I thought the same about the dark inappropriate humor, that doesn't normally go hand in hand with super strict religion. I'm not gonna judge though I can't promise I'm not gonna laugh at something I shouldn't from time to time ...it's part of being human.
First piece of advice... if ya meet a woman don't tell her your inspiration was "I need a hired hand." then remembered I'm too cheap, "BUT A WIIIIFE!"
While I definitely understand your post (I read the love comes softly books..I know about learning to love) , I also know women, and God...
When someone is crying and confiding in you, I mean really pouring their heart out, wait till they're finished then respond with, "huh? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, could you start over with that ?"
Go on, try it.... it'll be fun..
Growing up where I grew up... I saw people get looked down on for a number of things , women wearing pants, if a guys hair was combed in too worldly a fashon, if men don't like hunting and providing for their family, if the man of the family doesnt want to carry a concealed weapon and protect...
Nothing wrong at all with these desires. I hope that you and this Godly, protector, provider with gentle hands and heart find each other in His time ♡♡♡♡