Advice for young adult in relationship

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
T

Tabgirl15

Guest
#1
#1
My boyfriend and I have been off and on for about two years. He doesn't have that strong of a religious faith as I do. He will go to church with me and maybe pray when he needs something but that's as far as it will go. I have a firm believe in waiting until marriage for sex, but he has already done it with a couple other people before we starting dating (although he regrets it) and also talks about us having sex. I have to constantly tell him No and stop when he tries to advance to far. What are your opinions on sex before marriage and do you have any advice for my relationship or what I can talk to him about to help him be okay with this?
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#2
#2
He must regret the women chosen and not the act if he's bringing up the subject with you. He doesn't respect you. I was in the same position when younger and gave in.. He was a total jerk afterwards
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#3
#3
Tabgirl15 said:
My boyfriend and I have been off and on for about two years. He doesn't have that strong of a religious faith as I do. He will go to church with me and maybe pray when he needs something but that's as far as it will go. I have a firm believe in waiting until marriage for sex, but he has already done it with a couple other people before we starting dating (although he regrets it) and also talks about us having sex. I have to constantly tell him No and stop when he tries to advance to far. What are your opinions on sex before marriage and do you have any advice for my relationship or what I can talk to him about to help him be okay with this?
Click to expand...

I wouldn't normally post in this forum but before someone else jumps in here and tells you you are evil,a horrible sinner and hell bound {we have a member doing that on every thread} I want to just ask a simple question. When you do marry do want to have children? And if you do do you want them raised in church? Wouldn't you rather your future husband go to church with you and your children? Or would you rather have to go alone? Just think on that for a minute. When hard times come in life would you rather have a husband that believes in God as you do? You dont want to live with the guilt of making a mistake and having sex before marriage. If this isn't the man you see your future with you need to let him go. You dont want the guilt of making this mistake. Your boyfriend seems immature and it seems you are walking different paths. I know you dont want to hear it,but it may be best to let him go.

 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#4
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#4
Considering that he is always pushing you for sex, and even tries to take it further, says that he is NO GOOD for you. Dump him like a hot potato and wait for the guy that GOD has in mind for you..

Premarital sex is a sin, and you WILL regret it if you do it. (No pun intended).
 
laura_charlotte

laura_charlotte

Senior Member
#5
Dec 16, 2012
1,483
114
63
#5
Tabgirl15 said:
and also talks about us having sex. I have to constantly tell him No and stop when he tries to advance to far. What are your opinions on sex before marriage and do you have any advice for my relationship or what I can talk to him about to help him be okay with this?
Click to expand...

It is absolutely not your job to 'help him be ok' with anything. As a Christian, you need to start standing up for your beliefs according to God's word, and, subsequently, only inviting those into your life with the same values. If they're not ok with this or worse still, attempt to persuade you to do things that aren't true to who you are in God's eyes, you need to walk away.

One of the common themes that I've observed in women's posts in these forums is the issue of subservience. The day that a man pressures you to do anything is the moment he stops being a man. Sex is a beautiful thing between a man and a woman who are married. Your body is a temple and saving your virginity for the guy God has for you is one of the best gifts you can give when you start your life together.

The person God has for you in the future will exhibit none of the qualities you described and encourage you to walk further with Christ in your actions daily - pursue this - nothing less.
 
GOP

GOP

Senior Member
#6
Jul 12, 2015
1,668
91
48
#6
If your boyfriend really love you, sex will not be an issue for him. He will wait until you people get married. Love is not about having sex. Love is loving someone with his limitation and respecting him/her and helping him/her according to the WORD of GOD. This is just a trial for you my sister, so don't fell into it. Look, he has already have sex with other ladies and lift them. This clearly shows that he is out for something else. If he is out for marry, let him love you without having sex with you until marry.

Tabgirl15 said:
My boyfriend and I have been off and on for about two years. He doesn't have that strong of a religious faith as I do. He will go to church with me and maybe pray when he needs something but that's as far as it will go. I have a firm believe in waiting until marriage for sex, but he has already done it with a couple other people before we starting dating (although he regrets it) and also talks about us having sex. I have to constantly tell him No and stop when he tries to advance to far. What are your opinions on sex before marriage and do you have any advice for my relationship or what I can talk to him about to help him be okay with this?
Click to expand...
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#7
#7
I'm having far less trouble with the fact that he's had sex with other girls before than the fact that he's wanting it from you now. The past is past...but he obviously doesn't respect you very much if he's pushing you to go against your convictions. Do you always want to be the one standing alone? Do you want a partner who upholds your decisions, or one who tries to undermine them?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
Tabgirl15 said:
My boyfriend and I have been off and on for about two years. He doesn't have that strong of a religious faith as I do. He will go to church with me and maybe pray when he needs something but that's as far as it will go. I have a firm believe in waiting until marriage for sex, but he has already done it with a couple other people before we starting dating (although he regrets it) and also talks about us having sex. I have to constantly tell him No and stop when he tries to advance to far. What are your opinions on sex before marriage and do you have any advice for my relationship or what I can talk to him about to help him be okay with this?
Click to expand...
Yeah. Ditch him. He clearly doesn't love or respect you enough to honor your standards. And if you think this is the only area he will be this way you're kidding yourself.
Also if your relationship is that unstable then there's another area that's a huge red flag.
Lastly he's not an actual Christian. He uses religion when it suits him.
There are three giant red flags waving and snacking you in the face with their obviousness. If you want to end up hurt and regretting your life, stay with him. If you want a chance at a real life, ditch that selfish boy.
 
C

Clementine13

Member
#9
May 28, 2017
65
4
0
#9
I believe that if you love someone and are 100% sure you're going to be with them forever, then that IS what marriage is. The Bible never tells you that marriage is a legal binding of your taxes or estates. You define marriage. So you both decide together on what you want to do, just remember God is always there to guide you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.