18 year daughter who wants friends as oppose to her family

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Buzzy

Guest
#1
#1
My daughter who just turned 18 yrs old in September has given me alot of problems heartache, I had to throw her out because she confronted me with harsh words and I even warned her several times, she always says I am mean, keep her locked up, but that isn't true, she recently came back not even a month ago after being away for 3 months all she wants is the streets and have fun. She wanted a boyfriend I let her but I thought he would respect my home and he didn't. I had a talk with her and told her that it wasn't right for him to be touching her just yet because they had just started going out,she got upset and said she was leaving and she did. I don't know what to do with her she always says lies just to get her way, now she's even telling a friend that she reproaches me and she doesn't call me or anything she has no heart, mean while I am suffering so much because what she is saying and doing is all so wrong what can I do?
 
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carpetmanswife

Guest
#2
#2
We as parents cannot tolerate disrespect no matter how old they get .But her being 18 we cannot control what they do either ,i understand your pain ,concerns and fears . All we do now is pray for em and love em thru it. my heart truly goes out to you.
 
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Faith04

Guest
#3
#3
Pray......push until something happens
 
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fani

Guest
#4
#4
Every teenager goes through a rebel stage. Hopefully in the future you guys will be close. She really just needs to grow up. Just remeber everyone learns in different ways. some people really just have to go through something tragic in order to open their eyes. Trust me, just pray on it and ask God to give you peace on this situation. Leave it in Gods hands. This is something you can not control.
 
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Dragoon9

Guest
#5
#5
Hi Buzzy,

I'm going to try to be gentle, but also honest as I talk with you. I know you're going through a lot of pain right now, and I don't want to add to it. But rebuilding a Godly relationship with your daughter is going to take time... and honesty.

Family situations don't just happen. The situation you're talking about has been building up and developing for years. It will take time also to heal.

It sounds like you've been wandering back and forth in your relationship with your daughter, between accomodation and firmness. You allow her a boyfriend to try to please her, but it doesn't sound like you really talked about what was allowed or not allowed. Then there's movement to be firm again. Has this been the cycle?

Consider God's relationship with the Israelites. Does He sway back and forth in who He is, or is he the same yesterday, today and forever? (He 13:8)

God is also continuously clear with them on what is right, even when this goes against what the Israelites desire, and we see this over and over again as the Prophets call God's people to repentance.

Here are some thoughts;
1) Set just, simple and fair rules for your daughter. Communicate them to her clearly and kindly, and explain/discuss them with her so she understands them
2) Stick by your rules, though be slow to anger and abounding in love, as God is to us (Jonah 4:2)

Your daughter doesn't need another friend. She needs a mother. Even though she will complain about the rules, people and especially young people want stability in their lives.

God tells us he will "punish the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments." (Ex 20:5-6).

We've all made mistakes with our children, and they will suffer for our sin... perhaps making the same mistakes we made, because despite our failings they still love us and want to be like us. But God's love is greater still, and will be with us if we love, trust and obey Him.
 
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