(I wrote this in the early 2000s when I had signs and symptoms of something yet there was no diagnosis or could not find anything clinically wrong with me. Along with it came sleeplessness, respite came unexpectedly in one of those lovely songs. It was a start of a healing that touched my spirit and renewed my soul.)
But none says, ’Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night, who teaches us more than the beasts of the earth, and makes us wiser than the birds in the air?’ Job 35:10-11 (RSV)
I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search. Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more.
Psalms 77:6-7 (KJV)
Rule over my soul
Rule over my soul
Sweet Spirit rule over my soul
My rest is complete
As I sit at Your feet
Sweet Spirit rule over my soul 1
How can I forget this song? How can I not express my deepest appreciation to God? This song always softens my heart, not even the façade I drape around myself can prevent it from seeping through the arteries of my system into the wash basin of my soul. Maybe because tears soaked the very words of this song, wrinkling my very being, touching my heart, then easing my pain.
My eyes were weary, open and heavy, black circles bordered my orbits; I haven’t been able to sleep for several nights. I could not remember how many but it seemed like an eternity. Every night at that period of time, alone, I was counting the hours by minutes, the second’s hand of the clock moved as if in slow motion. I was agitated at first but as the nights dived even deeper I became a little bit worried. I can’t understand why I can’t sleep or even feel a little sleepy. As the wee hours of the mornings brought the cold air in, I was always panicking. I tossed and turned in my bed; in the dark, I stole a few glances at the clock hoping that I caught a few naps, but knew I didn’t.
These had been going on for many days or even weeks. I failed to recollect exactly the number but this was one of the worse that had happened to me or not the worst. By mornings, I was very tired but still sleep was elusive. I often asked myself why of the many people I was the one deprived. Taxed and irritated, I did my usual routines.
There was an instance at the height of my predicament, when I strolled the city one night, observing several homeless people sleeping in the streets with just cardboards on their backs, open sky above their heads and under the mercy of the elements. How soundly they were sleeping. When I returned home I never stopped wondering.
“Why can’t I sleep like them?"
My eyes were sore and heavy. Beating a little faster, my heart fluttered irregularly, it pained me every time it did. Thoughts came to me, many and checkered. An idea that seemed plausible, and practical: ‘why not find songs that can calm me down’. Usually before when insomnia attacked me, listening to music was one of the remedies I used to redeem the sleeping hours lost. I searched through that night, on cabinets, boards, folders for that familiar old, frayed Christian Song book that I had frequently dismissing.
Having found it, I skimmed for some recognizable songs I previously sang to memory. A few songs were forcibly sung, still my confounded spirit cannot find peace; rest was avoiding me. It was still raging stirred by the unknown.
That night was deathly silent but the roars from within frightened me. I cried to the Lord for relief. I prayed. And prayed a little more. I prayed fervently for I know that this was not the usual insomnia, this was different. This was something else. Indeed it was, moreover, it was spiritual by nature.
As if Someone had led my eyes to that quaint, beloved song I loved to hum when I first met the Lord, when I first accepted Him as my Savior and Lord. It was an answer to my desperate plea. The Lord heard me. Looking for an appropriate song for peace to still my heart, He led me right to it.
Rule over my soul
Rule over my soul…
That was what I wanted all along, Someone to rule over my soul. Tired and weary, I knew I failed in ruling my life, much more my deviant soul. It needed Someone; the One who made me and wanted to take control of my life. I knew it was time to hand Him the reins. I was worn-out running my own. It had been in a cataclysm and it needed rest. A calm, swaying refuge for my battered soul the Lord had given me.
...Sweet Spirit rule over my soul…
Tears swelled from my eyes; how can I not know till now the He was still there when I thought He had left me at the time when I abandoned Him. His truth provided me comfort. Knowing He was there, I didn’t struggle; there was no need to tremble, no need to fear. His Sweet Spirit like a gentle soft breeze passed through and into my heart, carrying my anxieties away. Driving my fears away as if they were non-existent. And yes they were. Something within me heard a reassuring word, a tender whisper that everything will be alright; my spirit heeded. Warm tears rolled like streams from a grateful heart. For a couple of days, I didn’t know how many, I wondered, I wished that I may find rest. Now it was given to me.
….My rest is complete
As I sit at Your feet
Sweet Spirit rule over my soul
Rest, what a lovely word; it fell like rain in the dry and thirsty soil of my soul. Its gentle outpouring was telling me that the Comforter had arrived; I closed my eyes to feel my heartbeat slowed. It was calmed. Just like the other storms Jesus had silenced, my storm was quieted. I knew my ordeal was not yet over but it had to start from somewhere. It began here, and Him by my side. He reassured me that I will not journey alone unaccompanied but He held my hand tightly and promised not to let go.
Notes
1. The song Rule Over My Soul from Renewal 1955 by Hope Publishing Co. © 1927.
But none says, ’Where is God my Maker, who gives songs in the night, who teaches us more than the beasts of the earth, and makes us wiser than the birds in the air?’ Job 35:10-11 (RSV)
I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search. Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more.
Psalms 77:6-7 (KJV)
Rule over my soul
Rule over my soul
Sweet Spirit rule over my soul
My rest is complete
As I sit at Your feet
Sweet Spirit rule over my soul 1
How can I forget this song? How can I not express my deepest appreciation to God? This song always softens my heart, not even the façade I drape around myself can prevent it from seeping through the arteries of my system into the wash basin of my soul. Maybe because tears soaked the very words of this song, wrinkling my very being, touching my heart, then easing my pain.
My eyes were weary, open and heavy, black circles bordered my orbits; I haven’t been able to sleep for several nights. I could not remember how many but it seemed like an eternity. Every night at that period of time, alone, I was counting the hours by minutes, the second’s hand of the clock moved as if in slow motion. I was agitated at first but as the nights dived even deeper I became a little bit worried. I can’t understand why I can’t sleep or even feel a little sleepy. As the wee hours of the mornings brought the cold air in, I was always panicking. I tossed and turned in my bed; in the dark, I stole a few glances at the clock hoping that I caught a few naps, but knew I didn’t.
These had been going on for many days or even weeks. I failed to recollect exactly the number but this was one of the worse that had happened to me or not the worst. By mornings, I was very tired but still sleep was elusive. I often asked myself why of the many people I was the one deprived. Taxed and irritated, I did my usual routines.
There was an instance at the height of my predicament, when I strolled the city one night, observing several homeless people sleeping in the streets with just cardboards on their backs, open sky above their heads and under the mercy of the elements. How soundly they were sleeping. When I returned home I never stopped wondering.
“Why can’t I sleep like them?"
My eyes were sore and heavy. Beating a little faster, my heart fluttered irregularly, it pained me every time it did. Thoughts came to me, many and checkered. An idea that seemed plausible, and practical: ‘why not find songs that can calm me down’. Usually before when insomnia attacked me, listening to music was one of the remedies I used to redeem the sleeping hours lost. I searched through that night, on cabinets, boards, folders for that familiar old, frayed Christian Song book that I had frequently dismissing.
Having found it, I skimmed for some recognizable songs I previously sang to memory. A few songs were forcibly sung, still my confounded spirit cannot find peace; rest was avoiding me. It was still raging stirred by the unknown.
That night was deathly silent but the roars from within frightened me. I cried to the Lord for relief. I prayed. And prayed a little more. I prayed fervently for I know that this was not the usual insomnia, this was different. This was something else. Indeed it was, moreover, it was spiritual by nature.
As if Someone had led my eyes to that quaint, beloved song I loved to hum when I first met the Lord, when I first accepted Him as my Savior and Lord. It was an answer to my desperate plea. The Lord heard me. Looking for an appropriate song for peace to still my heart, He led me right to it.
Rule over my soul
Rule over my soul…
That was what I wanted all along, Someone to rule over my soul. Tired and weary, I knew I failed in ruling my life, much more my deviant soul. It needed Someone; the One who made me and wanted to take control of my life. I knew it was time to hand Him the reins. I was worn-out running my own. It had been in a cataclysm and it needed rest. A calm, swaying refuge for my battered soul the Lord had given me.
...Sweet Spirit rule over my soul…
Tears swelled from my eyes; how can I not know till now the He was still there when I thought He had left me at the time when I abandoned Him. His truth provided me comfort. Knowing He was there, I didn’t struggle; there was no need to tremble, no need to fear. His Sweet Spirit like a gentle soft breeze passed through and into my heart, carrying my anxieties away. Driving my fears away as if they were non-existent. And yes they were. Something within me heard a reassuring word, a tender whisper that everything will be alright; my spirit heeded. Warm tears rolled like streams from a grateful heart. For a couple of days, I didn’t know how many, I wondered, I wished that I may find rest. Now it was given to me.
….My rest is complete
As I sit at Your feet
Sweet Spirit rule over my soul
Rest, what a lovely word; it fell like rain in the dry and thirsty soil of my soul. Its gentle outpouring was telling me that the Comforter had arrived; I closed my eyes to feel my heartbeat slowed. It was calmed. Just like the other storms Jesus had silenced, my storm was quieted. I knew my ordeal was not yet over but it had to start from somewhere. It began here, and Him by my side. He reassured me that I will not journey alone unaccompanied but He held my hand tightly and promised not to let go.
Notes
1. The song Rule Over My Soul from Renewal 1955 by Hope Publishing Co. © 1927.
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You will not journey alone...amen!