A few rambling thoughts, many uncertain questions.

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Bytez8888

Guest
#1
#1
Hi there friends!

I felt the urge to post a thread this fine evening, mainly because i am one of those souls who struggle to fall asleep and struggle to wake up. So many nights have been spent thinking, endlessly about everything. And tonight is one of those nights!

I have a cluttered mind, it’s constantly debating itself, picking sides and trying to think up new things. I’ve often compared my brain to two people constantly bickering and arguing, one opinionated and headstrong, the other cautious and unsure. At the creaking old age of 21, I’ve found a way of forming the two together, into me.

Anyways, that back story puts in my place my real point. I struggle to have a clear head and think properly at times. Because of this, I often don’t fully understand what I feel. It’s usually when I have intense feelings such as sadness, joy and heartbreak; that i can understand what’s happening. It’s those muddled in-between feelings I struggle with.

I am very happy with my life right now; I have found a direction with my life. I came to know myself more in college and am currently ready to complete my degree with one year left. I have a good family, who cares for me even when they bicker. I have two beautiful baby nephews, both born within the last 2 months. I have no intense sorrow; I know when I feel Joy. What I can’t figure out is my relationship with God.

I believe in God whole heartedly, I love Jesus. I understand the sacrifice he made. So I do not struggle with belief, or faith. The honest truth is, I do not know what I feel.

I have fallen away from some things with my faith; I was missing church a lot. I wasn’t reading my bible, i wasn’t praying. I use to be very good at praying often, now I find myself losing attention when I pray. Drifting off somewhere else. I have started to remedy these things; I have been going to church more consistently. And trying to pray in ways that keep me focused.

I don’t really know what I feel, I often think I feel lonely. I wish I had someone to turn to, to ask their opinion. I have friends, but none who I feel I should burden constantly with my troubles and concerns.

Like I said, I don’t really know. I’m not unhappy, I’m just in the middle of life and unsure of where to go. A million options on the table and nothing and no one leading me to any of them. My life almost feels like I’ve been on a journey, and have suffered and celebrated to get where I am. Now that I’m here I have sat down and forgot where I came from. I have separated from my past, because there were things that were holding me back, but perhaps I let go of things I should have kept.

So, seeing that I haven’t asked a question, and any bored enough or dedicated enough to read this far deserves one. My questions (or maybe comment’s) are these...

have any of you been here before? Stuck with nothing to steer you? Not unhappy, but not filled with purpose? What would you do if you were me? What are those little globs in tapioca pudding?

Perhaps for me, the best thing is to type it out and think it through, it seems the best way for me to organize my thoughts. Anyways, thank you all for any though or consideration you give my ramblings. I hope to read some replies.

Remember, you are loved.

Zach


P.S. I love contractions, and yes I use spell check before I post. I also uppercase every I. One last thing, I am a singer. That’s my degree in college, vocal performance. Maybe that will help describe my personality a little more.
 
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vahn

Guest
#2
#2
Stuff is deep man. I can say that I have been there and still struggle with this a lot. Do your best to spend more time in prayer and ask God for guidance, and I will be sure to do the same for you. God bless brother.
 
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Credo_ut_Intelligam

Guest
#3
#3
My advise here is probably worthless, but if I were in your situation (and I think I've been in similar ones) what I would do is focus on what's right in front of me or all around me every day.

I wouldn't try to find my purpose in some grand future goal, but in my daily activities: finishing up your last year of college (new semester starting soon, right?), spending time with your nephews, and whatever other responsibilities or opportunities you might have through the day.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might...
 
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Chris_Aussie

Guest
#4
#4
Hi I'm not realy a young adult but I have been there. reading your post one thing sprang to mind- depression. That or the like will cause sleeplessness and things like you said. Sometimes talking to someone about these things helps and getting help it isn't a sign of weakness.

When you hurt your arm it sorta fixes itself automatic. Our thoughts aren't like that they don't always fix themselves, sometimes chatting to the right person fixes it and its happy days again :) If your at uni there are trained people there for you.

hope that helps
cheers ,
chris
 
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Credo_ut_Intelligam

Guest
#5
#5
One last thing, I would also ask God to help me have joy in these little everyday things. I think these things can provide us with a lot of joy, happiness, or appreciation that we often miss because of our sinful nature.

Job 20:20, 22 says “Because he knew no contentment in his belly, he will not let anything in which he delights escape him... In the fullness of his sufficiency he will be in distress."

In our fallen state we find it hard to remain joyful or satisfied with anything for any length of time. We get tired of things, start taking them for granted, etc. We want more and more, but soon will be unsatisfied with that too, unless the grace of God constrains us.

Later in Job, Elihu says that people are constantly crying out from their hardships, "But none says, ‘Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night, who teaches us more than the beasts of the earth and makes us wiser than the birds of the heavens?’" (Job 35:10–11). He goes on to say “Remember to extol his work, of which men have sung" (36:24) and then goes on to list things like rain and thunder.

But how often do we actually appreciate things like the rain or thunder or the fact that we are smarter than horses? Lately I've been really looking at the sky and realizing how beautiful that is. It's great to have so many things around us that we can take pleasure in. Ask God to help you do that.
 
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jangel

Senior Member
#6
May 12, 2010
487
2
0
#6
More verses…

Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Matthew 26:41
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Hebrews 10:25
25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Revelation 2: 4-5
4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

I used to be someone who will never start and end my day without reading my Bible and praying, that just made my day complete, but like you, there’s just really times that we fall and so we have to be reminded. Try also saying your prayer where you can hear it, that will help you stay on focus.
 
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Bytez8888

Guest
#7
#7
vahn said:
Stuff is deep man. I can say that I have been there and still struggle with this a lot. Do your best to spend more time in prayer and ask God for guidance, and I will be sure to do the same for you. God bless brother.
Click to expand...

Thanks I appreciate it.
 
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Bytez8888

Guest
#8
#8
Chris_Aussie said:
Hi I'm not realy a young adult but I have been there. reading your post one thing sprang to mind- depression. That or the like will cause sleeplessness and things like you said. Sometimes talking to someone about these things helps and getting help it isn't a sign of weakness.

When you hurt your arm it sorta fixes itself automatic. Our thoughts aren't like that they don't always fix themselves, sometimes chatting to the right person fixes it and its happy days again :) If your at uni there are trained people there for you.

hope that helps
cheers ,
chris
Click to expand...

Hey Chris, yeah ive thought about depression before and ive been in a couple classes that have gone over it. I dont feel as if i have the actual symptons for it, but seeing that it runs in my family i havent shrugged it off either. And its true, we have counselers at the college. Ive though of seeing them, you have kinda reniforced that for me. Thanks so much for the input and concern. I can tell its genuine.

Zach
 
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Bytez8888

Guest
#9
#9
Credo_ut_Intelligam said:
My advise here is probably worthless, but if I were in your situation (and I think I've been in similar ones) what I would do is focus on what's right in front of me or all around me every day.

I wouldn't try to find my purpose in some grand future goal, but in my daily activities: finishing up your last year of college (new semester starting soon, right?), spending time with your nephews, and whatever other responsibilities or opportunities you might have through the day.

Ecclesiastes 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might...
Click to expand...

Hey Credo, i really aprreciate your post. Ive read some of your other posts before, in other forums. And ive always appreciated your views. You seem to come at things logically, using the bible as your reference. I competeley agree with you, seeing joy in the little things and appreciating the small thigns is something that changed the way i look at life. When i finally stopped trying to get to the end, which i didint even know what that iwas. And when i started to enjoy each day on its own, i became much happier. Thanks for reminding me.

Im a poetic soul, i try to find meaning in everything.I need to remember that sometimes a rose is just a rose. And it doesent make it any less beautiful.
 
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Bytez8888

Guest
#10
#10
jangel said:
More verses…

Colossians 3:2
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Matthew 26:41
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

Hebrews 10:25
25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Revelation 2: 4-5
4Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. 5Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.

I used to be someone who will never start and end my day without reading my Bible and praying, that just made my day complete, but like you, there’s just really times that we fall and so we have to be reminded. Try also saying your prayer where you can hear it, that will help you stay on focus.
Click to expand...

Yeah, i think your right about praying out loud. That was the one way that always seemed to keep me focused, and it also made me feel much closer to God. Like he was talking back.

Zach
 
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