Hi everyone, this is my first post so I hope i do okay
Three years ago, someone dear to my family committed suicide.
I lost my father when I was 10, my sister was 7 and it did a number on her. She was there and saw him lying in his own blood, because he did it to himself; There was no counseling, so she bottled it all up , but it erupted , and then she broke down all together, it took years and many counslers, and many different medicines for her to ever get to a place of normalacy .
When this happened, Xanax was my friend everyday for months on end, it numbed me and helped me to not think about it even though I'd cry myself to sleep.
God bottles our tears and he is near to the ones who are broken hearted,
It triggered intense anxiety and depression within me. It creeps up and lately has been affecting me so badly nowadays. I was the last one of my family to see him, and heard him as he listened to a song about suicide.. yet.. I thought nothing was wrong. I feel as if I deserve to feel this awful.
Nobody deserves to feel awful, unless they truly deserve it......and you don't.
And you could not know what was on anther persons mind.
Does anyone deal with anxiety and or depression? Or have you found a way to make it "go away"? I pray, and read about it from a diverse group of Christians, but nothing seems to soothe it.
Have you tried Pristic? It is an antidepressant, pricey but good, It helped my greatly.
I also lost two friends to suicide, I knew that they were both troubled, but I had no idea that they would go to this extreme. We are not to blame for not knowing or understanding the depth of their pain, Neither are we trained to watch for it, unless we are professionals, and I doubt seriously that you are? We miss them and we love them, but we cannot take on the responsibility of their deaths. They made the choice to do what they did.
I did talk to one of them, and asked him to see a therapist, but he declined.
Thank you for taking the time to read, it's greatly appreciated!
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