C
I was sexually abused for as long as I can remember by my next door neighbour, it ended when I was 11 yrs old, he moved away when I was 12, I grew up as an adult accepting that knowledge to be apart of me, I also knew that when I was a child I had warts down in "that area", something I vaguely remember being in hospital to get them burnt off but never thought much of it through my life,
( the only reason it stopped because mum and dad finally had a confrontation whilst he was at our front door about minor things that he had been doing to me only for him to put the blame on me),
Recently I was led to find out the truth about what happened to me as a child, so I sent away for the hospital records where I had them burnt off, which I got back only last week
It said on the hospital medical records that I was admitted in hospital at the age of 5 and a half in 1980 and that the general practioner was treating them for the last two years!!!! That means I contracted genital warts at the age of 3 and a half years old This has totally rocked my world, The fact that this happened and that no adults stood up for me, my parents the hospital, even my doctor treating them or anyone else that may have known made it a police matter then, my mother hid the truth from my dad, he was at work(My Dad never acted indecently and inappropriate towards me in that way) but he failed to ask questions of the nature of the warts and neglected to do anything at all, therefore this abuse continued without no-one caring up until I was 11,throughout those years of sexual abuse with this person I bonded with him as he was a source of comfort and somewhere to go because I had it bad at school and bad at home, ,I shouldn’t have to be blamed because I needed comfort from an adult even though this was happening to me ,I didn’t know any better but finding this out has totally unfounded my basis as I’m absolutely stoked, disgusted now disgusting in myself for the first time
It horrified me to know that I got genital warts at that age, I have a son turning four in October, I would never let my son out the front door without my supervision, how could this happen to me?? My only guess is that my mother suffered mental illness and in her state of mind at the time and the undisciplined child in her hair she would let me out the front door, and at that age I would have wondered into my next door neighbours yard where I had no understanding or caution and he could just easily pick me up, take me into his domain and do what he will with me, then finish with me then let me go, would’ve passed the warts onto my small parts. he was a married man in his late forties early fifties, this is the best way I could make sense of this i because I’m getting no answers from my parents, all I’m getting is I didn’t know or I don’t remember, I’ve had to make them own this because from my mum I get blame, I’ve finally could put the blame onto her and from my dad until previously it just got swept under the carpet ,this explains why I never loved my mother or why I never got on with her growing up because of the secrets she kept about this, she was mentally disturbed for a long time in which we grew up with, I’m dealing this the best way that I can even though I have slipped into alcohol from this, I believe that God has cried for me over this, so I am glad that he Saved me when I was 14, Praise Jesus and Praise God He Saved me back then because I don’t think I would’ve gotten Saved at a later stage in my life otherwise, I thank God for that
I have got the police involved now and have a copy of the medical records I have this feeling that he might be passed away, I heard that it can still go to trial regardless, and there is victim compensation, , I believe I’m doing the right thing for me, I and the police investigation may go on for a while but Im wondering still is it really worth it, , Its hard for me to have any respect for them at the moment, though I try, I’m distant from them and I cant be open with them also I’m concerned that I have left this too late and should have done this when I was single and more freedom and the animal that fashioned my life is dead before I could get earthly justice before God sends him to eternal fire if he didn’t repent of his sins through Jesus.
My thinking is all over the place and my heart can be in the wrong place about this and the future on this, and I am alone in this at the moment and cant trust anyone that I meet to say anything about what I am going through, I could really use prayer and what others might think
( the only reason it stopped because mum and dad finally had a confrontation whilst he was at our front door about minor things that he had been doing to me only for him to put the blame on me),
Recently I was led to find out the truth about what happened to me as a child, so I sent away for the hospital records where I had them burnt off, which I got back only last week
It said on the hospital medical records that I was admitted in hospital at the age of 5 and a half in 1980 and that the general practioner was treating them for the last two years!!!! That means I contracted genital warts at the age of 3 and a half years old This has totally rocked my world, The fact that this happened and that no adults stood up for me, my parents the hospital, even my doctor treating them or anyone else that may have known made it a police matter then, my mother hid the truth from my dad, he was at work(My Dad never acted indecently and inappropriate towards me in that way) but he failed to ask questions of the nature of the warts and neglected to do anything at all, therefore this abuse continued without no-one caring up until I was 11,throughout those years of sexual abuse with this person I bonded with him as he was a source of comfort and somewhere to go because I had it bad at school and bad at home, ,I shouldn’t have to be blamed because I needed comfort from an adult even though this was happening to me ,I didn’t know any better but finding this out has totally unfounded my basis as I’m absolutely stoked, disgusted now disgusting in myself for the first time
It horrified me to know that I got genital warts at that age, I have a son turning four in October, I would never let my son out the front door without my supervision, how could this happen to me?? My only guess is that my mother suffered mental illness and in her state of mind at the time and the undisciplined child in her hair she would let me out the front door, and at that age I would have wondered into my next door neighbours yard where I had no understanding or caution and he could just easily pick me up, take me into his domain and do what he will with me, then finish with me then let me go, would’ve passed the warts onto my small parts. he was a married man in his late forties early fifties, this is the best way I could make sense of this i because I’m getting no answers from my parents, all I’m getting is I didn’t know or I don’t remember, I’ve had to make them own this because from my mum I get blame, I’ve finally could put the blame onto her and from my dad until previously it just got swept under the carpet ,this explains why I never loved my mother or why I never got on with her growing up because of the secrets she kept about this, she was mentally disturbed for a long time in which we grew up with, I’m dealing this the best way that I can even though I have slipped into alcohol from this, I believe that God has cried for me over this, so I am glad that he Saved me when I was 14, Praise Jesus and Praise God He Saved me back then because I don’t think I would’ve gotten Saved at a later stage in my life otherwise, I thank God for that
I have got the police involved now and have a copy of the medical records I have this feeling that he might be passed away, I heard that it can still go to trial regardless, and there is victim compensation, , I believe I’m doing the right thing for me, I and the police investigation may go on for a while but Im wondering still is it really worth it, , Its hard for me to have any respect for them at the moment, though I try, I’m distant from them and I cant be open with them also I’m concerned that I have left this too late and should have done this when I was single and more freedom and the animal that fashioned my life is dead before I could get earthly justice before God sends him to eternal fire if he didn’t repent of his sins through Jesus.
My thinking is all over the place and my heart can be in the wrong place about this and the future on this, and I am alone in this at the moment and cant trust anyone that I meet to say anything about what I am going through, I could really use prayer and what others might think
Last edited:
