being Married Sucks

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Th1gurl23

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I need Help from my fellow Christians the biblical way of things,

I got married to a hoax, someone whom I thought I can live a life with and enjoy the fruits of life.

Now I feel like I am in more emotional pain then ever. I live with a life long roommate not a partner who will engage life with.

So here is the real issue I need help with, since I know divorce is not the answer unless he cheats according to the bible. He neglects me, puts me down, calls me names, violent explosions (in front of our child). I have never been in a relationship such as this one. Never been disrespected like how he disrespects me. last night I asked him why he opened a package I got in the mail, he didnt respond, ignored me (always ignores me) I asked him again, then he gets up tells me to shut up and throws our childs toy on the floor, calls me a ***** and slams the door, mean while I was changing my son's diaper and he jumped after this happened.
I am a devoted Christian, he supposedly says he is a christian but I question it. He has such an angry heart. I have read countless blogs, articles, gone to counseling. tried to call the church (they dont answer). I feel like I am stuck.. by the way I am pregnant again. I feel alone; he has no compassion, empathy. I work a full time job and clean the house. please someone give me some different advice. I pray almost everyday, I dont understand how I got here in such a violent abusive relationship.
 
I will tell you what a pastor of mine told me. "DO you feel GOD wants you to abused?" I could elaborate on what else he said, however there is a few things going on here. Don't just call the church. go to the church at lunch and walk in...tell them you need help. There are many abuse hotlines and woman's groups in most every city. REACH out and get help. The pattern needs to be broken, as children mimic what they see.
 
Thank you JeniBean, I have spoken to a pastor at my church (since my church is far from where I work) and she gave a lot of good advice, she said to start reading love and respect, call the womens pastor and get involved with the women there and also make an appointment with the Stephen's ministry which is having a person to talk to once a week
 
There can be healing because I believe Gods word. He can do all things. He has promised us that if we lean on HIM that he will bring us through the valley.
I would encourage you to separate from your husband for the childs sake and yours as well.For a season I think you may need to separate. Drastic measures are in order for drastic situations. You may need to leave temporarily. Can you go stay with family? Who can you stay with? You may have to get out. Your husband is displaying abusive behavior. You need to put a plan together and carry it out with God leading you every step of the way.Pray for discernment. You need to make appts with qualified people in this area and take a day off and go talk with them. I dont fully know your situation because you didnt share all details . Only you know if you and your children are in danger. If you are; you must be wise and take measures now.

Lots of christian counceliing is in order here. Your husband needs to learn how to be a loving husband and he needs to get to the root of the anger. You need to protect your children and yourself from him until you see some drastic change for at least 8 months or more. Its time to act. Do you have the courage to shield you kids from harm and pray that God will work a miracle in your marriage?


Lord, I pray that you give this woman wisdom in this situation. You said you are with us in the storm Lord so we are asking you to show up in a big way . Give this woman discernment in this situation. Bring the right people in her path and shield her and her children from the wrong people and the wrong paths. Protect her from evil Lord.

I ask that you work a miracle in this womans husband and these childrens father. Father heal what ails this man. Provide a way. Lord she needs you now! Help her Lord help her! Thank you Lord. We praise you in the storms and we know you want to deliver us into safe pastures. Thank you Jesus Christ! In your glorious almighty Holy name we pray, Amen
 
Thank you so much for your kind words and advice I will use, Thank you so much for praying for me, more prayers needed. God Bless blondieindahouse
 
Just thinking:

If you have a friend behaving like that, will you leave her or him?
If you had your daughter being treated that way... What would you tell her to do?

I was married for 13 years. When our things changed (for those things each partner often contributed in the negative) I moved alone to the next floor in that house my ex wife and I built. Since that tension was so, I normally talked unkindly, unloving and, when issues when our kids appeared,she with her family (some of those she bought in as her guests frequently) removed the authority I had, too often, spoiling the kids respect... At times, when I left, they needed me (a bit) but now they can walk alone but that emotional loneliness becomes deeper and hurting when you realized things well.

I hope you never see what itś done in secret. I have read what ladies felt and witnessed and, as I "see" physical VIOLENCE is knocking at your door. The way he treats his kids shows the way he manipulated you and, you have issues with self esteem.

Iḿ sorry! :)
 
Sister, What your husband is doing is breaking the law. If he treated anyone else the way he is treating you, he would be arrested. He is making you a prisoner in your own home. Your children will most definitely be scarred emotionally at the least if you allow it to continue. Contact a women's crisis center and get help immediately.

This is a statistical fact regarding domestic violence: The more you allow it to go on, the more violent your husband will get. You are losing more credibility and worth in his eyes as the days go by that you allow him to treat you like a victim. PUT A STOP TO IT NOW!

Women's Crisis Center - Hope Is Found Here
 
To secularhermit , first off everyone has some kind of self-esteem issue.. I actually have a lot of confidence in myself.. but since I am married and he isnt just a boyfriend.. I have to look at things a little differently then just having to run away. God does not want divorce.. satan will win if there is. He hasn't touched me, he just throws things. I understand what you are saying it could get to that point. If it does I have no problem leaving. Right now it is still fixable, which I am grateful for. As for manipulation.. how did he manipulate if he didnt want to answer a simple question regarding my mail?

VioletReigns- I have called the crisis center, thank you
 
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