Afraid and unhappy

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smitc

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I'm new to this whole online chatting thing... but I am just going through so much right now. I'm too tired to even talk to friends, so I figure maybe this will be of some help. Recently my husband of 3 years decides I'm not what he wants. He just wants to be alone, and he's not even sure if he every should have married me. Sounds tought, right. To add, we've known each other for 11 years and dated for about 7 before getting married. We've been though so much together and well I was quite ill when he proposed. He is realizing that he was obsessed with me at that time because he didnt want to loose me....now that I'm healthy- I seem to not be as important. Its taken its toll on me because I am truly in love with this person who cares so little for me. daily i see how much he seems to care less and less and I try to be the wife I should be, but I'm really not handling this too well. I'm so alone and afraid...and my best friend who was my husband is not available to be there for me.

Just pray...please and thanks.

I dont believe in divorce but he doesnt want this marriage.
 
Hi smitc,
This is tough place to be in! However, considering his reaction when you were sick, I think he really is in love with you. There are so many other things active in our lives that he may be just confused about something else. You two have a lot invested together and I will pray that things will work out for you both.

Sometimes, people think they just need a change...and they may think if they changed spouses, or were single again, that that would fix everything. Well it doesn't. Changing partners just means you start all over again and still have the same problems. Being alone can get very lonely.

Maybe he just needs to mature some? I would suggest talking it out with him as much as possible. He may be his own worst enemy and do something that is irrational and harmful to himself and to you...when all along he really does love you.

Would going to a counselor help? Would he go?

Praying for strength and guidance for you :)
 
Pray and ask God for wisdom...I did this when things got rough in my marriage.
God's wisdom is perfect, He knows your husbands heart.
When you recieve God's wisdom it might seem silly...fallow it anyway.
It will be a blessing...I will pray for you both too.
May God bless you and keep you both!
In His service, Shekaniah
 
I have been through situations not exactly like this but similar. I will pray for you. He will realize that he loves you.
 
Praying for you both in Jesus Christ is Lord.
For His healing and love to fill your marraige.

Hugs and God bless
pickles
 
I'll pray for you and your husband.

Just try your best and work on your relationship. The most important thing is that you can communicate with each other. That he can tell you why he feels this way. If you cannot than perhaps a marrige counsoular such as the one Lucy68 gave advice about can be an option.

I am so sad to hear that you love him so deeply and that he was your friend and now he seems uninterested. Perhaps he just have doubts and feels unsure of what he wants.

Even if a divorce is not a good thing if it is not getting better then it is no use for you to suffer in a marrige that he does not want. God want you to be happy and he will understand. As he always does.

/a
 
God is with you.
It seems something caused a change in him. What has happened that caused him to change?
 
Look up the "Love Dare"....I don't have much experiance with marrage personally, but i have seen this work within my own family, and friends.
Watch the movie "Fireproof" and get the book =) maybe it will help... in the mean time, I'll be praying for ya <3
 
Thanks to you all for your prayers. I'm glad that I've decided to do this, it allows me to at least speak to someone about some of the things that I am feeling.
Our situation is very complicated, but not your typical complicated. I'm in school to become a physician assistant. I've always wanted to become a medical doctor, but after some health challenges and research i decided that become a PA would be a better option for me and a "family". Its a 2 year program, very difficult and very demanding. I'm good with balance, but I've definitely had to turn down some of the more fun activities to focus on school. We'll to add to the stress, my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor/condition that will affect him, us, for the rest of our lives. Hes had surgery, but the tumor has been resistant is is regrowing. He has radiation treatment scheduled next week. My health issues also required head surgery. I've been trying to be strong him, for us and for our relationship. I know he loves me, but he seem like he wants nothing to do with me. He's stated he does not want to be married, but I'm not sure he means it or what to do while we are suppose to "be husband and wife" and he doesnt want to be married. I understand how complicated this all is, I've fasted, prayed, ask for wisdom, patience, understanding. I know God is faithful, its all I have to hold on to.
 
smitc said:
Thanks to you all for your prayers. I'm glad that I've decided to do this, it allows me to at least speak to someone about some of the things that I am feeling.
Our situation is very complicated, but not your typical complicated. I'm in school to become a physician assistant. I've always wanted to become a medical doctor, but after some health challenges and research i decided that become a PA would be a better option for me and a "family". Its a 2 year program, very difficult and very demanding. I'm good with balance, but I've definitely had to turn down some of the more fun activities to focus on school. We'll to add to the stress, my husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor/condition that will affect him, us, for the rest of our lives. Hes had surgery, but the tumor has been resistant is is regrowing. He has radiation treatment scheduled next week. My health issues also required head surgery. I've been trying to be strong him, for us and for our relationship. I know he loves me, but he seem like he wants nothing to do with me. He's stated he does not want to be married, but I'm not sure he means it or what to do while we are suppose to "be husband and wife" and he doesnt want to be married. I understand how complicated this all is, I've fasted, prayed, ask for wisdom, patience, understanding. I know God is faithful, its all I have to hold on to.
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Wow, you're both going through a tough time. He's under a lot of stress, so should you really think he means what he says? Especially with a brain tumor. These can definitely affect a person's thinking. Don't do anything right away except get through these treatments and try to support each through the stress. That's one purpose of being 'married'...you help each other carry the load. You may have to be the stronger of the two.

I'll be praying for you both to be completely healed soon so you can go on with your lives, and for continued strength from the Holy Spirit. Be sure to open the Bible for a daily dose of wisdom and endurance :)
 
May the Lord place people in both your lives to give you wisdom from above...
May He bless you both and give you understanding and His perfect Love!
In Jesus Name, Amen
 
LORD GOD i pray for smitc,i lift her up to you father.I pray for her to receive your wisdom,and also her husband to receive your wisdom.Father you want good for us,let your love come into his heart so that he will realize now, rather than later what is the right thing to do.I pray father that you give smitc peace in this storm.let this be a smooth transition for her.in JESUS name .....amen
 
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