When Paul talks about the "gift of singleness," he seems to be referring to the calling of lifelong celibacy. Not a temporary state of unwanted singleness. The Bible doesn't really say anything temporary singleness. It talks about marriage, and it talks about lifelong celibacy.
Also, when Paul calls singleness a "gift," he seems to be referring to an ability, not the state of being single. Paul didn't write this epistle in English, after all. The word "gift" here means an ability, not a "present." He also says in 7:9 that these gifts are "from God." Compare that to the different categories of single people Jesus talks about in Matthew 19. Some people, Jesus said are made single "by God," while others choose singleness for themselves, and others are made single by "other men," meaning they never had a choice in the matter. Some people are single not because they chose that or because God chose it. It's just the way life turned out.
Sometimes, when you’re a Christian single and you express the desire for these things, some well-meaning people will “helpfully” remind you of all the positive things that Paul said about singleness. And he does say positive things. But he says other things, too.
Paul’s writing on this issue is pretty nuanced. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says he has no “commandment from God” about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it’s good to stay single, but that it’s better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul “supposes” that it’s better to stay single because of “the present distress,” some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you’re not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.
Also, a lot of the time, when you’re single, people tell you to “take advantage” of it because you can apparently “serve more.” You have more “time” to serve, they’ll say.
I think lot of this comes from a certain take (a misinterpretation, in my view) on what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35. Paul basically says that an unmarried person is devoted to the Lord and not distracted by the needs of his spouse. This is then interpreted by some to mean that a person can do “more ministry” as a single. I don’t think that’s what Paul says here. I mean, if that’s the case, why are all the pastors and church elders typically married? Did they make a mistake? Is marriage getting in the way of their ministry? What Paul says here, I believe, is that if you aren't distracted by the desire for marriage, then maybe you have the gift of singleness.
And, of course, in English, “distracting” has a negative connotation, so we often bring that into play when discussing this passage. But it seems more like Paul is simply making the elementary observation that marriage can place more demands on your attention than singleness.
Also, I do think it’s possible that some Christians who desire marriage still won’t be able to find it. In Matthew 19, when Jesus talks about people who are celibate, he mentions a few different types: people who choose to live that way, people who were made that way by God, and people who were made that way by other men. In other words, some people stay single, and it’s not because they chose it or because God chose it. It’s just how life turned out. We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. I’ve often read that there’s more Christian women in the world than there are men. If that’s broadly accurate, it means that not everyone will be able to find a marriage partner.
An interesting thing about marriage is that God created it at the dawn of the world. It happened while Adam had a perfect, sinless relationship with God. So it wasn’t a lack of God being “enough” that made God give Adam a wife. He looked at Adam and said it “wasn’t good” for him to be alone. Wait! So even when he was totally with God, Adam still needed someone else? Whoops.
Of course, then what happened? Mankind rebelled, sin entered the world, and everything has been screwed up ever since.
Yes, God is good. But we live in a world that is not good. I don’t think our singleness is always because of some spiritual-sounding reason, even if we try to find one very badly. We live in a bad world, where bad things happen and life doesn’t always go our way. We always try to find some spiritual-sounding reason for why God, apparently, caused these things to happen. But, in the end, we don’t know, and have no way of knowing. These days, lots of people wait longer to get married. Is that a plan that God devised? God “used to” do that when you were 16-22 years old, but now He, in His infinite wisdom, has decided to test us further by letting us all wait an extra ten years or so. Right.
I mean, what if you’re currently being abused? Or homeless? Or unemployed? Is that “God’s plan,” just because it’s currently happening? Is that “God’s best” for me today?
Maybe I've started rambling. Anyway, I do believe that the "gift" Paul refers to is an ability that God gives certain people. But not everyone who's currently single has this ability.
. The prob being creating a Thread to match up everyone, lol. 'Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth' Mk 9:23
