Am confused

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Peter321

Guest
#1
#1
Hai.

I was thinking right, i've known this girl for a few years now and i liked her from the start, but apperantly she has a boyfriend for 4 years now.
She is a christian, goes to the same church as i do, her boyfriend is not and it's kind of misleading her i think.
I really like this girl and i i'm pretty sure she likes me too.
Now i don't get why this is happening, I remember God wants his children to be with eachother, so why is she still with this non-christian guy? It's not profiting her in any way to be honest..
And yes i'm young i still have my entire life in front of me i know BUT, these are still things that make me think/bother me.

So yes, does anyone have useful insight on this ;o?
 
N

Nashah

Guest
#2
#2
Greetings sir.

Yes the bible does mention how we are to not be unequally yoked. Leads to all sorts of problems....

Well if it is a burden in you then I believe you should sit her down and have a serious conversation. Bring up scripture and tell her that you are concerned for her.

But first I would test myself and make sure my motivations were pure. That I am doing this for the others well being, without any selfish thought of perhaps being with her afterwards. I know not how she will react to it but if this is the case you should at least bring it to her attention that you are worried for her.



And personally I have a set honor code where I will never ever take a girl from another guy. Though this is personal preference, feel free to ignore it if you wish
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#3
#3
Well, i'm assuming this girl is your age as well. Which means she was roughly 14 when she started dating this guy. A young and immature age, not not always prone to making wise choices, so its easy to see why she may have started dating him. But the longer you date someone the harder it becomes to separate from them. Maybe the guy isn't a Christian, but still treats her very well. How hard must the idea of walking away from someone you love and care for, who treats you well, after 4 years of being together, all centered on one concept, that he's not Christian.
See, you're looking at the situation through your emotions, and wants. And then applying logic to support it, then expecting that she should be responding in logic, not emotion. You're expecting that she should respond in logic and not emotion. Well, she's in an emotional situation (a relationship) and where emotions are involved makes it tricky to always do the right thing, or even recognize the right thing.
Personally, i'd be very cautious about approaching her about who she's dating. You obviously have a personal interest in her breaking up with him, and that interest may be obvious to others. It may be perceived as a selfish act by others, or even by her current boyfriend, if he were to find out.
Also, even if she were to leave him, there's no guarantee she'll date you. If she was in a relationship for 4 years, the last thing she needs to do is hop straight into another relationship. So you really need to think about all this.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
Can't add a word to Ugly's post. Perfect.
 
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Peter321

Guest
#5
#5
Ugly said:
Well, i'm assuming this girl is your age as well. Which means she was roughly 14 when she started dating this guy. A young and immature age, not not always prone to making wise choices, so its easy to see why she may have started dating him. But the longer you date someone the harder it becomes to separate from them. Maybe the guy isn't a Christian, but still treats her very well. How hard must the idea of walking away from someone you love and care for, who treats you well, after 4 years of being together, all centered on one concept, that he's not Christian.
See, you're looking at the situation through your emotions, and wants. And then applying logic to support it, then expecting that she should be responding in logic, not emotion. You're expecting that she should respond in logic and not emotion. Well, she's in an emotional situation (a relationship) and where emotions are involved makes it tricky to always do the right thing, or even recognize the right thing.
Personally, i'd be very cautious about approaching her about who she's dating. You obviously have a personal interest in her breaking up with him, and that interest may be obvious to others. It may be perceived as a selfish act by others, or even by her current boyfriend, if he were to find out.
Also, even if she were to leave him, there's no guarantee she'll date you. If she was in a relationship for 4 years, the last thing she needs to do is hop straight into another relationship. So you really need to think about all this.
Click to expand...
Yes that is honestly exactly how the situation is..
And i'm sorry if this is all kind of selfish :(
I guess if it is 'meant' it will all change sooner or later but all i can do is pray about it i suppose.
Thanks for your reply it was really good :)
 
P

Peter321

Guest
#6
#6
Nashah said:
Greetings sir.
But first I would test myself and make sure my motivations were pure. That I am doing this for the others well being, without any selfish thought of perhaps being with her afterwards.
Click to expand...
I can't say that's really what i was thinking, and afterwards it kind of does seem like a selfish thought of mine, i apologize for that.
It's just that i really care for her and think it's a shame she's still dating him (instead of possibly me)
I'll pray about this all and hope God puts me to the right mindset.. And if it is 'meant' then i guess i will find out along the way.
Thanks alot for your reply aswell!
 
G

GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#7
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#7
Pray for her and try to interact more as friends so you can influence her for good, but don't expect anything in return.
 
P

Peter321

Guest
#8
#8
GOD_IS_LOVE said:
Pray for her and try to interact more as friends so you can influence her for good, but don't expect anything in return.
Click to expand...
Yes i surely don't expect anything really, i can only hope :p
Usually she's the one to come to me and talk though, which is good :)
 
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