care of them as they enter their sixties, the opposite is happening. I still cannot give them the comfortable and enjoyable life they deserve after all the hardships they have endured throughout their lives.
I feel so guilty that I sometimes think about ending my life. The poor decisions I made regarding my education weigh heavily on me. There are moments when I want everything to end, as if I convince myself that after death my soul would simply disappear and cease to exist.
Yet I am a Christian. Although I am not always faithful or obedient in my faith, I do believe in Christ. That is why I am confused about how I can think about death and imagine my soul disappearing when I also believe in heaven and hell.
Right now, I feel ashamed, guilty, useless, and insecure. I worry that I will never be able to get a decent job and that I will continue to burden my parents again and again. At a time when I should be taking care of them as they enter their sixties, the opposite is happening. I still cannot give them the comfortable and enjoyable life they deserve after all the hardships they have endured throughout their lives.
I feel so guilty that I sometimes think about ending my life. The poor decisions I made regarding my education weigh heavily on me. There are moments when I want everything to end, as if I convince myself that after death my soul would simply disappear and cease to exist.
Yet I am a Christian. Although I am not always faithful or obedient in my faith, I do believe in Christ. That is why I am confused about how I can think about death and imagine my soul disappearing when I also believe in heaven and hell.
U will never stop making mistakes , we r human and subject to our emotions and our environments , both of which r totally unpredictable . Wait until u r in your late 50's ! By then u will have a mountain of regrets ! Seriously , u r far too young to b hopeless . U have your youth , health , brains and , your God . U can do anything u want to if , u get on the right path . Start to read your Bible every single day , even if it's only one chapter but , read more than that if u can . Say your prayers every day and thank God for all the good things in your life because u only have them because of His lovingkindness towards u . Build a relationship with Him and learn to trust in His guidance and love for u . Talk to Him honestly and openly , He is your Heavenly Father . He knows u better than u know u so don't try to conceal anything from Him because He sees straight through u . 
