Boundaries

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
CarriePie said:
In my experience these people don't like accepting that 'everyone is different', they want you to fit into their mold/idea of what a decent person looks and acts like. There something they can do with their ideas though 😬😇
Click to expand...
Always get told, act your age, not your shoe size. But in some countries, my shoe size is 38!
 
Lanolin said:
Always get told, act your age, not your shoe size. But in some countries, my shoe size is 38!
Click to expand...
Apparently I act old and look old lol.

I've always been told I act old. Even when I was in grade school. I moved one summer and started a new school the next school year. This was 5th grade. All that year one of the popular girls would give me disgusted looks. One of her friends asked her why and I overheard her say, "Because, she's soooo old. It's like she's in her 40s." 🤣

Fast forward to my current time of life, I was out for a walk when a school bus went by. A girl hollered from a window of the bus, "Hey grandma! Heyyyyyyy grandma!!!! Heyyyyyyyy!!!!!" 😅👵
 
  • Heart
Reactions: seoulsearch
Lanolin said:
oh its very common.
I have been scolded a lot, I could make a long list of scolds my big sister and mum always use.
Click to expand...
scolded isn't so bad. but were you beaten like we were? going for a Bible study now. ttyl.
 
Not sure how you were beaten, but mum did use a bamboo switch/cane on me. And I was hit once by my dad, or slapped I don't really remember what it was for.

Otherwise I was yelled at a lot, but making me go deaf didn't help me listen just as telling me to hurry up doesn't actually make me any faster.
 
The oldest that I ever felt was when I was 16. When we got off the bus at school, one of the second graders ask me how old I was. I told him I was 16. He replied, "you're really old".
 
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: Karlon and seoulsearch
Lanolin said:
Not sure how you were beaten, but mum did use a bamboo switch/cane on me. And I was hit once by my dad, or slapped I don't really remember what it was for.

Otherwise I was yelled at a lot, but making me go deaf didn't help me listen just as telling me to hurry up doesn't actually make me any faster.
Click to expand...
we were beaten physically, spiritually & mentally & often. slapped, pushed & beaten with a belt. my mother was sorry she bore us. she was very selfish & dominating. but then again, she was italian.
 
  • Pray
  • Sad
Reactions: dkontner and seoulsearch
Karlon said:
we were beaten physically, spiritually & mentally & often. slapped, pushed & beaten with a belt. my mother was sorry she bore us. she was very selfish & dominating. but then again, she was italian.
Click to expand...
Everyone thinks their parents are the worst
Immigrant parents often harsher because life is harder to establish in a different country to where you grew up and have to start from scratch.

Not everyone here is to the manor born, or grew up in a Christian household, but even then in some Christian households the children still get beaten. It was said if you spare the rod, you spoil the child -- though I think it was meaning the rod as in ruler or guide (like a shepherd's crook, or the rod Moses had)

But then there's also the verse about beating a child and they won't die. That's OT though. Jesus said in NT to let the children come to him and forbid them not (so they can be blessed) and that they are the ones to inherit the kingdom of God. So I think people forget that part and how Jesus took the punishment for all the sins of mankind when he got flogged and crucified. So we can be forgiven.

Anyway, as Christians what we most want is for others to experience God's love, not His wrath.
 
Lanolin said:
Everyone thinks their parents are the worst
Immigrant parents often harsher because life is harder to establish in a different country to where you grew up and have to start from scratch.

Not everyone here is to the manor born, or grew up in a Christian household, but even then in some Christian households the children still get beaten. It was said if you spare the rod, you spoil the child -- though I think it was meaning the rod as in ruler or guide (like a shepherd's crook, or the rod Moses had)

But then there's also the verse about beating a child and they won't die. That's OT though. Jesus said in NT to let the children come to him and forbid them not (so they can be blessed) and that they are the ones to inherit the kingdom of God. So I think people forget that part and how Jesus took the punishment for all the sins of mankind when he got flogged and crucified. So we can be forgiven.

Anyway, as Christians what we most want is for others to experience God's love, not His wrath.
Click to expand...
as to your 1st line, our situation was horrific. massively injurious. the whole city knew we got beat up. yes, our parents were the worst! no doubt! what i never imagined is the when i became born again 93, that it would be easy to forgive them. that was the 1st work God performed on me. i didn't even have to try, it was suddenly there by the grace of God. a time later, going for a drum rehearsal.
 
  • Pray
Reactions: seoulsearch
Some helpful notes from my boundaries topic discussion -- practical things you can do

A Simple Framework for setting a boundary

Setting a boundary doesn't require anger or confrontation. The most effective boundaries are clear, kind and calm.

*Acknowledge/Validate (optional): Direct, respectful context
*State the Limit: Clear, non-negotiable statement without over-explaining.
*Offer an Alternative (if appropriate) What you are willing to do

Example
"I hear how important this project is (Validate) but I can't take on extra tasks this week without sacrficing my current deliverables (State Limit). I can revisit this next Tuesday if it's still needed (Alternative)
 
I don't know anyone who talks like this "Current deliverables" ???
But I suppose it's business speak.

I wanna know how not to be bulldozed into paying for EVERYONE'S meals/getting the tab when I didn't ask to go out and was actually invited by someone who offered to pay. Esp if there's only meant to be one bill per table. My brothers actually did this to me and insisted I pay for 6 peoples meals when I didn't have enough money. And it wasn't my idea to go or organise the meal/lunch out.

Oh yea not everyone has an unlimited credit card. I'm wondering if next time I get invited to a fancy lunch/eat out I just have either the cheapest thing on the menu, or just a drink, or maybe not go at all to save the shame of having not enough money to cover everyone else's meals.
Othewise there's just a long line (Oh I had the chops and the ginger beer and the salad)
 
Its ok I sorted out with one sibling but the other I can't really talk to without it getting to be an argument or being overruled - the one who talks the loudest or longest wins grr -

BOUNDARIES. What to do when a wealthy person assumes you have just as much spending cash as they do?? And they are not offering to cover you? Not go out with them? Say 'I can't afford to hang out with you'? Break the bank or pretend you got money you don't have? IDK
 
Bible_Locket said:
This is great advice for those who may suffer maltreatment from someone.
Click to expand...
Could you summarise the takeaway you got from it?
Thanks. I'm just not up to watching vids at the moment. The sound/speakers on my mac is playing up.
 
Lanolin said:
Could you summarise the takeaway you got from it?
Thanks. I'm just not up to watching vids at the moment. The sound/speakers on my mac is playing up.
Click to expand...
It's actor Keanu Reeves. He says,there are 7 billion people on the planet. If someone treats you badly,they're actually doing you a favor. Now,you can walk away from them and look forward to 6 billion + other people who will likely treat you well.
 
oh...ok
But if it's your own family who you live with its not so easy but ok
Or a job and you don't have another lined up and you depend on it for a living...

I guess its kinda easy for actors to talk about stuff they don't do in real life.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back