Can you give me advice?

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pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#1
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#1
I dont want to say those things that would simply make my daughter feel worse.
She is 27 yrs old, a christian, the most kind and giving heart one could ever know.
She is patete is size, and very curvy, not really overweight. More muscle because she is a paramedic and daily lifts 200 lbs or more.
She is very discouraged right now as she wonders if she will ever meet that one good man that she can consider as a husband.
To her it seems all men want is a size 7 female that is all sugar or worse.
She is very out spoken and strong and she thinks that this is why she is not meeting men, or when she does they all consider her a good friend. We all say ugh to the friend bit.
Any way I dont want to say those words that will only make her feel worse, or just sound repetative.
So any advice? What to say, or even what might help?
My heart breaks for her.
Thankyou and God bless, pickles
 
U

Umpire4God

Guest
#2
#2
Well, I know there is a man out there for your daughter, just like there is a girl for me somewhere out there. I know many men like to judge the book by its cover, I personally don't care if a girl is outspoken and strong or not, personality matters most. Yes, there are many men who look for the size 7, supposedly perfect girl. I think that she can find a guy who will like her for who she is, which is the key. So, my advice is to never give up, God will provide, and everything happens for a reason.
 
M

Meridoc

Guest
#3
#3
I agree, God will provide. I am 33 and have just found the love of my life.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#4
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#4
Thankyou both.
It is what I tell her.
God bless, pickles
 
M

Mal316

Guest
#5
#5
Run as hard as you can for the Lord. If you see someone keeping up, take notice. :)
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#7
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#7
Mal316 said:
Run as hard as you can for the Lord. If you see someone keeping up, take notice. :)
Click to expand...
I love this, I will share it with her.
Thankyou and God bless, pickles
 
V

vijayapple80

Guest
#8
#8
God bless you
Our God is a mighty God
Need to pray, there are faithful christians in the world, Who love God very much and love their partner as they love themself.
Surely, that man will come to your daughter and he will see the internal beaty and not the external .
this wolrd is temporary, our world and rewards are waiting with lord Jesus.
so cintinue to pray for her partner in this temp world.
go to church and mingle and church activites, she willl find the right soul.
God bless you
VIjay
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#9
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#9
vijayapple80 said:
God bless you
Our God is a mighty God
Need to pray, there are faithful christians in the world, Who love God very much and love their partner as they love themself.
Surely, that man will come to your daughter and he will see the internal beaty and not the external .
this wolrd is temporary, our world and rewards are waiting with lord Jesus.
so cintinue to pray for her partner in this temp world.
go to church and mingle and church activites, she willl find the right soul.
God bless you
VIjay
Click to expand...
Thankyou and God bless, pickles
 
J

Jooshua

Guest
#10
#10
She will find somebody, not all men want a size 7
 
K

kiwi_OT

Guest
#11
#11
Jooshua said:
She will find somebody, not all men want a size 7
Click to expand...
I agree. During highschool I was very athletic and skinny but 4 years of college and my familys DNA has finally caught up with me and Im now size 14 and Im fine with that. My boyfriend (soon to be fiance) likes that I have a feminine figure plus Im very blunt and open as well which a lot of people find hard to deal with. Trust me there are men out there who find brutal honesty very refreshing, and it takes a strong man to be attracted to a strong woman. Tell your daughter to not lower her expectations but to keep them on God. He will honor that and provide like he did for me
I think its fantastic that your daughter keeps fit and is naturally muscular because of her work (paramedic is very cool). If a man is threatened by her physique and quick and intelligent mind, he is obviously not good enough. If shes struggling to find men in her area, tell her to branch out a bit (I mean geographically).

Good luck! Your an awesome Mom to support your daughter :D
 
M

Matthew

Guest
#12
#12
pickles said:
I dont want to say those things that would simply make my daughter feel worse.
She is 27 yrs old, a christian, the most kind and giving heart one could ever know.
She is patete is size, and very curvy, not really overweight. More muscle because she is a paramedic and daily lifts 200 lbs or more.
She is very discouraged right now as she wonders if she will ever meet that one good man that she can consider as a husband.
To her it seems all men want is a size 7 female that is all sugar or worse.
She is very out spoken and strong and she thinks that this is why she is not meeting men, or when she does they all consider her a good friend. We all say ugh to the friend bit.
Any way I dont want to say those words that will only make her feel worse, or just sound repetative.
So any advice? What to say, or even what might help?
My heart breaks for her.
Thankyou and God bless, pickles
Click to expand...
I don't think there is anything you can say by way of specific advice or affirming statements because after a point it does become repetitive and does no good.

When someone is stuggling like this they know the truth but they continue to seek new answers because the truth is so unsatisfying, that search in itself is a damaging thing and can lead to depression.

It is key to help her avoid that by tyring to focus her attention elsewhere and give her encouragement to carry on living how she is so she doesn't make the mistake of tyring to change in order to attract a man, as that will probably attract the wrong man.

As a parent the best thing you can give is the kind of support that serves as a remedy to all things, keep telling her how proud you are, how she is a fine example in a society seemingly at war with itself and how so many relationships that come swiftly to those around her often depart that same way and that her waiting will ultimately earn her something better that will stand the tests of time.

I know you're probably doing all that :) so my advice doesn't help, but as much as you share the pain don't underestimate the value of that support, I have long struggled with feeling lonely and in this life all alone and from what little I've known of that kind of care I can say it helps, even if her outward mood doesn't show it you can be sure it strengthens her.

I can say from experience it's notable by it's absence, I'd say she's lucky to have that.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#13
#13
pickles said:
I dont want to say those things that would simply make my daughter feel worse.
She is 27 yrs old, a christian, the most kind and giving heart one could ever know.
She is patete is size, and very curvy, not really overweight. More muscle because she is a paramedic and daily lifts 200 lbs or more.
She is very discouraged right now as she wonders if she will ever meet that one good man that she can consider as a husband.
To her it seems all men want is a size 7 female that is all sugar or worse.
She is very out spoken and strong and she thinks that this is why she is not meeting men, or when she does they all consider her a good friend. We all say ugh to the friend bit.
Any way I dont want to say those words that will only make her feel worse, or just sound repetative.
So any advice? What to say, or even what might help?
My heart breaks for her.
Thankyou and God bless, pickles
Click to expand...

I'm being a bit rude and blunt when I say this, but... I personally don't care for the anorexic type. I can't lift 200 .lbs, probably never will be able to. That's a bit intimidating, but it's not that I couldn't get to that point. I would just have to work. WORK?!?!?! DON'T SAY THAT WORD!


I agree though, a lot of guys seem to like the toothpick type. I like the outdoors, from my experience the toothpick type don't do well outdoors.


Outspoken. Strong. I like that. I'm very outspoken, especially with politics. Sometimes I can be a bit rude about it, and I try so hard not to be. Sometimes I don't try so much. I recognize my rudeness about politics is a problem, I guess I've taken the first step.



I'm obviously too young, but just wanted to let you know that there are a few of us who don't want a size 7.
 
T

Tinker

Guest
#14
#14
She'll find that one man. Tell her to pray and ask God about that one specific one man. That one man will be called on and they will meet. Trust me on this one. I prayed and asked God to let me find that one man that I can spend the rest of my life with. Now I have that one man that I asked for. It helps. He loves me and cares for who I am. Just that one day will make all the difference in her life and she will be happy all over again
 
G

grannie8

Guest
#15
#15
NO ALL MEN DO NOT WANT A SIZE 7. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER 40 YRARS AND I WAS NEVER A SIZE 7. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A LARGE WOMAN. MY HUSBAND LIKES IT THAT WAY. I FOUND MY HUSBAND WHILE VISITING A FRIEND AND GOING TO HER CHURCH. YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED WHAT YOU CAN FIND AT CHURCH BESIDES THE GOOD LORD. A LOTOF GOOD MEN GO TO CHURCH. AND A LOT DO IT TO FIND A NICE WOMAN; SOMEONE THEY CAN LOVE THAT CARES FOR GOD AS MUCH AS THEY DO. HAS SHE TRIED TO BEING A MEMBER OF A LOCAL CHURCH GROUP. WHAT TYPE OF MEN DOES SHE WORK WITH? ARE THEY ALL MARRIED? DO THEY HAVE ANY NICE BROTHERS AROUND HER AGE BRACKET? TEL HER TO LOOK FOR SOMEONE THAT SHE CAN PUT HER TRUST IN AND TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT LOOKS AREN'T ALWAYS THE BEST WAY TO GO. FIND A MAN THAT RESPECTS HIS MOTHER AND OTHER WOMEN. THEY ARE USUALLY GOOD TO HAVE AROUND. TELL HER TO JUST ASK GOD EACH AND EVERY NIGHT WHEN SHE SAYS HER PRAYERS TO ASK GOD TO SEND HER THE MAN THAT HE WANTS TO BE THE LOVE OF HER LIFE AND HE WILL. TELL HER ALSO TO REMEMBER THAT GOD IS NOT A MICROWAVE. HE WORKS IN HIS OWN TIME AND SPEED. GOD BLESS YOU BOTH AND KEEP YOUR CHINUP. GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE AND HE IS STILL ANSWERING PRAYERS!!!!!!
 
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