Bible study gone wrong?

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

Nomi

Guest
#1
#1
I attended a bible study for the first time tonight. I'm really shy and reserved when it comes to meeting new people. I'm also a 23 year old woman who just recently got out of the sex trade and has chosen to follow Jesus... So I feel like everyone is better then me or at least thinks they are and are judging me. Anyways. Bible study... At a new persons house with people I don't know. The study part went ok... I was pretty quiet, too scared and unsure to comment but secretly hoping they would ask me something or break the ice somehow. Didn't happen that way though... What really got me upset was the prayer request portion of the meeting. I thought this would be a good opportunity to share a struggle.. But even though I had the intention of piping up, other people were talking so long about their problems (one girl in particular, in great detail and quite repetitly I might add) that I, the new comer..., wasn't even asked or given the slightest opertunity to share. I was so hurt I felt so excluded and unwelcome. I was getting quite annoyed. Then they started singing. Almost as soon as the music started, tears started streaming out of my eyes... I tried to make myself sing through the tears, barely succeeding. Tried to praise God and focus on him. But I just kept tearing and choking. I felt like I was on the outside even at a place where people are supposed to care. I felt so out of place. I feel like I learned a couple things though... Just because people are Christians dosent mean they are perfect, or always considerate. I think I need to stick to sunday worship and steer clear of all afterward fellowship until I find some people I can relate too. Most people would just judge a young person such as I, covered in tattoos and youthfull modern style. Sorry I'm not fitting the image... I believe all God sees is Jesus anyhow... And my intentions. Hoping for some input... Feedback... Answers... Can anyone relate?
 
H

HisHolly

Guest
#2
#2
A lesson I had to learn in a similar situation.. God be number one, your lifespring .. people will disappoint you. We all have needs and wants and get stuck in the crosshairs of it all.. 2) showed me how it felt and he doesn't like it.. Not everyone keeps His heart in mind when going on throughout the day.. He's giving you the opportunity to learn.. Be strong.. He's better than any number of people.. I know that to be true..
 
PeterJens

PeterJens

Banned
#3
Feb 24, 2015
13,204
168
0
#3
Nomi said:
I attended a bible study for the first time tonight... Hoping for some input... Feedback... Answers... Can anyone relate?
Click to expand...
Take heart dear sister. At my age you are the same age as my kids. I was watching a program last night about sex slavery and girls who get mixed up in it. I cried. I do not easily cry. Where you have come from is a hard place.
Most of the people in church do not know the things that drive people, the terrible experiences that happen.

House groups, bible studies are places for people in churches to start to belong and interact.
Each group has its own feel and history, and trying others, getting involved in other groups can help.
Usually there is a person who is in charge of matching people to groups. Talking to them might help you find a group that is more open.

People of your age group, singles, just starting out into the world of work etc. often have their own groups.
Going to different services, morning or evening often exposes you to different groups.

Over the years I have been involved in youth groups, singles groups, house groups etc. and sometimes none.
Often you just need to make space for what you can give and what you need to receive.

So I 100% relate to what you are sharing. You have much to share, and the Lord loves you. Finding people and a reaching out takes time. God bless.
 
river_stone

river_stone

Member
#4
May 27, 2012
34
0
6
#4
Hi, I sure do understand. I am so sorry you got shunned. I have begun working with a few in that trade you are now not part of, they are hurt, afraid to talk sometimes, feel there is no coming back, etc. So hard to break the ice with them. Takes much effort to build up trust with them. Anything I can do feel free.
 
N

Nomi

Guest
#5
#5
Thank you all who replied, related, and acknowledged my struggle. It helps. God bless
 
M

MollyConnor

Guest
#6
#6
Sorry this happened to you, Nomi. But like you said, you realized something. Christians aren't perfect. We're not even close to it! Sometimes Christians can actually be really selfish...I've noticed this at church too.
Maybe next time, try being a little friendly. Open up on your own. Or if you really feel ticked off, try another small group from your church.
It can sometimes help to put yourself out there. Christians are humans and they won't do the right thing every time. I say you should try it one more time and attempt at talking more. If it doesn't work then move on.

I'm sorry you were in the sex trade. I cannot imagine how hard that must have been. Know that the Lord knows your pain.
But remember that God sees you as a pure, clean, and lovely daughter of the most high! You are not your past. He has wiped it clean with his blood. So please don't think of yourself as less than others. That is NOT true! It's a lie of the enemy.

And if all else fails, keep using CC. You will make friends on here from all over the world. :) God bless you, sister!
 
W

wanderermish

Guest
#7
#7
Nomi said:
I attended a bible study for the first time tonight. I'm really shy and reserved when it comes to meeting new people. I'm also a 23 year old woman who just recently got out of the sex trade and has chosen to follow Jesus... So I feel like everyone is better then me or at least thinks they are and are judging me. Anyways. Bible study... At a new persons house with people I don't know. The study part went ok... I was pretty quiet, too scared and unsure to comment but secretly hoping they would ask me something or break the ice somehow. Didn't happen that way though... What really got me upset was the prayer request portion of the meeting. I thought this would be a good opportunity to share a struggle.. But even though I had the intention of piping up, other people were talking so long about their problems (one girl in particular, in great detail and quite repetitly I might add) that I, the new comer..., wasn't even asked or given the slightest opertunity to share. I was so hurt I felt so excluded and unwelcome. I was getting quite annoyed. Then they started singing. Almost as soon as the music started, tears started streaming out of my eyes... I tried to make myself sing through the tears, barely succeeding. Tried to praise God and focus on him. But I just kept tearing and choking. I felt like I was on the outside even at a place where people are supposed to care. I felt so out of place. I feel like I learned a couple things though... Just because people are Christians dosent mean they are perfect, or always considerate. I think I need to stick to sunday worship and steer clear of all afterward fellowship until I find some people I can relate too. Most people would just judge a young person such as I, covered in tattoos and youthfull modern style. Sorry I'm not fitting the image... I believe all God sees is Jesus anyhow... And my intentions. Hoping for some input... Feedback... Answers... Can anyone relate?
Click to expand...
All new comers felt the way u feels being first timer in any christian fellowship/gatherings but you know the purpose of the Bible Study - to study the word of God lead by the Leader or appointed speaker of that Bible Study.

If the Bible study have the so called portions of Testimony ( 3-5 persons) want to testify the goodness of God to their lives usually it will takes approx 3 mins because Bible study timings are usually 1-2 hours including all prayer, singing, testimonies , preaching and eating - bec ths is our bible timings we start at 8:30pm - 9:30pm all of us our busy whole day working so only after work time we can have fellowships. then that's the time you can share but since you are shy . mostly of those who testify are those have courage to testify what God dd to their lives so if they didnt ask you or you feel they will ask you but didnt care? pls do not think that way they also thinking because you are new and ist timer you might not want to share anything and they dont want to force you to share it's like their showing you how the bible study is like, so next time you can attend again and feel comfortable to share on your willingness about yourself and Do not think that people will judge you.
going to christian church and fellowship are right decisions that no one will judge you on your past. We are all saved by Grace.

and also Praise God bec You are trying to sing worship songs and you feel the Holy spirit in you as you cry you have been moved do not think of anyone when you are in praise and worship. Do not ever feel out of place and if you have some self issues that you think you really need some spiritual advice go directly to the pastor or ministry leader.

Remember God see us through our hearts not on our looks and in our past as long as you decided to receive Jesus as your Lord and Personal savior , You accepted Him to take control your life and be baptized then all your sins are forgiven only one thing He requires to us that We Repent and turn away to our wicked ways then you worship him . you talk to Him in Prayers and If you want to know Him more and more Read the Bible and Live according to the will of God.

May this help you sister
I am praying for your spiritual walk and May spirit of God be with you
God Bless
 
M

mar09

Senior Member
#8
Sep 17, 2014
4,927
1,259
113
#8
Nomi said:
Thank you all who replied, related, and acknowledged my struggle. It helps. God bless
Click to expand...
Nomi, i am glad others here are able to help. I only wanted to welcome, for u are new, and hope u stay on. With the Lord's help, u will get over this. May His face shine upon you, and give u peace.
 
B

Blue3Falcon

Guest
#9
#9
I'm so sorry you went through that situation Nomi! I know how it feels to be on the outside. My first church in my new city I never felt connected with. I would leave after hangouts sad and lonely, even crying sometimes. I felt like people didn't really care about me, and some just looked right through me when I talked to them. I was fortunate to make a couple of friends from there, but I think that's because those two didn't fit in with this group either. The thing was though, they weren't bad people. I mean, like you said, christians aren't perfect and sometimes we do mess up and don't do the right thing. But this church was a great church, it just wasn't where I belonged. So I looked for a new church where I felt connected, and the people wanted to get to know me.

I think the best thing for you is to try out a couple of places until you find one that feels like home. It's hard at first when you go somewhere with new people and you don't know if they'll accept you. But once you find the right fit, it will make all the struggles disappear.

I don't think you have to give up Bible study. Bible study can be a great place, and it's a good time to get support. You just need to find the right one.

I hope this helps :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.