Have you ever had those days where you have unspeakable joy, but also at the same time have deep depression? That was me today. Not because I had to work. Not because I am alone most of the time...actually that is something that has to do with it. I am trying to become joyful instead of depressed which is where I have been staying these past few months. I hate talking about it. But when I do talk about it, it always makes me feel a whole lot better. Right now, I am at that state where nothing can bring joy. I just wish that depression didn't exist because it forces you to crawl into bed and cry over how alone you feel. It doesn't matter what other people say like when they tell you constantly that you're not alone. That you have friends and everything. I don't know why I feel so isolated from the world. People need to realize the fact that I don't have a mental disorder called "depression". I have chosen to be this way and I am trying to dig myself out of it. I surround myself with people who are positively lifting me up every step of my days. It gives me enough strength to keep fighting. I get terrified because what if God never sends me a husband? Because the thing I don't understand is why aren't guys interested in me? Like, I try wayyyy to hard to get a boyfriend. Let alone get a date. All of my friends have been getting married and such...
I just wish this all would stop.
I just wish this all would stop.