Deadly guilt

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jordache
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Jordache

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I was barely a teen when I did something that at the time I didn't even realize I was doing. It ate at me my whole life. The other person involved didn't know it happened, but I knew I was the worst person in the world event though I didn't even realize what had been done until it was over. I vowed to myself that I would carry this to my death, and I ignore many instances when I could have confessed my guilt. I had confessed it to the Lord thousands of times. I NEVER was tempted to do it again. I NEVER imagined or dreamed of it. I NEVER accidentally did it either. Even with true repentance it ate at me.
I was involved in a group recently where we had a night of confession. In a secret act, I wrote what I had deemed my unpardonable sin on a card, never considering that I would actually share it. I was still determined to take it to my grave. However, in our small group time, my mind went absolutely blank and I had no other thoughts in my hwead except for that one instant. In between tears and heaving, I told my group what I had done in about 5 words. I couldn't talk afterward. I couldn't open my mouth. It was too shameful. It was too horrific, but I knew I'd done what God asked of me. Even though He had forgiven my impulsive youthful sin, I had not forgiven myself and let go of any guilt I felt. Because of that sin, I always though I was going to grow up into some kind of monster.
The next day I woke up and realized that it had no hold on me any more. I was not a monster and it wasn't going to define me.
 
Praise God, if we think about the consequences of holding on to what we thought unpardonable sin (according to the devil) we will only be missing out on the blessings that God has destined for us. When Christ touches our heart through His word, we will automatically want to allow the cleansing power of his blood does His work in our lives until we are as white as snow without blemish. Only then we can truly enjoy being set free from all bondage of sin and death in our lives. More importantly we will begin to enjoy life to the full as Christ intents us to once we are reconcile unto him.
 
"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." amen!
 
He has this amazing way of being able to take our shame completely away from us. His love is SO BIG that we just cannot grasp fully what it truly means. Our minds are not able to in this human body. I felt it the night I swear I visited heaven one night when I went to sleep. It was completion of ones soul. It was home. It was grace. It was everything lovely. Those words everything lovely just cannot even describe it really. Like the tip of the iceberg. I am happy that he freed you from what help you a prisioner with in your soul. We are not bound but we are free through our Christ and Lord. (((grinz))) Tis a beautiful feeling to know the truth of that within your soul huh?
 
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