confusion and sin

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C

cj88

Guest
#1
#1
I have had an issue with porn for a while now, almost 5 yrs. and only in the past 2 yrs did I really get that it was bad and wrong, biblically speaking. I've heard the verses about lusting after women, etc and I believe i'm a christian I go to church on a regular basis. I reading my word and pray, along with a morning devotional, and I had about a month and a half streak of no porn whatsoever. For me porn was a way of releasing the sexual tension and more recently i had dropped the porn and tried masturbation alone. Well that worked for a while but this past week has been horrible, i was fine last wednesday, I hadnt watched porn in a month and a half, I was asked to present the sermon in church for the youth on wednesday night, everything was great, I left feeling filled. With even the adults saying it was a good message. Thursday came along, and bam just massive uncontrollable sexual urges like nothing ive had recently, I began feeling like watching it, I looked it up, was about to press play then I turned it off. Friday, the same thing. Saturday I was feeling tired, I hadnt read because I felt like nothing had changed, not only was I still desiring porn but I had seeked it out and although at that time I had not yet failed I was condemning myself, and then as I felt further from god I felt as if he wouldnt want me anyways, cuz im just someone who has once again chosen sexual desires over him. and due to the feeling of failure and the fear of rejection from god ive been even more down on myself, and I want to read I want to come to him, and I know the bible talks of him recieving us back, but I dont want to live in that, the "oh god will forgive me mindset" ive been mad at myself for doing it, but that only causes me to want it more, i start thinking weird. thinking about the amazing christian girl i know who i fear would turn away from me if she found out. and all these fears that when i think about them right now dont even make alot of sense, but when they run through my head i get overwhelmed i feel lonely and go to the one thing that kinda seems similar to interaction and then hate myself after,
i was just looking for advice or someone to talk to when these feelings come who can as a brother or sister in christ just talk me out of it, or be in prayer...thanks in advance
 
MadeInGodsImage

MadeInGodsImage

Senior Member
#2
Mar 30, 2015
147
1
16
#2
Hi cj88, feel free to pm me whenever you want to. I'm on a vacation till the 9th of May so my activity till then is unstable.

I'm glad to hear that you have made up your mind to get over this addiction, your post tells me that your pretty determined, that's good. This is something that most of the guys of the present age go through, even christian guys. That feeling that you have of God rejecting you because of what you have done is NOT from God, do not encourage that feeling. God will receive you with His immense love if you repent sincerely, no doubt about it, Jesus died on the cross and shed His blood for every sin of every man. There are people who have murdered and have received the forgiveness of God and are now working strongly for God's ministry. Why won't God forgive you?

All of us have some sin or addiction that we have to battle, this life is a test for us, test of our determination and strength, being close to God makes it easy for us to face such evil and temptations. Throw away anything that makes you feel like you want to watch porn from your life. Be as far away from it as possible. Then pray to God to give you the strength to face this temptation. God has told us that He won't give us burdens that we can't handle, so this temptation is definitely something you can handle and win over. God will give you the strength for that when you pray to him.

The christian girl you talked about, she will accept you for who you are if she truly loves you. Also, she would be proud that you won over such a thing. (Provided that is what God wants.) Don't lie to her if she ask you about this.

The next time you feel like you want to repeat this sin, go down on your knees and pray to our Heavenly Father. Ask Him to give you the strength to overcome this temptation with a desire in your heart. I'm sure you will get over it.
 
Channa

Channa

Senior Member
#3
Mar 1, 2014
381
2
18
#3
He cj88!

I'll pray for you. Also, you can always pm me.
Atleast it's good that you want to stop with it :)

God bless ya,
Channa
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#4
#4
cj88 said:
I have had an issue with porn for a while now, almost 5 yrs. and only in the past 2 yrs did I really get that it was bad and wrong, biblically speaking. I've heard the verses about lusting after women, etc and I believe i'm a christian I go to church on a regular basis. I reading my word and pray, along with a morning devotional, and I had about a month and a half streak of no porn whatsoever. For me porn was a way of releasing the sexual tension and more recently i had dropped the porn and tried masturbation alone. Well that worked for a while but this past week has been horrible, i was fine last wednesday, I hadnt watched porn in a month and a half, I was asked to present the sermon in church for the youth on wednesday night, everything was great, I left feeling filled. With even the adults saying it was a good message. Thursday came along, and bam just massive uncontrollable sexual urges like nothing ive had recently, I began feeling like watching it, I looked it up, was about to press play then I turned it off. Friday, the same thing. Saturday I was feeling tired, I hadnt read because I felt like nothing had changed, not only was I still desiring porn but I had seeked it out and although at that time I had not yet failed I was condemning myself, and then as I felt further from god I felt as if he wouldnt want me anyways, cuz im just someone who has once again chosen sexual desires over him. and due to the feeling of failure and the fear of rejection from god ive been even more down on myself, and I want to read I want to come to him, and I know the bible talks of him recieving us back, but I dont want to live in that, the "oh god will forgive me mindset" ive been mad at myself for doing it, but that only causes me to want it more, i start thinking weird. thinking about the amazing christian girl i know who i fear would turn away from me if she found out. and all these fears that when i think about them right now dont even make alot of sense, but when they run through my head i get overwhelmed i feel lonely and go to the one thing that kinda seems similar to interaction and then hate myself after,
i was just looking for advice or someone to talk to when these feelings come who can as a brother or sister in christ just talk me out of it, or be in prayer...thanks in advance
Click to expand...
It sounds like you're your own worst enemy, not porn. Do you know the difference between condemnation and conviction? Condemnation is a feeling we get from Satan that tells us we screwed up, and we have no way back to God. It tells us we are deserving of hell, and that even if God has forgiveness for us, it will eventually run out and He will just be done with us. Conviction comes from the Holy Spirit, the one we are filled with, and tells us that we did wrong, and we must pursue repentance, and forgiveness. It's up to you which you will be guided by.

If there is something drawing you away from God, and keeping you from God, it is NOT from God. Telling yourself you don't want to come back to God for any reason whatsoever, no matter how noble and selfless it seems is NOT from God. Anything that draws our attention to God, is from God, and it is usually the quietest voice that you want to rebel against the most. With God as your first love, and to fulfill your purpose in life, and live His calling, you need to return to Him

Don't beat yourself up so hard, there are so many worse things you could be doing, but do your best to make a constant decision to choose Him.
 
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