Autitics and church

I have 2 autistic kids and I was just thinking about this subject this morning.
I don't have much to say about it right now though other than that.

timemeddler said:

Ive spentvenough time in denial, no sense pretending its not an ossue. I have what used to be called aspbergers, a mild form of autism. I thought id post this here so others, hopefully also dealing with problem can have input. Church on a lot of ways is a rough place for autism. The worst part for me is the mingling part. So iakizong for a lot of autistics is really dufficult, its worse in large close in situations. Hiding somewhere to take a break from it gets read by otheres as deviant supect behavior. We often dont follow or even recognize social culutural norms that also get viewed as deviant or inappropriate. Music is often overpowering and can cuase sensory overload(i suspect im more resistant to thay problem than others.)

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From a pastoral viewpoint I think that open communication is a key. Likely if people know better what to expect that will temper their responses to better understand.

Chester said:

From a pastoral viewpoint I think that open communication is a key. Likely if people know better what to expect that will temper their responses to better understand.

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How much people share about such things should be an individual decision. Some people don't want everyone to know about things such as this. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be shared with leadership, but only if they'll keep it confidential if requested. Unfortunately too many people in church these days judge others who don't experience God in the same way as they do.

timemeddler said:

Communicating things is also really hard for a lot of u. Especially about a topic we. Tend to be sensitive about.

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I understand that communicating about a personal problem is difficult, particularly for somebody with Asperger's Syndrome or autism. However, unless other people know that you have a problem with mingling, how can they understand that you are not being antisocial or "deviant", to use the word you used?

timemeddler said:

Bit more complicated that, even if everyone knew, it doesnt necessarily put the individual at ease. (More like giving them a get out of jail free card)For me i was finding hiding places to avoid sensory/social overloads. My parent christmas parties where everone knows are now impossible after my brother added five kids. Secondly theres a lot of negative stereotypes and myths about autism. Its a bit of risk telling people, especially when youre at a new church and dont really know anyone.

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Yes, I realise that there is much ignorance. At least if people know your problems, that will dispel some of the ignorance.

timemeddler said:

Ive spentvenough time in denial, no sense pretending its not an ossue. I have what used to be called aspbergers, a mild form of autism. I thought id post this here so others, hopefully also dealing with problem can have input. Church on a lot of ways is a rough place for autism. The worst part for me is the mingling part. So iakizong for a lot of autistics is really dufficult, its worse in large close in situations. Hiding somewhere to take a break from it gets read by otheres as deviant supect behavior. We often dont follow or even recognize social culutural norms that also get viewed as deviant or inappropriate. Music is often overpowering and can cuase sensory overload(i suspect im more resistant to thay problem than others.)

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My heart goes out to you.
I lost much of my hearing from loud contemporary music at church. Every day 24/7 my ears ring, so I suggest protecting your hearing with ear plugs, not going into the auditorium during the music, or finding a traditional Bible believing church with a normal piano, etc.
I wish I did that sooner, but I didn't expect that one exposure to the blaring rock music would harm my hearing for the rest of my life.

I understand some of the challenges that many have from working with autistic adults and from a famous lady Temple Grandin. There's a movie based on a biography about her you might be interested in watching. She also wrote books and was a guest speaker on a lot of YouTube channels.

I'm not normal. I'm "exceptionally different."

I watched the Temple Grandin movie like 3 times, cried every single time; not so much for pity, but because of how awesome her life turned out to be. Many years later, I had a grandson born with Autism. The little guy didn't talk until he was 2-1/2 years old. I remember where I was when I first heard him call me "Papa"! But, when he finally did begin speaking, we discovered that he was already READING. He had been watching shows on TV and taught himself. And it wasn't words like Bob, Sam or Spot. It was words like "hippopotamus". Today he's 11, still fascinated with words and books, and now into memorizing book titles, publishers and dates. As to church, he does experience sensory overloads, but he likes to go to "children's church" and he's the only one in the congregation who blurts out "AMEN!".

Shepherd said:

I watched the Temple Grandin movie like 3 times, cried every single time; not so much for pity, but because of how awesome her life turned out to be. Many years later, I had a grandson born with Autism. The little guy didn't talk until he was 2-1/2 years old. I remember where I was when I first heard him call me "Papa"! But, when he finally did begin speaking, we discovered that he was already READING. He had been watching shows on TV and taught himself. And it wasn't words like Bob, Sam or Spot. It was words like "hippopotamus". Today he's 11, still fascinated with words and books, and now into memorizing book titles, publishers and dates. As to church, he does experience sensory overloads, but he likes to go to "children's church" and he's the only one in the congregation who blurts out "AMEN!".

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That's so precious!
That's such a blessing that he enjoys church, learning new things and time with Papa.
A lot of preachers would love to have someone shout Amen.

I'm someone with the so-called aspergers syndrome. I don't get sensory overload problems. I lost some of my hearing from being close to a running Ditch Witch all day, during a job installing irrigation I had for a while. I haven't loathed crowds or noisy groups of people since my very young days.
My mind has always worked very similar to the way @Shepherd describes it. I've always seemed to know and understand things my own parents would be counfounded to discover I actually knew of and understood about.
I think a key spiritual way to put the difference between people who aren't and are autistic, are those who're concered with what's working, and those who are concerned with why things work the way they do.

Ceph said:

I think a key spiritual way to put the difference between people who aren't and are autistic, are those who're concered with what's working, and those who are concerned with why things work the way they do.

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Maybe not like that.
Maybe a better way to put it is;
Those who come from their world within (autistics) vs. those who are made by the world around them.

This short pdf booklet "Aspergers - An Intentional Life" might be of interest.

timemeddler said:

Ive spentvenough time in denial, no sense pretending its not an ossue. I have what used to be called aspbergers, a mild form of autism. I thought id post this here so others, hopefully also dealing with problem can have input. Church on a lot of ways is a rough place for autism. The worst part for me is the mingling part. So iakizong for a lot of autistics is really dufficult, its worse in large close in situations. Hiding somewhere to take a break from it gets read by otheres as deviant supect behavior. We often dont follow or even recognize social culutural norms that also get viewed as deviant or inappropriate. Music is often overpowering and can cuase sensory overload(i suspect im more resistant to thay problem than others.)

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I want to start off by saying it's not my intention to downplay what you struggle with (because I have no idea), but it honestly sounds like you need to find a church that is right for you. Lot's of people have different reasons why they struggle with church in general (so I'm basing my answer mostly off of an answer I would tell anyone). So if you're in a church where you feel like you're being judged as a deviant or inappropriate, I think you need to change your church. I know that's easier said than done, but God knows the best place for you and honestly, consistent prayer in that category that He draws you to where you need to be is the best solution for this instead of the daunting task of going to a bunch that don't fit.

There was a son of a woman that is a regular at the church that I go to that has autism. I think he's currently in his 30's. He would get up, go into the hallway, come back, and sometimes shout out answers that were rhetorical during service. Not a single person in my congregation treated him anyway other than with love. He now is in a full time care facility due to his mothers age, but my point is that church is supposed to be like family. It's not meant to be a bunch of single people sitting in a building for an hour 1 day a week and then go home. Love, kindness and understanding should be at the core of every church.

I'm sorry that you're struggling but I pray that God guides you to a place where you can worship Him and not have to worry about the people around you when you have to make decisions based on what you're struggling with.