Advice/Insight Wanted

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MesMom

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I have been divorced for over a year. I have a 4 year old son. My fear, each time he visits his father, is what he will be exposed to and his safety. When I say exposed, I am specifically referring to pornography and women he is dating... Also, his father never paid attention to his safety when we were together. I am so scared to what might happen to my son.

I am really struggling with the deep rooted "knowing" that one day, his father will hurt him. Not physically, but emotionally. All these things are out of my control, I know. I have tried so hard to let it go, but it's embedded so deeply.

Right after I left my husband, I surrendered my son to God. Knowing he is His son more than mine, and that God loves him more than I do. But I am still just struggling so hard with my dilemma above.

It was my choice to get a divorce. I know that comes with implications... but my son deserves so much more. And I feel each time I send him to see his father, I am letting him down because I am knowingly sending him to an unsafe and UnGodly environment. Please Help me wrap my brain, heart and/or spirit around this!!!
 
MesMom said:
I have been divorced for over a year. I have a 4 year old son. My fear, each time he visits his father, is what he will be exposed to and his safety. When I say exposed, I am specifically referring to pornography and women he is dating... Also, his father never paid attention to his safety when we were together. I am so scared to what might happen to my son.

I am really struggling with the deep rooted "knowing" that one day, his father will hurt him. Not physically, but emotionally. All these things are out of my control, I know. I have tried so hard to let it go, but it's embedded so deeply.

Right after I left my husband, I surrendered my son to God. Knowing he is His son more than mine, and that God loves him more than I do. But I am still just struggling so hard with my dilemma above.

him to see his father, I am letting him down because I am knowingly sending him to an unsafe and UnGodly environment. Please Help me wrap my brain, heart and/or spirit around this!!!
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I have no wisdom to offer you above what you already obviously know. I pray that God will plant the words I've highlighted more deeply into your heart and give you His peace. I pray also for your son and God's intervention with regard to his father.
 
I will begin praying that the Peace of God, which passes all understanding, will begin to flow thru you. I will also pray that your husband will come to the Lord. With God, ALL things are possible.
 
Right after I left my husband, I surrendered my son to God. Knowing he is His son more than mine, and that God loves him more than I do. But I am still just struggling so hard with my dilemma above.
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It sounds to me like you need a refresher course in 'God 101'. "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27) "...Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

If you have truly placed your son in God's hands, relax. He will take care of it. "But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord." (James 1:6)

If you can convince yourself that God is in total control, you will not have to worry about your son.

God be with you, and him.
 
Help your son by strengthening his love of Jesus - give him the tools NOW to find God in the moments he needs it most. If your son is able to see your strength in our father, he will too. We will pray for you and your Son.
 
Psalm 139:13-16 New Living Translation (NLT)


13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

Jeremiah 29:11 New Living Translation (NLT)


11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.



Both these scriptures always help me when think about life and the choices I've made. I can look back at some of the most devastating times in my life and I can see Gods hand. Even when I really know who he was. After putting that into perspective, I can look at my children in a new light. Yes some of the decisions I made have caused my children some challenges, but My God is able to use all those things to work his plan in their lives. They like us have a journey, and no matter how we try we can not control that Journey. Rest in Gods Plan and know that one thing for sure is that you are suppose to be his mom and no matter how you feel about his dad, God choose hi, for your son. Your job stay close to God, Let your son see his glory in your life. Sit back and watch God Work.
Romans 8:28 New Living Translation (NLT)

28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
 
Speaking from the place of one who was exposed to pornography from birth at the hands my father. You do need to trust God, but you also need to set some boundaries to protect your son from exposure. Don't forsake Godly wisdom for "trusting" in God. They do exist on the same plane.
 
dmdave17 said:
It sounds to me like you need a refresher course in 'God 101'. "I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" (Jeremiah 32:27) "...Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

If you have truly placed your son in God's hands, relax. He will take care of it. "But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord." (James 1:6)

If you can convince yourself that God is in total control, you will not have to worry about your son.

God be with you, and him.
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How we face it depends upon the type of fear it is, and perhaps we do it differently.

My greatest fear I would have to say would be something happening to my son. The day he got his license was one of the worst days of my llife. :) But, it has become easier over time because of God's perfect love, because I know some things:

- God loves my son even more than I am capable of
- My son belongs to GOD, not me
- Nothing is going to happen to my son that God doesn't already know about and has made provision for
- No matter what happens, God will ultimately use it for good in my son's life

Regarding other things that are not as scary to me, even facing death, I know that I know that I know I belong to Him. I know that He orders my steps and nothing is going to happen to me that He can't hande. HE is perfect love and HIS perfect love has made provisions for every difficulty we might face and He has PROMISED to be with us through it all. If we trust Him in this, we are victorious.

So, for me, at those moments, my thought is, "God's got this". Unless, of course, we won't let him have it

You are completely right! I know that in my head, but I am having the biggest struggle absorbing this in my heart. I keep praying and asking how to bridge the two. THANK YOU!
 
Thank you for all the posts thus far... I am very thankful for your insights and scripture verses. You have all been enormously helpful.

I haven't got the quote in reply down... otherwise I would respond individually.
 
MesMom said:
Thank you for all the posts thus far... I am very thankful for your insights and scripture verses. You have all been enormously helpful.

I haven't got the quote in reply down... otherwise I would respond individually.
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Hi

One effective way is to start teaching your son about God and His Word on right and wrong. Spend time reading the Bible with him, help him see what God loves and what God hates (sin, evil etc). Allow the Holy Spirit (our greatest teacher) to minister the Word in him. Do it regularly. This is probably your best defense.

I draft a monthly daily reading schedule for everyone in my family. Nothing difficult or serious, just a chapter or 2 each day. Not compulsory but I highly encourage everyone to read (in addition to what they are doing on their own). MORE IMPORTANTLY, when we have lunch/dinner, I make an attempt to share some stories about those chapters which they are reading. Often times, you can tell by their faces that they did not read. It's fine, no condemnation. I simply encourage them to read, perhaps take 5 or 10 mins after dinner and read. I try to motivate and excite them the Word of God. (And there are many stories we can use, old and new testament.)

As for meeting his dad, before you release him, lay hands on him and pray that the spirit of holiness will guide him and protect him. Trust God that in your absence (when he's with his dad), his Holy Spirit and Holy angels will be in full force for your son!

PRESS ON


powerful way is to start teaching your son about the thing
 
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