Cheated on my non-Christian husband

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sun55

Guest
#1
#1
Hi all,
I really need some help. I have been too distant from God lately and really struggling.
My husband and I got together 4 years ago, we have a 3 year old son and have been married for 1 year. He is not a Christiant and right now, we are going through some tough times. We argue a lot, and not long ago I was told not to come home after work (i work in a bar) because he was upset with me. So, I didn't go home. Instead I went drinking with my male co-worker and we ended up in bed together.
I am seeking God's forgiveness but my husband does not know God. If he finds out he will leave me, I am certain of it. I just don't know what to do!
 
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Sam52

Guest
#2
#2
Repent before God.He will cleanse you and restore you. See that it will never happen again. Live Holy for God.dont drink don't abuse your body it's Gods temple. Jesus Christ will help you
 
E

eddie1801

Senior Member
#3
Jun 9, 2013
127
1
0
#3
Sorry to hear of your set back. I think it is important for you not be in compromising situations that will lead to adultery. Please note that adultery is a serious thing. Please do not take this lightly. You have to do whatever it takes to not go down that path again. With that being said, a job change might seems like a good option. This is for several reasons.
1. You may be prone to drink, and you may not make wise decisions because of this
2. You may be around those same coworkers who assisted in this affair.(Im assuming that they know you are married)
3. This hurts your husband, God, and your testimony of being saved.
4. Your flesh is weak..do not think that you can ever be "strong enough" not to fail. the devil will try to exploit this

Again, this is a serious thing you are dealing with here,make no mistake about it. In my opinion, a job change is worth it..your marriage is a covenant you made with your husband before GOD. I pray that when you do confess that your husband will forgive you. Take care
 
M

Mammachickadee

Guest
#4
#4
sun55 said:
Hi all,
I really need some help. I have been too distant from God lately and really struggling.
My husband and I got together 4 years ago, we have a 3 year old son and have been married for 1 year. He is not a Christiant and right now, we are going through some tough times. We argue a lot, and not long ago I was told not to come home after work (i work in a bar) because he was upset with me. So, I didn't go home. Instead I went drinking with my male co-worker and we ended up in bed together.
I am seeking God's forgiveness but my husband does not know God. If he finds out he will leave me, I am certain of it. I just don't know what to do!
Click to expand...
Under similar circumstances I found myself with the same decision to make: tell him and risk his leaving or live with the secret all my life.
If he had cheated wouldn't you want to know? Believe it or not it sits with a man better if an affair meant nothing for one night than if it meant enough for you to keep it a secret (or so my husband told me). Allowing the devil to make this decision one more division between the two of you will cause more harm than being honest, asking forgiveness out of humility, and walking on eggshells until he trusts you again. If you don't have the humility in your marriage, perhaps this action of yours is what the Lord will use to help you recognize you have feet of clay and must rely on Him for everything. If you are a believer God has already forgiven you. If you tell your husband and he decides he wants to leave the Bible clearly states you have to let him go. I pray it doesn't come to that, but I do think that it's best to tell him.
 
Markum1972

Markum1972

Senior Member
#5
Mar 25, 2013
1,165
32
48
#5
You will tell him. The question is whether or not that will be now... or later. Better to be now and find out the result than to extend the guilt and shame for longer.
 
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Share55

Guest
#6
#6
I agree with MammaChickadee and do agree that a change in job would be in order. I also believe that you should be seeking God's guidance in your marriage.
Many believers marry non-believers and have a wonderful life. God is not against it but He will absolve it if the non-believing spouse can't handle it.
God answered me when I ran into a major marriage problem and truth is truth. Would you feel comfortable living a lie? It may just add to the dissension in your marriage.
If it wouldn't then you wouldn't be here asking. ;)

Pray God's answer for you and your spouse.
 
T

Threefold

Guest
#7
#7
1 John 1:9 and Isaiah 22: 21-30 The Lord Jesus loves you and His Grace is greater than your sins!! Get back in the race dear sister!! He is coming sooner than you know! Godbless you!
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#8
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#8
Are you attending church? Find a church you enjoy and try to get your husband to go with you. Building a marriage on Christ as the foundation is the key to a successful marriage.

Listen to the Spirit's voice about when is the right time to confess your sin to your husband. Only He knows the best way to handle it. Until that happens, start the healing process. Also, read and study God's Word, pray, seek friendships with mature Christians. There's a lot of wonderful things to learn about our Lord and Savior.

I pray that your husband will come along with you on this journey :). It would also be good to take your toddler to church...children are very comforted by Jesus.
 
C

Cino

Guest
#9
#9
sun55 said:
Hi all,
I really need some help. I have been too distant from God lately and really struggling.
My husband and I got together 4 years ago, we have a 3 year old son and have been married for 1 year. He is not a Christiant and right now, we are going through some tough times. We argue a lot, and not long ago I was told not to come home after work (i work in a bar) because he was upset with me. So, I didn't go home. Instead I went drinking with my male co-worker and we ended up in bed together.
I am seeking God's forgiveness but my husband does not know God. If he finds out he will leave me, I am certain of it. I just don't know what to do!
Click to expand...
It's very sad to hear your story, and sad that you say your husband is not a Christian, yet you go out and do this non christian adulterous thing as a Christian yourself. That is very sad. You need to repent to God for your sin, and turn away from it. You should never see this other man again, change your job, whatever it takes. As for your husband, I probably would not tell him if you think it would separate the two of you. However, if you are having other marriage problems besides this, and you want to leave for other causes, then you could possibly come clean. This is exactly why God advised in his word that we should not be unequally yoked. Believers should not marry unbelievers. You have already transgressed this commandment by marrying him in the first place, and now you have to have the consequences of marrying an unbeliever. Look, it even drove you into sin. So now, turn away from you sin, repent to God, and if you can't sort out your marriage problems, best to leave him.
 
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