You politely asked me to witness of my conversion in Christ, and as I was still considered a neophyte by the Catholic Church not-so-long ago, I’ve had the opportunity to meet several « old catholics » as they sometimes call themselves, among whom a good part confessed to me their admiration of my decision to receive the Holy Sacrament that is Baptism.
They genuinely felt reignited in their faith, by witnessing and participating in the new generation of Christians’ advocacy for the Gospel, and honest will to ask the Lord our God for his heartfelt forgiveness, as a prerequisite to be prepared to enter a state of Grace that would lead them towards their own inevitable death and glorious resurrection in Jesus Christ.
So I want to share my testimony.
I was not baptized as a child.
I tried once to find answers by asking to get this Sacrament, in an attempt to better understand the relationship between the Bible and occult symbols and rites.
I was an atheist for several decades. I was not the kind of atheist that could be reasoned.
I did spend a generous portion of my life blaming the Church for all the injustice in the world.
When I was adolescent, most of my acquaintances were children of Marxist-Leninist parents who held strong opinions against religion as being the Opium of the People and a distraction crafted by the capitalist financial elite to lead astray people from the class struggle.
On the year of my twenty-one years of age though, I had a very memorable dream during the night.
It happened in a triptych, like das Jüngste Gericht by Hans Memling.
The first dream that I remember being in depicted the stars falling from the sky onto earth.
In the second dream, I was walking among millions of kneeling people. They were all kneeling in the same direction. I looked up and understood that they were kneeling to Jesus.
In this dream, Jesus stood in front of my eyes, and I was now seeing as if I was staring into His eyes. The eyes of the Christ seemed to me as charged of an immense pain.
Jesus was not just suffering in His Body.
His eyes were piercing my soul, and I could now feel His suffering come from me.
It was like He was feeling this emotional pain because of the sins I commited, but also due to the emotional hurt I inflicted to myself, and that He was feeling at the exact same time that I did.
God exists. I thought. He’s empathetic to me.
He waits patiently for my call to put an end to this. He is ready to forgive all my transgressions, given that I repent now.
The third and last dream was a vision of incommensurable fireballs hitting the ground, bringing ruin and destruction to earth
I was standing here, abandoned by God, because I chose not to believe in His name, but instead in the transhumanist promise of immortality and omnipotence.
I was an antichrist.
Revelation 16:15
« Look, I come like a thief ! Blessed is the one who stays awake and remains clothed, so as not to go naked and be shamefully exposed. »
When I woke up from this dream, I was believing in the existence of God.
My pride and my bitterness were preventing me from accepting forgiveness from Jesus Christ.
I kept a striking mental image of the eyes of Christ, and it never erased from my mind.
I used it to feed my occult obsessions.
In the period following my first encounter with Jesus, I became severely confused, to the point were I experienced a real debilitating inability to discern Truth.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of twenty-five.
Due to my condition, I was admitted in multiple psychiatric institutes.
At this point I developed an addiction to cocaine as a coping mechanism.
This situation had taken ahold of my life, hijacking it to the point where I could no longer attend the catechumenate reunions, and was convinced that I was bound to a demon.
I was fighting this demon alone by myself, in this very same sense of pride that pressured me into refusing my own salvation. And I always lost. I just did not have the willpower.
It led me to hurt myself but also the people I love.
The medication was not helping. It slowed my neurons until I was not in position to oppose any resistance.
I was at my lowest.
I was using gematria daily to converse with foul spirits, feeding my head in a desperate attempt to make sense of the hidden layout, of the big picture, of any of the mess.
The demons laughed at me.
They were threatening me and asking me to kneel before them.
I ended up living like a homeless man. I was doing drugs and drinking liquor all day long just to pass out drunk in the streets or in subterranean parking lots in an attempt to sleep.
I was dirty and I smelled horrible.
I still had a place to live, but I could not handle being alone, stuck behind four walls.
But in the long run, this life was very hard on my nerves.
So I eventually came back to my tiny appartment.
Ten years had passed since I saw Jesus resurrected in His Glory.
After a while I took an opportunity to move out to a different part of the country.
Once there, I finally felt at peace, due to the radical environmental change.
I began to pray, asking Jesus for forgiveness in an act of contrition, tried going back to church to attend the Mass again.
I wanted to accept Jesus in my heart, and I wanted to offer my life to Him with the same humility He had when he gave His life for my redemption.
So after twelve years I asked for a second chance to receive Jesus Christ into my heart.
I got baptized in 2025, the year of the jubilee, at age thirty-three in the Catholic Church.
Since, praise be to the Lord, I am no longer symptomatic of any mental illness.
Psychiatrists now consider me in remission.
I’ve completely stopped using cocaine for one and a half year.
My joy resides in celebrating the Mass along with my brother and sisters, to work everyday to thrive in faith, in hope and in charity, as every day brings the blessings of the living God.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
« Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. »
They genuinely felt reignited in their faith, by witnessing and participating in the new generation of Christians’ advocacy for the Gospel, and honest will to ask the Lord our God for his heartfelt forgiveness, as a prerequisite to be prepared to enter a state of Grace that would lead them towards their own inevitable death and glorious resurrection in Jesus Christ.
So I want to share my testimony.
I was not baptized as a child.
I tried once to find answers by asking to get this Sacrament, in an attempt to better understand the relationship between the Bible and occult symbols and rites.
I was an atheist for several decades. I was not the kind of atheist that could be reasoned.
I did spend a generous portion of my life blaming the Church for all the injustice in the world.
When I was adolescent, most of my acquaintances were children of Marxist-Leninist parents who held strong opinions against religion as being the Opium of the People and a distraction crafted by the capitalist financial elite to lead astray people from the class struggle.
On the year of my twenty-one years of age though, I had a very memorable dream during the night.
It happened in a triptych, like das Jüngste Gericht by Hans Memling.
The first dream that I remember being in depicted the stars falling from the sky onto earth.
In the second dream, I was walking among millions of kneeling people. They were all kneeling in the same direction. I looked up and understood that they were kneeling to Jesus.
In this dream, Jesus stood in front of my eyes, and I was now seeing as if I was staring into His eyes. The eyes of the Christ seemed to me as charged of an immense pain.
Jesus was not just suffering in His Body.
His eyes were piercing my soul, and I could now feel His suffering come from me.
It was like He was feeling this emotional pain because of the sins I commited, but also due to the emotional hurt I inflicted to myself, and that He was feeling at the exact same time that I did.
God exists. I thought. He’s empathetic to me.
He waits patiently for my call to put an end to this. He is ready to forgive all my transgressions, given that I repent now.
The third and last dream was a vision of incommensurable fireballs hitting the ground, bringing ruin and destruction to earth
I was standing here, abandoned by God, because I chose not to believe in His name, but instead in the transhumanist promise of immortality and omnipotence.
I was an antichrist.
Revelation 16:15
« Look, I come like a thief ! Blessed is the one who stays awake and remains clothed, so as not to go naked and be shamefully exposed. »
When I woke up from this dream, I was believing in the existence of God.
My pride and my bitterness were preventing me from accepting forgiveness from Jesus Christ.
I kept a striking mental image of the eyes of Christ, and it never erased from my mind.
I used it to feed my occult obsessions.
In the period following my first encounter with Jesus, I became severely confused, to the point were I experienced a real debilitating inability to discern Truth.
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of twenty-five.
Due to my condition, I was admitted in multiple psychiatric institutes.
At this point I developed an addiction to cocaine as a coping mechanism.
This situation had taken ahold of my life, hijacking it to the point where I could no longer attend the catechumenate reunions, and was convinced that I was bound to a demon.
I was fighting this demon alone by myself, in this very same sense of pride that pressured me into refusing my own salvation. And I always lost. I just did not have the willpower.
It led me to hurt myself but also the people I love.
The medication was not helping. It slowed my neurons until I was not in position to oppose any resistance.
I was at my lowest.
I was using gematria daily to converse with foul spirits, feeding my head in a desperate attempt to make sense of the hidden layout, of the big picture, of any of the mess.
The demons laughed at me.
They were threatening me and asking me to kneel before them.
I ended up living like a homeless man. I was doing drugs and drinking liquor all day long just to pass out drunk in the streets or in subterranean parking lots in an attempt to sleep.
I was dirty and I smelled horrible.
I still had a place to live, but I could not handle being alone, stuck behind four walls.
But in the long run, this life was very hard on my nerves.
So I eventually came back to my tiny appartment.
Ten years had passed since I saw Jesus resurrected in His Glory.
After a while I took an opportunity to move out to a different part of the country.
Once there, I finally felt at peace, due to the radical environmental change.
I began to pray, asking Jesus for forgiveness in an act of contrition, tried going back to church to attend the Mass again.
I wanted to accept Jesus in my heart, and I wanted to offer my life to Him with the same humility He had when he gave His life for my redemption.
So after twelve years I asked for a second chance to receive Jesus Christ into my heart.
I got baptized in 2025, the year of the jubilee, at age thirty-three in the Catholic Church.
Since, praise be to the Lord, I am no longer symptomatic of any mental illness.
Psychiatrists now consider me in remission.
I’ve completely stopped using cocaine for one and a half year.
My joy resides in celebrating the Mass along with my brother and sisters, to work everyday to thrive in faith, in hope and in charity, as every day brings the blessings of the living God.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
« Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. »
, or if it's hot outside some white Muscat de Rivesaltes. Avoid drinking too much rosé though, in the summer it can quickly get to your head.