All About Sex?

[Prisca]

The Lord has been really helping me ever since my first blog post on depression. I feel at peace and at ease. All I need prayer with is to focus on Him and not worry about guys right now in my life. There have been great Christian men who have approached me and expressed interest in me... the only problem is that it seems like no matter what, the conversation somehow trails off to a sex-related topic... and this makes me question is this all Christian men-Godly men talk about with Christian women??? I know that statement is not true, but I feel really annoyed.. I just want a guy who will lead me to the Lord and leave the sex talk for marriage ya know?

Like I said, just pray for me to continue guarding my heart and pray also for discernment... thank you in advance.

 

[Guest]

I think it's kinda weird so many Christian men do this (maybe it's a phenomenon that is happening more in the US than other countries). What exactly do you mean by sex-related topics? Things like sex before marriage and all that?

 

[Joidevivre]

Aren't you already with the Lord? What do you mean "lead you to the Lord?"

 

[GracefulT]

The Steps of a good man will forever be ordered by the Lord.

 

[Prisca]

I think it's kinda weird so many Christian men do this (maybe it's a phenomenon that is happening more in the US than other countries). What exactly do you mean by sex-related topics? Things like sex before marriage and all that?

Well first they ask if I'm a Virgin which I tell them I rather not respond and then just into things like ,"What turns You on?" "Would You do oral?" "Have far have You gone in your past relationships?" Sometimes they "compliment" me with crude or inappropriate sayings. One time, I was told what a guy would do to me if he
Were here with me... all kinds of stuff like that. I just feel like that shouldn't even be in our conversations.

 

[Prisca]

Aren't you already with the Lord? What do you mean "lead you to the Lord?"

Oh sorry for the confusion. I am with the Lord. I mean that I want a Man to direct me to God rather than sin. Something edifying rather than destroying if that makes any more sense.

 

[Joidevivre]

The Holy Spirit keeps your eyes on Jesus. Not a man. What you want to look for is a man who loves Jesus and serves him.

You just haven't met enough guys in the right place. My kids never had the trouble you mention. Try to meet them in church related activities - not the work place if that helps.

 

[Prisca]

The Holy Spirit keeps your eyes on Jesus. Not a man. What you want to look for is a man who loves Jesus and serves him.

You just haven't met enough guys in the right place. My kids never had the trouble you mention. Try to meet them in church related activities - not the work place if that helps.

Yes the Holy Spirit does keep our eyes on Christ, but what I'm trying to say is that the man should help do that as well while getting to know the woman you know?

You're also right about where to meet men. The guys that I'm referring to are men from online mostly (a few in person) on Christian websites where I'm trying to learn and fellowship with other believers such as this site. I hesitate sometimes to even respond to guys who private message me in chat rooms.

 

[goodwill]

I think you need to just pray and ask God for the man he would have for you. In my experience with dating sites, a lot of men are looking for sex. You want someone that is equally yoked with you. A man that not only believes in God but lives according to his word.

 

[Prisca]

I think you need to just pray and ask God for the man he would have for you. In my experience with dating sites, a lot of men are looking for sex. You want someone that is equally yoked with you. A man that not only believes in God but lives according to his word.

Amen to that. That's Exactly what I'm talking about.

 

[Guest]

Well first they ask if I'm a Virgin which I tell them I rather not respond and then just into things like ,"What turns You on?" "Would You do oral?" "Have far have You gone in your past relationships?" Sometimes they "compliment" me with crude or inappropriate sayings. One time, I was told what a guy would do to me if he
Were here with me... all kinds of stuff like that. I just feel like that shouldn't even be in our conversations.

Those last two questions you mentioned are totally inappropriate and should never be asked by someone who calls himself a Christian. I feel sorry for you that you have had so many bad experiences with Christian men. There are still some good guys out there, don't give up, you're still very young. I think the reason why they ask whether you're a virgin or not is because they don't want to marry someone who is not a virgin - which sounds reasonable to me - but indeed it remains a weird question to ask when you basically just met.

 

[Prisca]

Those last two questions you mentioned are totally inappropriate and should never be asked by someone who calls himself a Christian. I feel sorry for you that you have had so many bad experiences with Christian men. There are still some good guys out there, don't give up, you're still very young. I think the reason why they ask whether you're a virgin or not is because they don't want to marry someone who is not a virgin - which sounds reasonable to me - but indeed it remains a weird question to ask when you basically just met.

Exactly. I'm still hopeful, but for right now, I'm content Lol I'm just saying that I wish I had decent conversation with guys and never a sexual topic with someone I'm getting o now first as a friend ya know? Tonight I had a Bible study and we were talking about in Ephesians 5 how we should speak with one another and just to be careful with the tongue you know?

 

[slave]

I love that you are seeking a Godly-man and I pray for it to come to fruition. It is good, too, to keep an understanding, under your belt, of a man's needs in perspective, as a Godly man enters into the picture, and the relationship begins. In saying this I am, in no way, suggesting to give into a man sexually before marriage, for a true man of God will abstain from that behavior with the fruit of self-control found in him thru Christ. Yet, it is good not to be disappointed in him based simply on his desire for sex [not referencing inappropriate behavior].

Men simply want more sex. Everyone's response to this is probably "Duh!" but that response is probably for the wrong reason. We primarily assume that men want more sex than their wives due to their wiring [their "needs"]. And I know there are some woman that love it even more, but that's not my point at the moment. Surprisingly, research has shown that the reason men want more sex is because of their strong need to be desired by their wives. And all the men reading this said, "Amen!" Men simply need to be wanted. So, in lew of your situation of not yet married it is helpful to note that mens interests are not all hormonal lusts in way of the subject of sex. "Connection" is the loudest voice in it.

If you know this and simply apply it in way of support, you can simply be honest with him about your uncomfortableness of the subject brought up, but that you understand his needs. Then, both of you can be at peace and move on. Take time to then listen to his response to you about that. Then you can see if he is a man of God or not. I hope this suggestion was helpful to some extent. God bless, and I will be in prayer for both of you. Somewhere there is a man working hard praying for God to make him what you want.!!

 

[Prisca]

I love that you are seeking a Godly-man and I pray for it to come to fruition. It is good, too, to keep an understanding, under your belt, of a man's needs in perspective, as a Godly man enters into the picture, and the relationship begins. In saying this I am, in no way, suggesting to give into a man sexually before marriage, for a true man of God will abstain from that behavior with the fruit of self-control found in him thru Christ. Yet, it is good not to be disappointed in him based simply on his desire for sex [not referencing inappropriate behavior].

Men simply want more sex. Everyone's response to this is probably "Duh!" but that response is probably for the wrong reason. We primarily assume that men want more sex than their wives due to their wiring [their "needs"]. And I know there are some woman that love it even more, but that's not my point at the moment. Surprisingly, research has shown that the reason men want more sex is because of their strong need to be desired by their wives. And all the men reading this said, "Amen!" Men simply need to be wanted. So, in lew of your situation of not yet married it is helpful to note that mens interests are not all hormonal lusts in way of the subject of sex. "Connection" is the loudest voice in it.

If you know this and simply apply it in way of support, you can simply be honest with him about your uncomfortableness of the subject brought up, but that you understand his needs. Then, both of you can be at peace and move on. Take time to then listen to his response to you about that. Then you can see if he is a man of God or not. I hope this suggestion was helpful to some extent. God bless, and I will be in prayer for both of you. Somewhere there is a man working hard praying for God to make him what you want.!!

Awesome response! Lol it makes a lot of sense, but You are right. I shouldn't just write him off. I am very vocal about that tI pic making me uncomfortable, but sometimes, that seems to be more of a turn on to guys. I don't get it. I do seek a Godly man, but At his time, I don't even want to think about relationships until the Lord shows me when that time is.

 

[slave]

I would also say, remember to pray without doubting, and pray expecting. This starts by praising the Lord for what He will do. Instead of, "all men are sex driven dogs, why God are they all dogs?!!" Smile, I admit I over stated that, but you get the example, Turns to, " Thank you God for letting the five left in the world that love you first to receive my name from you." oops almost faithful enough, let's go all out! "Lord, I have a need. I want to have a man of God in my life. I will not allow a man that shows me he is not focused in righteousness or holiness to waist my time and from this commitment Lord I am afraid of not knowing if any man is that committed. But Father I will trust in you to deliver that man to me. I ask that you raise him out of the hay stack, as it were and let me find him, open the door Lord and give me my hearts desire...I pray this and thank you for it in Christ's name ..Amen!"

In the same praise tone pray for your schooling, you house situation, your food supplies , your all in all. EXPECT and be always praise worthy for your position in Christ starts from victory, not ends in it! My heart goes out!

 

[Prisca]

I would also say, remember to pray without doubting, and pray expecting. This starts by praising the Lord for what He will do. Instead of, "all men are sex driven dogs, why God are they all dogs?!!" Smile, I admit I over stated that, but you get the example, Turns to, " Thank you God for letting the five left in the world that love you first to receive my name from you." oops almost faithful enough, let's go all out! "Lord, I have a need. I want to have a man of God in my life. I will not allow a man that shows me he is not focused in righteousness or holiness to waist my time and from this commitment Lord I am afraid of not knowing if any man is that committed. But Father I will trust in you to deliver that man to me. I ask that you raise him out of the hay stack, as it were and let me find him, open the door Lord and give me my hearts desire...I pray this and thank you for it in Christ's name ..Amen!"

In the same praise tone pray for your schooling, you house situation, your food supplies , your all in all. EXPECT and be always praise worthy for your position in Christ starts from victory, not ends in it! My heart goes out!

Awwww thank you so much! God bless! Absolutely!

 

[Morty7]

I think you right i do think sex should not even be talk about at all outside of marriage but with this culture more and more people think it is okay because he or she is doing it, then it will be like this. To me it get very annoying, and I be like will you shush lol. Overall i think it should be about personalities and soul of a person what counts.