crash & burn

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S

singleparent

Guest
#1
#1
My wife of seven years and I have separated as of two weeks ago I was crushed now me and my eleven year old daughter are liveing in our own home apart from her and my step daughter.
As if that wasn't bad enough in that time she has given herself to another man? My heart is broken even though I have taken it to our Lord the pain is almost unbearable.Is there any hope any answers? Why would she do that? I still love her but can never see us together agin,I know God defines adultery as an offense that as a man justifies my divorcing her and I have completed the divorce paperwork but I feel so lost so broken.
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#2
#2
I know this is an extremely difficult time for you right now, and it feels like the pain will never go away and you can never be happy again but i assure the sun will shine again .
it will take time....thats the hard part,waiting. Psalms 56:8 God puts our tears in a bottle , He knows ,cares and understands . Psalms 126:5 They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. My heart goes out to you Gb :)
 
R

Raeshelle

Guest
#3
#3
The best advise I can give you is to take the time to let yourself heal. This is a grieving time for you, and you have to take time to heal. Know that God is there with you giving you strength even though you feel so alone. It is a hard thing go through a broken marriage I been there. If you ever feel you need someone to talk to I am willing to listen and encourage you and I am sure there are others here willing to to help as well. I will remember you in my prayers.
 
S

singleparent

Guest
#4
#4
Thank you Denise and I know your right however Kylara that's my little girl and I are struggling just to breath right now starting over seems like a wast of time maby I should just live for my daughter and forget my own needs by that I mean I need affection love but every time I reach out I get hurt
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#5
#5
singleparent said:
Thank you Denise and I know your right however Kylara that's my little girl and I are struggling just to breath right now starting over seems like a wast of time maby I should just live for my daughter and forget my own needs by that I mean I need affection love but every time I reach out I get hurt
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its ok to be cautious with relationships after youve been hurt in fact its probably a good idea, its so soon i wouldnt recommend jumpin into another relationship quickly, but later , after you have had some time to heal...yes maam you certainly deserve affection and love like anyone else...and i have a feeling you will find it
 
S

singleparent

Guest
#6
#6
I don't know if I can keep up my typing skills are lacking a lot but Raeshelle thank you for your response to heal it fells like an impossibility right now time may be what we need your right but at my age time is not as abundant as it was twenty years ago? Never would I have imagined that I would suffer two broken marriages,do you think its because I did'ent wait on the Lord and just did what I wonted ? By that I mean get married without waiting on him?
 
S

singleparent

Guest
#7
#7
Denise; I hope your right I don't have much choice but im not getting any younger as a single parent and a man at that it seems the possibility of marriage is a distant wish? A joke I am fourty seven years old raising a little girl who needs a mother and I need a wife.
 
G

greatkraw

Guest
#8
#8
Dude do not be in any hurry to put in the divorce paperwork - put it away.
 
O

OreoSoleil

Guest
#9
#9
Yes, I agree our relationships fail many times because we put something else before God -- Whether the immediate cause for separation is adultery. We have each made choices and brought ourselves to the point we are at now. I have had 2 failed relationships that have ended with children -- I see the story of David in a different light. And remember Matthew 6:24 -- we cannot serve 2 masters -- when we do, God is forced to bring us back to him. He brings good from all things --- but first we must trust him and place our burdens on him. This is a trial I am currently going through -- God is showing me where I went wrong -- and where He can make it right. Now whether my ex will come back -- I have to leave that up to God and just seek Jesus. We cannot control others -- they are not the problem -- we can only control how much we seek God and ask Him to search our hearts.

When I was in the place you are now -- and wise person told me --- maybe there is something God wants to change in you -- read and focus on Psalm 139 and then Psalm 51. David was a man after God's own heart, but just like us -- He got impatient and forced things that were not God's will. He then prayed for God to fix everything -- God will only fix us and we have to trust and believe that His outcome after that is what is best.

This is a hard lesson -- but God punishes those He loves and through our suffering we learn obedience -- Jesus died to help us live this life -- open your heart to him and let him know everything -- use this time to focus on your daughter and God.
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#10
#10
OreoSoleil said:
Yes, I agree our relationships fail many times because we put something else before God -- Whether the immediate cause for separation is adultery. We have each made choices and brought ourselves to the point we are at now. I have had 2 failed relationships that have ended with children -- I see the story of David in a different light. And remember Matthew 6:24 -- we cannot serve 2 masters -- when we do, God is forced to bring us back to him. He brings good from all things --- but first we must trust him and place our burdens on him. This is a trial I am currently going through -- God is showing me where I went wrong -- and where He can make it right. Now whether my ex will come back -- I have to leave that up to God and just seek Jesus. We cannot control others -- they are not the problem -- we can only control how much we seek God and ask Him to search our hearts.

When I was in the place you are now -- and wise person told me --- maybe there is something God wants to change in you -- read and focus on Psalm 139 and then Psalm 51. David was a man after God's own heart, but just like us -- He got impatient and forced things that were not God's will. He then prayed for God to fix everything -- God will only fix us and we have to trust and believe that His outcome after that is what is best.

This is a hard lesson -- but God punishes those He loves and through our suffering we learn obedience -- Jesus died to help us live this life -- open your heart to him and let him know everything -- use this time to focus on your daughter and God.
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sounds like very sound advice to me
 
S

singleparent

Guest
#11
#11
moving forward looking up and not back!!!!!!!!
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#12
#12
good for you!!
 
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Raeshelle

Guest
#13
#13
singleparent said:
I don't know if I can keep up my typing skills are lacking a lot but Raeshelle thank you for your response to heal it fells like an impossibility right now time may be what we need your right but at my age time is not as abundant as it was twenty years ago? Never would I have imagined that I would suffer two broken marriages,do you think its because I did'ent wait on the Lord and just did what I wonted ? By that I mean get married without waiting on him?
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Take tine to heal, you will know when it is time to move on, you are not that old, sheesh you still got alot of living to do. Guess we all learn the hard way to turn things over to God and let him lead us in all matters in our lives.
 
L

living2love

Guest
#14
#14
singleparent said:
My wife of seven years and I have separated as of two weeks ago I was crushed now me and my eleven year old daughter are liveing in our own home apart from her and my step daughter.
As if that wasn't bad enough in that time she has given herself to another man? My heart is broken even though I have taken it to our Lord the pain is almost unbearable.Is there any hope any answers? Why would she do that? I still love her but can never see us together agin,I know God defines adultery as an offense that as a man justifies my divorcing her and I have completed the divorce paperwork but I feel so lost so broken.
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Crash.......I have that very same story except after learning all the past two years my ex was haveing an affair with this guy and taking my 7yo son along for meny meetings and swore him not to tell his own Dad. Can you imagion what effects this must have had on my son? But To God Be The Glory three years later I'm good , in love with a very very strong christian lady(Angel) and my son is living with me BECAUSE he can't trust her.lol The guy she moved in with has called to beg me to make her quit calling him, she wrecked his truck and life in two short years......"Nauh you hang on to her"
Crash Our Lord knows ALL not just alittle lay your Faith in him, that was the time that I got the closet to him and he delivered like you wouldn't belive. Fell free to call me I got a testimony for ya buddy!
 
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HeatherJones

Guest
#15
#15
Dont live your life by polls. There is only one opinion that matters and He will answer you when you ask and listen for Him. God knows the furture and what is best for your daughter. I am praying for you.
Heather
 
A

asamanthinketh

Guest
#16
#16
she was your wife and you loved her, of course your heart is broken and you are hurting. she may never be the source of your healing. but maybe for the time being you can take comfort and find joy in that you have a daughter. kids are always a lifter of spirits.
 
S

singleparent

Guest
#17
#17
10/4 its gotten easy as the days have passed that kind of scares me a bit for this to get easy it almost seems I am forgetting the love and friendship we shared but I can't really dwell on it right? would'ent that be detrimental?Love is long in suffering dos'ent he say that? So the question is I guess how long do we suffer or wait?
 
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OreoSoleil

Guest
#18
#18
Yeah -- I've been praying for confirmation from God --to either take this burden from me or help me during it. But i know either way i need his strength.
 
S

singleparent

Guest
#19
#19
Well it has'ent been easy especially when she says how happy she is and how much better off she fells since we have separated. OreoSoleil I to have been praying every night every day maby just maby that's whats been helping the pain and getting me through the days?Well I cant discount my little girl she has been a big comfort you know my allway's running after her telling her to settle down cleaning house I think I have become a cleaning monster.Anyway all you in cyber land have been such an insperation to me without your guidance and well wishes this would have been much harder so in that thankyou.
DAVID
 
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