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When I was 13, I got involved with church. It was right after my mother had gotten lung cancer, I had gotten saved, and then she was healed. I started singing in the choir, joined the church, got baptized, served on the drama team, gave devotions in youth group, and a lot of other stuff, I just don't want to bore you. I was 13 and my parents were not Christians. I rode the church van home from church every Sunday and Wednesday. After I got comfortable and settled into church, I noticed my youth director letting me go home last on the church van and choosing me to be in leadership positions over the rest of the youth. Some of the youth got mad and left our church. It was very evident, I just didn't understand why he chose me. But after a few rides on the church van, I figured out why. He didn't like me for my personality or even my Christ like attitude. He was going down a path that would hurt me more than I ever realized. That began the three years that I was sexually abused. I was threatened with his status in the community and as a new Christian, I thought that everyone's salvation that he had lead to Christ would be thrown down the drain and it wouldn't matter. For three years I thought I was holding the community's salvation in my hands. He was a basketball coach who took the team to state and he was wonderful in the community, but behind his mask, was somebody that only I seen. I played it off like nothing was going on. Defense mechanisms set up in me like I dont understand and probably never will. I was lost and confused. I finally told my boyfriend which was probably the hardest thing I had to do up until that point. I was an only child, my original parents were still married and life was great.....up until I got abused. It was not a one time thing. Every church ride home for 3 years became an abuse session. It took me 2 years after the abuse to realize that I didn't do anything wrong and that God loves me. I finally told and it has been a year that it has been out of court. I am not going to say I was never angry that it happened, but God has opened a lot of doors for me to help other people with this issue. It has made me a lot stronger person. I still go to the same church because I don't want to run away from issues when they arise. God has taught me a lot and I am to the point where I am thankful for God using this situation for great things. I am to the point that I am glad I can help others through it. Thank you Lord for Your deliverance and Your daily strength as I have recovered. If there is anyone out there going through this or have a question or haven't healed from a former abuse, please feel free to message me on here. I know that some of you have read this, but for some reason, God told me to share it again! God Bless y'all!
I have been through all the stages of grief, but I have done them in a healthy manner. I have been able to help a lot of others through this. I am really glad that I have been able to keep God by my side through all of this! It has been a true blessing to learn to truly learn forgiveness and the way that God walks in love. Blessings to all of you!
