No eternal 'pre-election' between Jacob and Esau personally.

The LORD's prophecy was not about enternal election, but only about one serving the others. Nor was the prophecy about Jacob and Esau personally, but only for their national heritage.

Gen 25:23
And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.

The argument is over from the beginning: The context of the prophecy is of service on earth, not of eternal election. And it's only for the national people of Jacob and Esau, not for personally for themselves. And are not personally mentioned by name.

If the LORD spoke of Esau and Jacob personally, then the LORD's prophecy is made false, because it fails to come to pass in their own lives: Esau never served Jacob, but rather it's jacob that submitted himself to Esau and fled from him.

Gen 32:3
And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother unto the land of Seir, the country of Edom. And he commanded them, saying, Thus shall ye speak unto my lord Esau; Thy servant Jacob saith thus, I have sojourned with Laban, and stayed there until now:

Gen 35:1
And God said unto Jacob, Arise, go up to Bethel, and dwell there: and make there an altar unto God, that appeared unto thee when thou fleddest from the face of Esau thy brother.

Heb 11:20
By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau concerning things to come.

Both Esau and Jacob were blessed of Isaac, and Esau was by far the stonger in their days.

Gen 36:8
Thus dwelt Esau in mount Seir: Esau is Edom.

2Sa 8:14
And he put garrisons in Edom; throughout all Edom put he garrisons, and all they of Edom became David's servants. And the LORD preserved David whithersoever he went.

Here we see the fulfillment of the prophecy, that Esau's nation did serve Jacob's nation by David's subjection of Edom.

Mal 1:2
I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.

Once again, we see the LORD loving to bless Jacob's heritage, and hating to curse Esau's. It has nothing to do with the LORD's prophecy of them personally in the womb, but only of their two national descendants.

Deu 32:9
For the LORD'S portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance.

Deu 33:4
Moses commanded us a law, even the inheritance of the congregation of Jacob...They shall teach Jacob thy judgments, and Israel thy law: they shall put incense before thee, and whole burnt sacrifice upon thine altar.

Jer 49:10
But I have made Esau bare, I have uncovered his secret places, and he shall not be able to hide himself: his seed is spoiled, and his brethren, and his neighbours, and he is not.

Oba 1:6
How are the things of Esau searched out! how are his hidden things sought up!

In Scripture, the name of the progentitor is used to represent the whole progeny. So that Mal 1 is saying, Israel I loved, and Edom I hated. For Jacob is named for the nation of Israel, and Esau is Edom.

Mal 1:2
I have loved you, saith the LORD. Yet ye say, Wherein hast thou loved us? Was not Esau Jacob's brother? saith the LORD: yet I loved Jacob, And I hated Esau, and laid his mountains and his heritage waste for the dragons of the wilderness.

Num 24:18
And Edom shall be a possession, Seir also shall be a possession for his enemies; and Israel shall do valiantly.

While the prophecy of the elder serving the younger was fulfilled by David, the LORD's judgment of hated cursing was not pronounced, until later when He had smitten Edom entirely.

The reason for the LORD's great anger against Esau was not his birth, nor his life, but once again for His nation Edom's hatred of Jacob's nation Israel:

Num 20:14
And Moses sent messengers from Kadesh unto the king of Edom, Thus saith thy brother Israel, Thou knowest all the travail that hath befallen us:...And Edom said unto him, Thou shalt not pass by me, lest I come out against thee with the sword....And he said, Thou shalt not go through. And Edom came out against him with much people, and with a strong hand.

Thus Edom refused to give Israel passage through his border: wherefore Israel turned away from him.

Psa 137:7
Remember, O LORD, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem; who said, Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.

Jer 49:17
Also Edom shall be a desolation: every one that goeth by it shall be astonished, and shall hiss at all the plagues thereof.

The only son of Abraham prophesied to be by promise of election, was Isaac over Ishmael, not Jacob over Esau:

Rom 9:9
For this is the word of promise, At this time will I come, and Sara shall have a son. And not only this; but when Rebecca also had conceived by one, even by our father Isaac;

Once again, it's manifest that the LORD was not prophecying the promise of election for Jacob by Isaac, because Jacob recieved the blessing from his father by trickery, not by promised birth as did Isaac.

Gal 4:28
Now we, brethren, as Isaac was, are the children of promise.

We are the children of promise as Isaac was, not as Jacob. If jacob recieved the same promise of election by birth, then we also would be the children of promise as Jacob, and not as Isaac was only.

Not until Christ reveals the election by newbirth of the Spirit, is the old prophecy of Esau and Jacob figured in as a form of election, but not the election of grace in the womb.

Rom 9:10
(For the children being not yet born, neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger. As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.

It's manifest that the election is not to those two children, Jacob and Esau, and so the children yet born is not the subject of election.
Rather, it's being without works of good or evil, that is the subject of election by grace: neither having done any good or evil, that the purpose of God according to election might stand, not of works, but of him that calleth;

Like all children in the womb yet born, even as those two children, we that believe as Abraham are newborn babes in Christ Jesus, as having done neither good nor evil works: The election of grace is without past good or evil works, having all our old sins and trespasses washed away by the Spirit of grace:

2Co 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ,

Psa 103:10
He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

Eze 33:14
Again, when I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; if he turn from his sin, and do that which is lawful and right; If the wicked restore the pledge, give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live, he shall not die.

None of his sins that he hath committed shall be mentioned unto him: he hath done that which is lawful and right; he shall surely live.

And also, even as the elder would serve the younger after birth, It was said unto her, The elder shall serve the younger...,so also serves as a figure of the old man of sin subjected to ourselves by the new man of the Spirit, so that the younger serves not the flesh as the elder, but only the Spirit of promise.

Eph 4:22
That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; ...And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

And finally, as with the heritage of Jacob and Esau, As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated..., so also is a figure of us the sons of Abraham by faith, whom the Lord God loves to bless, and hated to curse when we were yet in our sins:

Rom 1:7
To all that be in Rome, beloved of God, called to be saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Heb 12:14
Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;

Heb 12:16
Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.

2Th 2:13
But we are bound to give thanks alway to God for you, brethren beloved of the Lord, because God hath from the beginning chosen you to salvation through sanctification of the Spirit and belief of the truth:

The beginning of God's election is salvation, sanctification, and newbirth of the Spirit, which election is promised to all that believe in the word of promise, as also to Abraham for Isaac:

Gal 3:7
Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham.

Gal 3:26
For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.

Who are newborn elect, as was Isaac from Abraham in old age, not chosen from the womb; And yet as having done neither good nor evil before election by grace.