J
Since my husband told me he was divorcing me about a month ago because I was talking to my pastors whom he has issues with, I' ve been struggling just to keep going with daily life. Two days after he said he was done, I left for Africa on a 3 week missions trip. He refused to go back to our church, to counseling, or to talk to anyone who could help him. When I returned, he had gone to see our counselor twice, my apartment was clean, and there were flowers. Everything was great for about a week, but then he became increasingly more depressed. He was crying everyday, completely shutting down. He wouldn't do anything. I asked him at least 10 times over the course of a week to do some things and nothing ever got done. He taken to snooping in my email and my text messages. He is suspicious of everything. He reads into everything. I've been continuing with our counselor. Sometimes he comes, but other times he either blows her off or doesn't bother to make an appt. This whole situation is destroying me. I feel like the most important dreams I ever had will never be realized.
I don't trust my husband. In his right mind he would never do anything to hurt me, but he's not in his right mind. He throws tantrums and I'm afraid that I'm going to be caught in one of his tantrums and be hurt. I also don't know what he's capable of and what the enemy will convince him to do if he allows him to.
My husband is not the same person I married. He is not the same person I dated for 5 years. He has no desire for anything that used to bring him joy. He feels like his character is gone, but he won't accept that his character is not determined by what people think of him. And he won't accept that what he believes to be their opinion of them may be a huge exaggeration of their true feelings. He used to devour the word. He used to talk about it all the time. He used to aspire to preach and minister. He doesn't want to do any of that any more.
Recently, he's found a new church, and he told me yesterday that he's not coming back to our church. He says that he'll never require me to go to church with him, but he's gto me in a bind and he knows it. He knows that he doesn't have to require it of me for me to know it's what I'm supposed to do. I'm sick of my husbands cowardice. All this has come about because he would not sit down (maybe several times) and work through things with two of our pastors. The pastors have reached out over and over, and Ryan has not done much to reciprocate.
I'm really sick of this. I don't know what to do. I'm not allowed to talk to anyone about him or us except for our counselor whom I only see once a week... and one other person (except he has a problem with every person I've chosen). My pastors are a part of my support system... They have practically raised me. My church is my family. I've been here 10 years. This is where I learned most of what I know about God. These are the people I've worked my butt off to have relationship with (which does not come easy to me). These people are my family... and my husband wants me to a) not talk to them, b) make another family because he's not willing to deal with his own issues.
I feel hopeless. I feel like I will never have the family. I've dreamed of kids since I was a kid... and with my husband it's not even a possibility. I feel like I want unity in my marriage, but that my husband's sin is making this too complicated. I feel like if I moved church's I may be supporting my husbands sin, and doing that will not bring unity. I feel like not moving churches will create more space between us, and if I did end up pregnant somehow, it wouldn't be an optimal environment to raise a family.
What the heck do I do? I feel like I'm caught in a no win situation. But then scripture says God works all things together for our good.
I don't trust my husband. In his right mind he would never do anything to hurt me, but he's not in his right mind. He throws tantrums and I'm afraid that I'm going to be caught in one of his tantrums and be hurt. I also don't know what he's capable of and what the enemy will convince him to do if he allows him to.
My husband is not the same person I married. He is not the same person I dated for 5 years. He has no desire for anything that used to bring him joy. He feels like his character is gone, but he won't accept that his character is not determined by what people think of him. And he won't accept that what he believes to be their opinion of them may be a huge exaggeration of their true feelings. He used to devour the word. He used to talk about it all the time. He used to aspire to preach and minister. He doesn't want to do any of that any more.
Recently, he's found a new church, and he told me yesterday that he's not coming back to our church. He says that he'll never require me to go to church with him, but he's gto me in a bind and he knows it. He knows that he doesn't have to require it of me for me to know it's what I'm supposed to do. I'm sick of my husbands cowardice. All this has come about because he would not sit down (maybe several times) and work through things with two of our pastors. The pastors have reached out over and over, and Ryan has not done much to reciprocate.
I'm really sick of this. I don't know what to do. I'm not allowed to talk to anyone about him or us except for our counselor whom I only see once a week... and one other person (except he has a problem with every person I've chosen). My pastors are a part of my support system... They have practically raised me. My church is my family. I've been here 10 years. This is where I learned most of what I know about God. These are the people I've worked my butt off to have relationship with (which does not come easy to me). These people are my family... and my husband wants me to a) not talk to them, b) make another family because he's not willing to deal with his own issues.
I feel hopeless. I feel like I will never have the family. I've dreamed of kids since I was a kid... and with my husband it's not even a possibility. I feel like I want unity in my marriage, but that my husband's sin is making this too complicated. I feel like if I moved church's I may be supporting my husbands sin, and doing that will not bring unity. I feel like not moving churches will create more space between us, and if I did end up pregnant somehow, it wouldn't be an optimal environment to raise a family.
What the heck do I do? I feel like I'm caught in a no win situation. But then scripture says God works all things together for our good.
