Appropriate Response to Delicate Situation

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

Nancyer

Guest
#1
#1
Here's the situation. There is a dear, wonderful couple at my church who have 1 son & 1 daughter. I think very highly of both of them and their kids as well. Last Sunday the mom stood up during announcement time and somewhat teary eyed announced that she and her husband we going to be grandparents. The whole congregation applauded. She seemed very excited, as any of us would be except, the parents to be are her son, 19 years old his girl friend. Afterwards I gave them both a hug, because I love this family so much, but I am not understanding their excitement. I asked Lindell (husband) when's the wedding, he said he didn't know, right now they are focusing on a job, car, etc. I saw my friend's Facebook post about it and replied with a "you'll make a great grandma. When's the wedding, can I help?" Haven't heard back.

I know this is a Christian site so I'm thinking I'll get responses that agree with me and offer appropriate things to say, but I'm also not so sure that'll be the case.

What do you all think here? Isn't this wrong? Both my kids know I would be very upset if this was our case and they know why. I thought other church members would think the same but again, apparently not, unless they were just being polite. So what would you do or say? Appreciate the wisdom of anyone who cares to respond.
 
crossnote

crossnote

Senior Member
#2
Nov 24, 2012
30,707
3,650
113
#2
I would think the pastor should steer the course on this one and if he does nothing I would consider steering myself in another direction.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#3
#3
I'd be upset......

but there might not be a wedding Nancyer and they probably don't want to alienate their kids or they might not get to see their grandkids.
.................................................

I guess I would support them and be there to listen and perhaps brainstorm ways to instill the value of waiting to have sex until you are married in more young people today, when so much of the world says its ok and even advocate that kids be "free" to make their own choices.........................................

however for this couple its like closing the barn door after the horses have already run away.............................................
I have found that most people don't agree with me, but I believe if you have sex with someone (not if they rape you but you choose to have sex with them) then you are married to them in the eyes of God. Anyone you or they sleep with after that is adultery. It frees you from the marriage to a nonbeliever or if you were a nonbeliever, but its still adultery and will need to be repented of and washed clean by the blood of Jesus. .............

don't know if that made any sense....
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#4
#4
My enter key works!


YAHAHHHH!!! sorry had to share :)
 
W

wdeaton65

Guest
#5
#5
I am a Grandpa with no son in law legal son in law that is. I have 1st hand exper. I would not wont this for any other fathers My baby is still very angry with me and wont talk to me unless it is money. Being a father sometimes means you have got to be honest and firm with love. As a Father of 2 beautiful girls I can only say what I wanted to do to that boy well it wasnt turn the other cheek. This is a very tuff world we are passing through. After all is said and done I just wont my babies in glory with all of us and yes that young man named Dallas as well. The funny thing is and maybe this is proof GOD has a great sense of humor I never liked the cowboys. I dont know if this helps but your friends are not the only ones going through this Hang on to the LORD my only real advice Blessings.
 
Domenic

Domenic

Banned
#6
Oct 14, 2012
335
4
0
#6
Nancyer said:
Here's the situation. There is a dear, wonderful couple at my church who have 1 son & 1 daughter. I think very highly of both of them and their kids as well. Last Sunday the mom stood up during announcement time and somewhat teary eyed announced that she and her husband we going to be grandparents. The whole congregation applauded. She seemed very excited, as any of us would be except, the parents to be are her son, 19 years old his girl friend. Afterwards I gave them both a hug, because I love this family so much, but I am not understanding their excitement. I asked Lindell (husband) when's the wedding, he said he didn't know, right now they are focusing on a job, car, etc. I saw my friend's Facebook post about it and replied with a "you'll make a great grandma. When's the wedding, can I help?" Haven't heard back.

I know this is a Christian site so I'm thinking I'll get responses that agree with me and offer appropriate things to say, but I'm also not so sure that'll be the case.

What do you all think here? Isn't this wrong? Both my kids know I would be very upset if this was our case and they know why. I thought other church members would think the same but again, apparently not, unless they were just being polite. So what would you do or say? Appreciate the wisdom of anyone who cares to respond.
Click to expand...
A new life is coming into the world. That is great new. I take it the mother and father are not married. I give no advise what they should do outside of, Love the child with their whole heart, and raise it in Gods word.
The matter of their having sex outside of marriage…God will not punish them. God will even forgive them. God forgives us for all we do wrong…he does not take away the results of our actions. Those we have to live with. I would give them my warm loving, full support.
I have always found it is good to sew up all my pockets so I don’t carry stones.
 
J

justamazed

Banned
#7
Jan 24, 2013
944
2
0
#7
Congratulations to them. May their child grow to see a world better than this.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#8
#8
The command to celebrate life comes from God. It takes precedence over the ideas of men to try to force people to avoid what they think is sin. If it were me, I would throw a shower for the daughter while I was at it.
 
N

Nancyer

Guest
#9
#9
I thank everyone who responded. I do want to be supportive and loving and yes I agree that a new life is a blessing from God. So I will not lecture them but offer whatever help I can give. They do have a strong church family to lean on and lots of love to surround them so I pray God will bless them all and they will know He is there.

Praise God and thank you all again
 
2Tim3vs16

2Tim3vs16

Banned
#10
Mar 20, 2013
154
10
0
#10
So as long as immoral sex leads to a new life sin is forgiven? Are people seeking each others approval or Gods? Sounds like a lot of over looking. NO ONE can say that "God will not punish them" NO ONE has the right to speak for God or condone disobedience. Have you read these scriptures? (1 Cor 6:9) Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality." and (Heb 10:26) "For if we deliberately sin after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins". How is it that these scriptures and all God's expectations are laid out for us, yet so many compromise and minimize what God demands from us. The challenge for being Christian is not weather someone believes in Christ and the significance of his sacrifice, but rather weather our love for God and his ways will move us to obey him and turn away from what is bad in his eyes. If everyone is applauding the young people who sinned then they are not lovingly directing them toward heartfelt repentance to God. Who's judgment do we respect?
 
D

dashadow

Guest
#11
#11
This is one of the reasons I speak with my daughter about such matters. And also why I watch her 24/7. Just kidding about that last bit. :)
 
H

hattiebod

Guest
#12
#12
This is such a conflict for you as a godly woman....happiness for a new life to be born amongst you and your dear friends and yet a sadness that it is not as God would want...? I think you are so right, it is not ideal. No way. but it has happened. This baby is loved, for the moment it was conceived, and the babies mother too....Now you need to be the dear friend you are, to be the Godly influence with this family, or an additional and no less important one :) showing love and no condemnation. There may be disquiet in your heart, and God hears that, but He also sees how you will reach out, support and walk with this young woman. if you were to condemn, she and her child may not grow to be the people God wants them to be. We can all take detours on our walk...you can be SO instrumental in being Christs hands and feet , right there. God Bless you. Big Time!!<><
 
J

jinx

Guest
#13
#13
I agree with Hattibod. Is it outside of GOD's will, sure. But it's not up to us to condemn people, that isn't our job. Showing love and understanding is. What's done is done. Can't change it. That whole family knows it's wrong, but they've accepted it and now they move on to the delicate task of bringing this new life into the world. They will be looked down on by small-minded people, & even "Christians". Their heart is already heavy. As a friend, you help lighten the load, by being accepting, and let GOD do his work in that young couples life.
Catch more bees with honey. ;)
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#14
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
#14
Tough situation. Have you talked personally with the parents? (Not a FB post!) Let them know you love them and their son, but that the Bible only condones marriage, not common-in-law as the way people should live. The mom probably knows this, but it might help if she found some Christian support.

I fear greatly for these kinds of unions, when a child is involved. The mother could up and walk away, and if somehow the father's name was not on the birth certificate, he would have no parental rights, or a big fight to get them. Really the son, should be proposing now, and making things right. At least that is how I see it. But hard to tell them that, if they think it is just cool to live together, "in sin" as it used to be called in the old days.

Praying you find the godly way to deal with this difficult situation.
 
T

Tearose84

Guest
#15
#15
hattiebod said:
This is such a conflict for you as a godly woman....happiness for a new life to be born amongst you and your dear friends and yet a sadness that it is not as God would want...? I think you are so right, it is not ideal. No way. but it has happened. This baby is loved, for the moment it was conceived, and the babies mother too....Now you need to be the dear friend you are, to be the Godly influence with this family, or an additional and no less important one :) showing love and no condemnation. There may be disquiet in your heart, and God hears that, but He also sees how you will reach out, support and walk with this young woman. if you were to condemn, she and her child may not grow to be the people God wants them to be. We can all take detours on our walk...you can be SO instrumental in being Christs hands and feet , right there. God Bless you. Big Time!!<><
Click to expand...


YES! YES! YES!
 
P

Powemm

Guest
#16
#16
The greatest commandment is to love... I agree
With Dominec and kenisyes..
 
yac11

yac11

Senior Member
#17
Mar 24, 2013
580
19
18
#17
I have a niece, non Christian 20 who became pregnant out of wedlock. Upon learning the news and with much prayer I decided to congratulate her than ignore her. When we spoke I learned that my congrats was premature and that she was thinking of an abortion. That is a story in itself but I believe it was God using me to intervene. She decided to keep the baby and it was born last month all of 5lbs, but healthy. She is a gift from God.

I believe you can be supportive without condoning behavior. Show abundant Love that is of God.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.