Abuse of powers

[gmfme57]

This is difficult and I may be being paranoid and a little over sensitive (my wife says this of me). There is a very powerful and senior man within our church who I feel is far too friendly with my wife, when we arrive at church or at any meeting where our paths cross he makes straight for us and is way too touchy feeley with my wife, laughing and joking and the like, and recently he has made a point of sitting next to her at prayers. I have not said anything because my wife would be mortified and he has many, many friends within our church. Should I approach him and voice my concerns?

Have you spoken to your wife about how you feel? Thats what i would do.

 

[SecondHandHippie]

The biblical approach is to bring another believer or two in as a witness between the two of you and have this conversation yet again. If it's hard to say it, write it down ahead of time and read it out to him. It sounds like outside counseling for you and your wife may be in order too if she is ok with his advances.

 

[Sherril]

I have spoken to this man more than once, he assures me that he is just being friendly and has always been a 'touchy feely' type of person. My reply to this was that I feel uneasy about his closeness to my wife, both physically and emotionally, it seems to have no effect on him. He is indeed a pastor at our church and is very well thought of so I feel very awkward confronting him again. I pray constantly that he will transfer his feelings away from my wife, my prayers have up to now gone unanswered.

Trustwinsout brother man this concerns me all that your going through.......a few years ago and im 63 now we went to a local church for a work job and the baptist head pastor grabbed and hugged me like i was his...i felt slimmed my husband was standing right by me....i asked my husband why did he not say something to this man im telling you it was not right....the pastor is a outgoing hugging kind of person as so am i but i believe in boundaries.....for the most part i believe a man should not give hugs chest to chest...unless maybe family...but i felt sick in my spirit and i was grieved, even another time we were by him i was very careful not to get to close in his space...my tender touches are for my husband not someone slimming me if his intents were pure why did i feel sickened and slimmed....This man you speak of seems to disrespect you as the husband and not understanding it is not good for a man to touch a women as the bible says....and to abstain from all appearances of evil as the bible says....and give no place to the devil as the bible says....this seemingly mild poss. flirting is not right....i would pray your wife honors you and keeps boundaries and pulls back to show this man she is not his.....God bless you as God leads you in this matter....ps it does not matter if he is high up in the church..... (Boundaries are Godly...why is your wife letting this happen if i were her i would tell this man to back off nicely ...........love in Christ Sherril....

 

[Hallmark04]

An affair always starts in the mind first.....

A very large church, just recently, was rocked to it's core when their "rock star" pastor resigned for sexual misconduct. The leadership had averted their eyes and refused to hold this man accountable even so far as to telling the women they were wrong.

We ALL are sinners and simply because a person is well liked or well known does not make that person immune to sin.

As the husband and leader of your family, and with this man's unwillingness to hear your concerns as well as your feeling isolated because of the cliquish leadership, to make your marriage the priority, perhaps finding another church might be the answer.

It is concerning that you stated that your wife likes the attention. As her husband, this speaks volumes.

Your eyes are wide open and obviously you feel somehting is wrong in your spirit which is like the Holy Spirit prompting you.

You are wise to be concerned. Be in prayer and be the strong leader your wife needs.

Praying for you!!

 

[Locoponydirtman]

I would look him straight in the eye and say, you are far too familiar with my wife and this is the end of it. Make sure you put yourself between him and your wife when you do it.

Thank you for your kind advice. I have already spoken to my wife and to be honest I think she's a flattered by this man's attention, he is a very charismatic man, a person who is always the centre of attention and liked by most. But saying all that there has has been something bout him that is not quite right so I think I need to approach this person man to man and explain my feelings. God bless you all.

No explanation and no feelings. Feelings are stupid and don't matter. Straight forward. This is the end of it! Don't even look her way again. If you see us coming check your shoe shine.
I don't care how much these people are drawn in by your deception. You're a wolf in sheep's clothes now beat feet.