Appreciating How God Made You

My friend your testimony is a sad and yet beautiful one and needs to be shared as much as possible. I too know what it's like to struggle in school and feel like you can't do anything I was convinced I was so dumb that I couldn't cook an egg. What you have gone through no one should have to deal with however it is because of all you have been through that you will be able to reach the hearts of others who have known the same.

I don't believe in accidents or coincidences and I believe that it was no accident that you went through what you did, believe me I have seen the power that a ad and gruesome testimony can have on the hearts of people. People can relate to pain and sadness and even people who have never known pain and sadness on that level are often times impacted by such testimonies.
Any kind of flaws we may have is not an issue for him because while we may be lacking he is not and he uses what we are lacking to show that he isn't and he uses our weakness to show his strength.

Pain and sorrow are two of the most common things in this world and strangely enough they are some of the few things in this world that tie people together and create bonds, it is human to know and feel pain and sorrow and Jesus himself knew both of these very well more so than any of us. I myself still struggle with self esteem and I still cannot even stand to look at myself yet in my heart I believe what i have just written because I know that whatever I may see think of feel about myself doesn't matter because I am blind to all of this I do not truly see but he does.

Blain, my eyes were filled with tears as I read this, literally. Hearing you say this is humbling and a blessing considered with what hardships you've been through. You are absolutely right when you say that pain and sorrow helps us to connect with others on a deeper level and that Jesus knew that better than any of us will comprehend. Honestly, I wish none of us had to go through pain and suffering, but God can take the most gruesome situation and turn it into a masterpiece.

You're also correct about how we shouldn't rely on our feelings when it comes to self-worth. Since our worth comes from and will always be from God. It definitely is a struggle for many of us though, our finite and imperfect minds will never be able to fully grasp the bigger picture that God has put on display.

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, Blain. You inspire me and so many others.

My friend if you only knew how much it meant to me that what i said impacted you so deeply however I cannot in any way take credit. All that i have spoken were not my own words, All i do is speak my heart he is the words that flow through. Just consider the post above a direct message from his lips to your heart

Thanks for sharing. I'm old. I still don't fix my bed regularly or color or dust. I was screamed at for not doing it 'right' so often. Pick your battles, with others as well as to do what's good for you. My mother was a good woman but she dealt poorly with stress. I love her still, even as she looks down from heaven. I find solace in the Word and peace alone with God. About 5 years or more into the mental health regime, I noticed that others noticed I'd leave the room when the words heated up...same with my Mom. She stopped having rages when I was near. Compassion...loved that. Somedays I still cry. I lost my secular family, my children are not very close at this point. I'd love a 'real' sister to understand. Not going to happen... Just came looking for a proverbial 'hug'....God bless all! -student

A favorite quote: "If you have one true friend, you have more than your share." I believe that's Jesus and it is definitely more than my share. Thank you for the kind words. Just a tough day. Hope you are well. You are a brilliant person, you know. You shine so brightly...God bless!

When I was little, my mom would make me sit at the table on evenings and solve math equations out of a workbook. Coming from an Asian background, academics was very important to my mom. She would often get frustrated and yell at me when I failed to do it correctly. I was always bawling my eyes out every time she got angry. The more I cried, the angrier she got. Growing up, I struggled a bit in school. I always needed help from teachers and other students because I couldn't do things right by myself. Thinking logically and rationally doesn't come naturally for me. My brain has a difficult time slowing down and processing thoughts. People would constantly tell me, "Think, Jennifer, think!" "Use your brain!" "Why are you always making this so difficult!" It was really frustrating every time I struggled or people assumed I wasn't trying when I was. Eventually I wore a mask called "apathy" and became very lazy. I felt so incapable, helpless, and weak. I convinced myself it was pointless to try. I cheated off of homework assignments from friends and let my teammates do most of the work during group projects and boss me around with doing easy tasks. In the meantime, people would compare me to my brother who was more natural at making good grades and didn't have to apply himself much. Some would say, "Seriously? You're his sister? You're supposed to be real brainy like him! What's wrong with you!" When someone would try to correct a fault I made, I'd get very angry or discouraged and walk away. Sometimes I'd lash out or throw an object at them or on the ground. I felt like I was constantly being attacked and looked down on. I became a victim of my own pity parties that I threw myself all the time. I started questioning God, demanding why He made me the way I am. It didn't seem fair to me that I struggled with this while everyone around me was more self-reliant, capable, intelligent, and strong. The hatred I harbored towards myself kept rising and the more I hated myself, the more I hated God.


Just two weeks before my high school graduation, I tried to commit suicide. I didn't think I would be able to graduate from high school and head to college. I felt like the world was crumbling down on me. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive in the real world. It made more sense to take the "easier" way out. I feared being alone in my limitations and failures. I told God that it was pointless to keep me alive and He should replace me with someone more capable and strong to fulfill His grand purpose. However, my plan failed and I ended up staying in a mental health facility for a little while.

If you're wondering why God made you the way you are, it's because He has a special, unique role for you! I don't know how it will unfold for you, but we all have the same purpose: To love God and share His love with others.





"But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?"-(Romans 9:20). In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul illustrates the importance of everyone belonging to the body of Christ and how each part has a function. Verses 22-23 says, "On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts we consider less honorable, we treat with greater honor." I'm certainly not the strongest, smartest, wisest, most talented, and skilled person. I'm terribly weak, but because I'm so weak, I have to depend on God so that He could use my weaknesses to showcase His awesome strength. That's the only way I can positively impact people's lives through words of encouragement, insight, wisdom, and bridging the gap to resources and other people to help their spiritual growth. It's only THROUGH GOD I am capable of what I do. Instead of viewing my single-mindedness and utter dependence as a curse, I now consider them a blessing. Thus, like Paul, I will boast evermore in my weaknesses(2 Corinthians 12:9-10).


That being said, whatever "flaw", "imperfection", "failing", or "weakness" you consider yourself having, I want you to embrace them as gifts to impact your calling in this life you were given. I heard a story about Amy Carmichael(1867-1951), who wished her eyes were blue instead of brown when she was younger. She hoped and prayed that God would change her eye color, but became disappointed when He didn't. Little did she know that many years later, God would use her to save countless lives of children and women from sex trafficking and rituals performed in Hindu temples in India. Her brown eyes allowed her to blend in as she disguised herself with mud to look like the Indians and help them escape. Many came to know Christ through her as a result.

I want you to know and accept that who you are and how you were made is no accident. God didn't make garbage(Genesis 1:31). Just because you don't "feel" that way doesn't mean that it's not true. You are beautiful, adored, cherished, and dearly loved by God. And you each have something valuable to share with others. So celebrate that instead of feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself only stifles your gifts. Don't let anyone (especially the devil) say otherwise.Everything will work out the way it's supposed to as long as You continue to trust Him and center your identity in Him.








Romans 8:28, "And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose."

Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."



Psalm 139:14, "I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well."



Psalm 139:15-16, "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."


I've compiled two separate lists at the bottom to help you embrace how God made you and walk out your identity in Him. You can print them out, journal, or copy and paste them into Word, Evernote, OneNote, etc. Look at them and rehearse them out loud to yourself daily. Or just keep them somewhere where you can pull them up when you need them. There's no right or wrong way to do this. Just as long as they help you to see yourself in God's eyes. Because honestly, it's His opinion that truly matters.

Who I Am In Christ Confessions


True Identity In Christ Scriptures