Can a Christian marry someone they are not physically attracted to if they are spiritually compatible?

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I've read through few comments and I just wanna say from my own POV,
It's not just about the person being pretty or handsome, or talkinbout how beauty fades and all that.
Ever heard this statement, 'Beauty's in the eyes of the beholder'?
Someone you don't find attractive, may be the most attractive person on earth to another.
Perhaps that's why some say, 'Love is blind'.
When you truly love someone, you see beyond the person's imperfections.
Sometimes you wonder, 'What on earth does he/she find attractive in this person?'
Well, you never know until you find yourself in such position.
 
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I think sometimes Christians can get the idea that physical attraction is somehow "worldly." Apparently, only non-Christians use these "shallow" or "superficial" criteria, while Christians should do better. The "true believer" wouldn't be concerned with that, supposedly. If you do care about that, then you're somehow "petty" or "immature." Or something like that.

But physical attraction is real. In biblical texts, when we encounter couples, the writer often comments on how handsome or beautiful they are. It's OK to be attracted to someone. Sure, it shouldn't be the main criteria, but it does play a role. And it's dynamic, for sure. Human "beauty standards" change all the time, and I've physically attracted to women who didn't have what one might consider "supermodel" good looks. And physical attraction does play a role in physical intimacy, sure.

People get old. If you marry, your spouse will also get old. If someone wants to be with you purely for your looks, well, they'll leave you for the same reason, when your looks change, or someone more attractive comes along.

Also, attraction is dynamic. Sometimes it starts immediately. Sometimes it grows over time. There's drop-dead gorgeous women that I've never been attracted to romantically. There's also beautiful women I've met that I never even considered approaching until after we'd actually spent some more time together and I got to know them better.

Should you marry someone you're not physically attracted to? Probably not.

Sure, I get that “back in the day” there were arranged marriages of one kind or another, and you got what you got. (Apparently, one of the theories about the origin of not seeing the bride before the wedding was so that the neither party would make a run for it because they weren’t attracted :ROFL: ). But unless the Church is willing to go back to arranged marriages, well, then we're going to have to deal with attraction.
 
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RodColeman said:
I think sometimes Christians can get the idea that physical attraction is somehow "worldly." Apparently, only non-Christians use these "shallow" or "superficial" criteria, while Christians should do better. The "true believer" wouldn't be concerned with that, supposedly. If you do care about that, then you're somehow "petty" or "immature." Or something like that.

But physical attraction is real. In biblical texts, when we encounter couples, the writer often comments on how handsome or beautiful they are. It's OK to be attracted to someone. Sure, it shouldn't be the main criteria, but it does play a role. And it's dynamic, for sure. Human "beauty standards" change all the time, and I've physically attracted to women who didn't have what one might consider "supermodel" good looks. And physical attraction does play a role in physical intimacy, sure.

People get old. If you marry, your spouse will also get old. If someone wants to be with you purely for your looks, well, they'll leave you for the same reason, when your looks change, or someone more attractive comes along.

Also, attraction is dynamic. Sometimes it starts immediately. Sometimes it grows over time. There's drop-dead gorgeous women that I've never been attracted to romantically. There's also beautiful women I've met that I never even considered approaching until after we'd actually spent some more time together and I got to know them better.

Should you marry someone you're not physically attracted to? Probably not.

Sure, I get that “back in the day” there were arranged marriages of one kind or another, and you got what you got. (Apparently, one of the theories about the origin of not seeing the bride before the wedding was so that the neither party would make a run for it because they weren’t attracted :ROFL: ). But unless the Church is willing to go back to arranged marriages, well, then we're going to have to deal with attraction.
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Initial physical attraction helps for friendship build up. So if initial no attractions, then can't even start friendship intentionally unless God put 2 people together, slowly they develop friendship and both become attractive to each other after a periodof time.

But merely physical attraction usually that does not last too long.

Important thing is actually family background, upbringing, faith in Jesus, these will help for long lasting faithful marriage.
 
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Churchgoer said:
Initial physical attraction helps for friendship build up. So if initial no attractions, then can't even start friendship intentionally unless God put 2 people together, slowly they develop friendship and both become attractive to each other after a periodof time.

But merely physical attraction usually that does not last too long.

Important thing is actually family background, upbringing, faith in Jesus, these will help for long lasting faithful marriage.
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I don't know if God "puts people together." But I do agree that physical attraction plays a role, and that's fine.

And I don't think you necessarily have to be "friends" before you date. There's physical attraction, and then there's chemistry. Usually you find out whether or not you have "chemistry" if you spend some time together and enjoy each other's company. It doesn't necessarily have to be a long or deep friendship, initially. These things can grow over time.
 
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RodColeman said:
I don't know if God "puts people together." But I do agree that physical attraction plays a role, and that's fine.

And I don't think you necessarily have to be "friends" before you date. There's physical attraction, and then there's chemistry. Usually you find out whether or not you have "chemistry" if you spend some time together and enjoy each other's company. It doesn't necessarily have to be a long or deep friendship, initially. These things can grow over time.
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if total strangers, it takes longer to know each other.
It is easier if already in same social circle, work, neighbors, church....

But hey, all is possible. Best wishes 💕
 
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