Being "nice"
- Thread starter Delvianna
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someone needed to say what you posted. it's a common characteristic. you posted it in a teaching method. that's a fine lesson delvianna. you remind me of my character. when an employee messes up i react in the old fashioned way which is direct, to the crux, sometimes no smile, i stand right in front of him & keep continued eyesight. they think i'm mean & a hard person to deal with. like you say direct communication isn't being mean, it's necessary. you should always correct immediately, especially when you are dealing with kids as parents do. or if i'm in a social situation & a peaceful discussion initiates, i speak directly also. i'm the type that says something which leads to nearly nothing left to say for anyone else. my father-in-law was the same way.
Yeah....I admit I'm kinda evil.
My neighbor has 2 pear trees that are absolutely full of pears.. (I noticed since we were having a goodbye party at his house for another wonderful neighbor)
So....after church today (he's an elder at the local Methodist church) he took off for the Lake.
Cat is away so mice will play. (His kids live just behind him)
So i snuck over there with my truck and a ladder. I picked 3/4ths a bushel of pears...didn't even need my ladder....all low hanging fruit more than enough.
Tasty pears.
Took them home...
Peeled, cored, sliced, cooked, a gallon and now in the oven. 1 batter style cobbler and 2 oatmeal streusel cobblers.
Gonna give the oatmeal-streusel away.....that way I'm just fattening to be evil.
Mwuahhh ha ha ha haaaah.
My neighbor has 2 pear trees that are absolutely full of pears.. (I noticed since we were having a goodbye party at his house for another wonderful neighbor)
So....after church today (he's an elder at the local Methodist church) he took off for the Lake.
Cat is away so mice will play. (His kids live just behind him)
So i snuck over there with my truck and a ladder. I picked 3/4ths a bushel of pears...didn't even need my ladder....all low hanging fruit more than enough.
Tasty pears.
Took them home...
Peeled, cored, sliced, cooked, a gallon and now in the oven. 1 batter style cobbler and 2 oatmeal streusel cobblers.
Gonna give the oatmeal-streusel away.....that way I'm just fattening to be evil.
Mwuahhh ha ha ha haaaah.
We are instructed to be kind and gracious. So what is "nice," as opposed to kindness or graciousness? And why is it bad?
it may be that the police are the ones that made that statement popular. they'll give you a ticket then say, "have a nice day"! my parting greeting is "enjoy the day" or "be & stay joyous".
I'm not saying it's bad, my point was in certain context and circumstances, it's okay to be blunt or direct.
Here's an example: Say someone is taking scripture out of context and leading others astray to the point you can see it's pulling people away from Christ, not towards Him. You do not have to go up to him and kindly tell him to stop preaching his message. You are allowed to go up, bluntly tell him he's taking scripture out of context and it's sending people to hell. And doing so, doesn't make you less of a Christian, just because you delivered the message in a blunt manner.
Another example: Someone is having an affair that you recently found out about. You do not have to go up to them and calmly tell them how they're doing wrong and God doesn't like it, and sugar coat it that God just loves them. You can 100% go up to them and tell them that they're leading themselves to their destruction and they need to stop before God force corrects. Again, not less of a Christian for doing so.
Both are correcting in love. Love can be blunt. Love can be direct, and it doesn't have to be "nice".
I completely agree! I think some times its better to be blunt so people understand and in a lot of instances, nice can turn into beating around the bush which isn't going to help anything. There are point and times to be kind, caring and nice and theres others where directness and being blunt is necessary. I honestly appreciate blunt more than I do sugary kindness in some instances because there's no confusion as to what they mean or even how grave a situation can be. I've also been told that sometimes my directness is hard to handle. But people who stick around me have also told me that they've grown to appreciate it because it actually helps in the long term than short term kisses do.
I wish you joy...and happiness
Admonishment, rebuke and exhortation are in the Bible.
Nobody said you ALWAYS have to be sugary nice.
Iron sharpens Iron and all that.
AI answers this...I looked it up
The phrase reverses the biblical proverb "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy" (found in Proverbs 27:6). It contrasts honest, painful truth from a caring person with fake, dangerous flattery from someone who wishes harm. [1, 2, 3]
Nobody said you ALWAYS have to be sugary nice.
Iron sharpens Iron and all that.
AI answers this...I looked it up
The phrase reverses the biblical proverb "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy" (found in Proverbs 27:6). It contrasts honest, painful truth from a caring person with fake, dangerous flattery from someone who wishes harm. [1, 2, 3]
what a way of posting this lesson. super! imagine all the perseverance & ambition people lose out on because they are "sugar coaters"! you & i are alike. being strait forward gets to the heart of the matter & is everlasting in the mind of the listener. everyone should think of how the army trains people. 1 example: wade boggs was a major league baseball player who was extremely disciplined. his dad was a military man & brought wade up that way. he finished his career with a .328 batting average that got him into the hall of fame.
Not an affair per se, but I was blunt with a friend of mine who was hitting on women while seriously talking to one about marriage.
1st time- blunt
2nd time - direct, then tried to be understanding and help him see what he needs to heal in order to stop his behavior. ( So half direct, half nice)
If he does it again, I'm going to church leadership and potentially letting her know myself. But yeah...
It's more about about truth vs. lies. The backwards and sinful generations of shame and adultery get this confused alot, it is psychological and spiritual in tandem with their most notable sins. The apostles and prophets weren't being edgy or mean either, they were just being honest.
maybe you should tell now.you could be the person that saves future trouble. if found out that someone in church or anywhere was suggesting dating while involved with someone else, i'd tell immediately.
I just talked to him again on saturday about it (wrote a letter). He was appreciative and said he's going to work on it better. I'm going to give him that opportunity first. If I were to tell leadership now, I feel like that's the wrong idea. That's just adding more pressure and drama without giving him 1 more opportunity to stop. So since I've already just talked to him, if he takes the correction and he's good from here out, there's no need to get anyone else involved. The motive is to get him to change.