Approaching teen years..........

[Godsgirl83]

My daughter will soon be 10!!!!! Hard to believe but cannot deny or change it I don't know where to start or how with her..................Everyone's advice has been "well how did your mom teach you?" Well for starters I was molested at a very young age, soooooo I was introduced to facts of life WAY BEFORE it was time. Also it doesn't help that she has learning disabilities that often makes it like dealing with a child 3-4 years younger so it's like trying to teach puberty to someone who is 6 or 7 yet experiencing physical and emotional changes of preteens. And yes, those emotional changes are starting to manifest in her. Also it doesn't help that many of her friends are early bloomers and starting to subtlety change. My world at 10yrs old and hers are as different as night and day.
Any advice and/or scriptures would be GREATLY appreciated!
Blessings!

 

[Adstar]

Bump... for the ladies..

 

[Mezame83]

Hi GG,

Argh a 10 year old DAUGHTER....scary thought! As a single mum of a 12 year old boy and an 8 year old girl i know what you're feeling. Only my eldest is a boy and i'm a female so that conversation was a little awkward to say the least but with God's grace and guidance i think i managed it pretty well...(although i think i drilled it a bit much in his head that he's not be intimate until he marries the woman God gives him-seems to be what he remembers from the convo lol)

You know what your daughter is ready to hear and learn but if she has already shown interest or awareness of older people (or even those her age) body developing maybe using that as a starting point may be an idea...for me i noticed changes in my sons behaviour, that's what prompted me to sit him down and talk.
You can be as specific with the changes her body with go through during puberty as you feel is best but i think if you have some kind of visual for her it may help explain things for her. Do you have photos of yourself at different ages? Maybe use these to show her how you changed over the years, otherwise you could draw pictures or make up a social story with the different changes that occur as separate topics for the story.
I guess just making sure she's aware of the changes that will happen and that they're normal you're on the right track. Every child is different so i'm only throwing some ideas out there.
In everything though, you're never along, we serve an everlasting Father
1 Chronicles 16:11
"Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually."
God bless you sister.

 

[Godsgirl83]

Hi GG,

Argh a 10 year old DAUGHTER....scary thought! As a single mum of a 12 year old boy and an 8 year old girl i know what you're feeling. Only my eldest is a boy and i'm a female so that conversation was a little awkward to say the least but with God's grace and guidance i think i managed it pretty well...(although i think i drilled it a bit much in his head that he's not be intimate until he marries the woman God gives him-seems to be what he remembers from the convo lol)

You know what your daughter is ready to hear and learn but if she has already shown interest or awareness of older people (or even those her age) body developing maybe using that as a starting point may be an idea...for me i noticed changes in my sons behaviour, that's what prompted me to sit him down and talk.
You can be as specific with the changes her body with go through during puberty as you feel is best but i think if you have some kind of visual for her it may help explain things for her. Do you have photos of yourself at different ages? Maybe use these to show her how you changed over the years, otherwise you could draw pictures or make up a social story with the different changes that occur as separate topics for the story.
I guess just making sure she's aware of the changes that will happen and that they're normal you're on the right track. Every child is different so i'm only throwing some ideas out there.
In everything though, you're never along, we serve an everlasting Father
1 Chronicles 16:11
"Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his face continually."
God bless you sister.

Thanks! Yeah, I have boys too, but they're a few years younger...... It's not so much physical stuff freaking me out...... well to a point ( I mean I'm about to have a teen daughter in an oversexed culture!!!!) It's all the emotional ups and downs that go with it that I'm not ready to deal with.

 

[Godsgirl83]

Bump... for the ladies..

Hey ya Adstar......
Yeah I'd LOVE to post this on the "ladies forum" only IT ISN'T GIVING ME A LINK TO THAT. I've questioned this since joining last month since reading all the replies that say "take to ladies forum" is kinda what got me on the site for starters. But no link for me I've had a member reach out to RoboOP on my behalf regarding this but have yet to hear from him or have it corrected. ANYONE ELSE WANNA TRY?
But also, not EVERYTHING has to go to ladies only. I KNOW there are strong christian dads who are somewhere on this site that have been through the whole teen girl thing who could pass along godly counsel (come out come out where ever you are) Yes, while a "men's only" and "women's only" forum are good for many things, this is after all a FAMILY forum. Shouldn't people of both genders be able to discuss FAMILY issues? After all, I don't know about boys in teen life yet, but I do know that when life happens to a girl...... it affects the WHOLE FAMILY. Besides, I've already posted something in family forum that I would have put in a ladies forum IF I HAD IT and surprisingly my overall HELPFUL responses (and private messages) came from males. I might have gotten some help from ladies in a ladies forum (IF I HAD IT) but would have missed some very insightful and helpful information that only males could provide.
Anyway I think ya'll get my point..........
Blessings!

 

[Mezame83]

Thanks! Yeah, I have boys too, but they're a few years younger...... It's not so much physical stuff freaking me out...... well to a point ( I mean I'm about to have a teen daughter in an oversexed culture!!!!) It's all the emotional ups and downs that go with it that I'm not ready to deal with.

I hear ya...the emotional side of things is more daunting then the physical. In all honesty the one thing that has helped me is prayer. Like anything life throws our way we can always be sure we can talk to God about it.
Blessings.

 

[Adstar]

Hey ya Adstar......
Yeah I'd LOVE to post this on the "ladies forum" only IT ISN'T GIVING ME A LINK TO THAT. I've questioned this since joining last month since reading all the replies that say "take to ladies forum" is kinda what got me on the site for starters. But no link for me I've had a member reach out to RoboOP on my behalf regarding this but have yet to hear from him or have it corrected. ANYONE ELSE WANNA TRY?
But also, not EVERYTHING has to go to ladies only. I KNOW there are strong christian dads who are somewhere on this site that have been through the whole teen girl thing who could pass along godly counsel (come out come out where ever you are) Yes, while a "men's only" and "women's only" forum are good for many things, this is after all a FAMILY forum. Shouldn't people of both genders be able to discuss FAMILY issues? After all, I don't know about boys in teen life yet, but I do know that when life happens to a girl...... it affects the WHOLE FAMILY. Besides, I've already posted something in family forum that I would have put in a ladies forum IF I HAD IT and surprisingly my overall HELPFUL responses (and private messages) came from males. I might have gotten some help from ladies in a ladies forum (IF I HAD IT) but would have missed some very insightful and helpful information that only males could provide.
Anyway I think ya'll get my point..........
Blessings!

My post was to keep your thread recent.More people will see it that way.. I feel that a wise woman of God would Private message you if the topic is better dealt with that way.. I do understand your frustration..

My personal experience with teens is that each teen is an individuel.. Some can go through those years with level heads and get through them without much in the way of trauma.. While other,, more vilotile teens,, will experience that period of their life like a train wreck..

It's best to deal with it as it unfolds without gettting all stressed out and worked up thinking that things will turn out the worst when those years may be far more smooth then you think.. A calmer and more level headed parent will project that stability and confidence to their teen Child and so their advice / guidance will be considered more carefully by their teenager..

 

[Godsgirl83]

My post was to keep your thread recent.More people will see it that way.. I feel that a wise woman of God would Private message you if the topic is better dealt with that way.. I do understand your frustration..

Thank you!

 

[Adstar]

Thank you!

I only wish i could offer you some really good advice.. But as a men who has never had a daughter i can only give from the very little i have in this area.. I have had a younger sister who went through a train wreck of a teenage life.. But she made it through.. But i had 6 sisters and most of them made it through without much trauma.. I have two nieces.. One is having a hard time more due to external instability in her family life rather then anything coming for her and the other niece got through her teenage years without much in the way of trouble.. So as the famous movie actor said .. Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get..

 

[Locoponydirtman]

My daughter will soon be 10!!!!! Hard to believe but cannot deny or change it I don't know where to start or how with her..................Everyone's advice has been "well how did your mom teach you?" Well for starters I was molested at a very young age, soooooo I was introduced to facts of life WAY BEFORE it was time. Also it doesn't help that she has learning disabilities that often makes it like dealing with a child 3-4 years younger so it's like trying to teach puberty to someone who is 6 or 7 yet experiencing physical and emotional changes of preteens. And yes, those emotional changes are starting to manifest in her. Also it doesn't help that many of her friends are early bloomers and starting to subtlety change. My world at 10yrs old and hers are as different as night and day.
Any advice and/or scriptures would be GREATLY appreciated!
Blessings!

I pray the best for ya.
I have one daughter, she is grown now. I botched it bad I think. I mean she turned out good she is smart and well adjusted, but for me it was like falling down a long rocky hill riddled with briar bushes while being pelted with rocks hurled by her. So I am sorry but I have no advise.

 

[Godsgirl83]

I pray the best for ya.
I have one daughter, she is grown now. I botched it bad I think. I mean she turned out good she is smart and well adjusted, but for me it was like falling down a long rocky hill riddled with briar bushes while being pelted with rocks hurled by her. So I am sorry but I have no advise.

Well, if she's a smart well adjusted adult , then you DID SOMETHING RIGHT. I'm sorry you had to endure that. I wasn't so nice to my folks as a teen either(sorry mom & dad) I do remember most the time I was so mad I didn't know half of what I was saying at the time. My daughter already does that, so I try not to take things to heart. There have been a few times though that have stung

 

[Locoponydirtman]

Well, if she's a smart well adjusted adult , then you DID SOMETHING RIGHT. I'm sorry you had to endure that. I wasn't so nice to my folks as a teen either(sorry mom & dad) I do remember most the time I was so mad I didn't know half of what I was saying at the time. My daughter already does that, so I try not to take things to heart. There have been a few times though that have stung

Yeah, she was daddy's baby girl then one day suddenly I was worse than the devil himself. now shes grown and it's like she is daddy's baby girl again. I don't even know what happened.

 

[Godsgirl83]

Yeah, she was daddy's baby girl then one day suddenly I was worse than the devil himself. now shes grown and it's like she is daddy's baby girl again. I don't even know what happened.

It's complicated......... it's a girl thing....... kinda did the same thing myself.........

 

[LittleMermaid]

Maybe it's just a latino thing but I was seriously scared to talk back to my mom in a bad way. I still am actually and I'm almost 30! lol It's just a sign of respect. My grandma and mom taught me that. If I did talk back or say something in the wrong tone, I WAS going to get it! But in a way, I like this. It helped me hold my tongue and I learned to respect my elders. Maybe you could be a little more strict with your child? This way she doesn't speak to you in the wrong way. Just tell her "you're NOT going to talk to me like that!" And if she continues take away privileges or possessions.

Also, check out books by Dannah Gresh. I really like her. I'm not a mommy, but I have learned a lot about being a Christian woman in today's world through her teachings.

Here is a good site for that.

http://secretkeepergirl.com/home/

 

[Godsgirl83]

Maybe it's just a latino thing but I was seriously scared to talk back to my mom in a bad way. I still am actually and I'm almost 30! lol It's just a sign of respect. My grandma and mom taught me that. If I did talk back or say something in the wrong tone, I WAS going to get it! But in a way, I like this. It helped me hold my tongue and I learned to respect my elders. Maybe you could be a little more strict with your child? This way she doesn't speak to you in the wrong way. Just tell her "you're NOT going to talk to me like that!" And if she continues take away privileges or possessions.

Also, check out books by Dannah Gresh. I really like her. I'm not a mommy, but I have learned a lot about being a Christian woman in today's world through her teachings.

Here is a good site for that.

http://secretkeepergirl.com/home/

Thanks.

 

[reneweddaybyday]

Have you thought about a Bible centered study for your daughter? There are studies you can look into which are Bible based and will teach your daughter to look to God first and foremost in her life.

I remember when my kids were teenagers, my husband and I had them sit in a class on the Book of Proverbs offered by our church. Age 10 might be a little young but I believe the lessons taught in Proverbs are so foundational and the class really helped our kids.

Does your church have a book store and can you ask for help finding a bible study for young teens? You and your daughter could do the study together.