Did I do the wrong thing?

[ShyForHim]

When I woke up today, I've spoken to my parents how bad is to drink alcohol (my mother doesn't drink but I sort of targeted my father and uncle) and explained how that is making someone's life impossible. I was sort of angry on the inside but tried to keep my cool.

My dad has been here in Norway for more than half a year and there's always a stupid excuse to drink alcohol, whether it's some party, birthday or whatever. I find that poor of an excuse.

I turned to my mother and also explained her problem with the smoking. She knows it's bad but somewhat cannot stop (only can when biting blocks of ice, weird addiction, I say) Whatever the case, maybe I'm not great at medicine at all, but I know what happens when getting into those stuff: alcohol and smoking.

My father knows he messed it up but keeps acting like a child and keeps grabbing a beer. So, did I do the good thing in actually speaking the "obvious" truth and sort of "complain"?

 

[wwjd_kilden]

I don't think you were wrong to talk to them, but remember that it is not your responsibility to have them quit.

Norway has a strange alcohol culture, while I don't think Norwegians drink more than others, it seems they "save up" and drink larger amounts at a given time (at parties and birthdays like you said). I understand your worries, as alcohol is very much accepted in today's society.

Are your parents in a Christian fellowship with people their own age? It might be more natural for them to listen to them. (not because you are any lesser than them, but because once you start to feel "adult", you tend to take up a very defensive position if someone much younger than you point out something negative you do which you know they are right about).

 

[ShyForHim]

I don't think you were wrong to talk to them, but remember that it is not your responsibility to have them quit.

Norway has a strange alcohol culture, while I don't think Norwegians drink more than others, it seems they "save up" and drink larger amounts at a given time (at parties and birthdays like you said). I understand your worries, as alcohol is very much accepted in today's society.

Are your parents in a Christian fellowship with people their own age? It might be more natural for them to listen to them. (not because you are any lesser than them, but because once you start to feel "adult", you tend to take up a very defensive position if someone much younger than you point out something negative you do which you know they are right about).

No, of course I can't force them to quit, but I want them to know how it affects me, when I barely complain or say anything against it.

The problem is, that they're not Christian. They're Catholic and I'm surprised they're somehow still together. My mom often threatens to divorce my father but as she said "I won't care what you think."

Since we're originally Polish, my dad has that tendency to drink a lot. When we still lived in Spain, he was limited, but now he just goes and drinks a ton, mainly because of his "friends", who also drink.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

I didn't mean force, I meant that you should not feel as if it is you who is responsible for them. They make their own decisions. You should not feel bad about not saying anything against it when they themselves know it is wrong.

Pray for them, and live your life as an example to follow. It is difficult to make people change their ways, but by living your life according to Gods word, you will be a witness to them. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.

 

[Ugly]

I don't know about your father, but if your mother is smoking cigarettes, she's addicted. And you should learn more about the difficulties of breaking addictions before expecting people to just 'quit' like it's no effort. It would be great if they would hear what you say, and make an effort to get the help to quit, but the likelihood of that happening after on conversation is slim. These addictions have years of basis and it will take more than one conversation to motivate someone.
And in some cases, people just refuse. I know of a woman who smoked for most of her life. She went out of the country on a trip, and while there, ended up in the hospital. Something about the flight triggered some problem in her lungs. Once she was seen in the hospital, they found that her lungs were completely coated in tar from smoking. They were so sure she was going to die, they had her death certificate filled out, except for the time. Somehow she survived. At she kept smoking. She could've died within hours, and still made not as much as an effort to quit.
So sometimes nothing can make people quit. I don't blame you for trying, but keep these things in mind.

 

[ShyForHim]

I don't know about your father, but if your mother is smoking cigarettes, she's addicted. And you should learn more about the difficulties of breaking addictions before expecting people to just 'quit' like it's no effort. It would be great if they would hear what you say, and make an effort to get the help to quit, but the likelihood of that happening after on conversation is slim. These addictions have years of basis and it will take more than one conversation to motivate someone.
And in some cases, people just refuse. I know of a woman who smoked for most of her life. She went out of the country on a trip, and while there, ended up in the hospital. Something about the flight triggered some problem in her lungs. Once she was seen in the hospital, they found that her lungs were completely coated in tar from smoking. They were so sure she was going to die, they had her death certificate filled out, except for the time. Somehow she survived. At she kept smoking. She could've died within hours, and still made not as much as an effort to quit.
So sometimes nothing can make people quit. I don't blame you for trying, but keep these things in mind.

I try to encourage them to stop but I know my father won't do it so fast. I personally don't know him so much, knowing he spent many years outside in other countries because of jobs and economy in general. All I know is, he won't stop until he sees that my mother is about to leave him.

I honestly prefer my mother to eat the ice cubes, they're not as dangerous as cigarettes but still can be harmful in my opinion. Whatever the case, I can only pray.

 

[Fenner]

I'm glad you told them how it affects you. I could help them get the motivation to stop. I hope they will try. I know it's frustrating to watch someone you love do something over and over that is hurting them. God bless you.

 

[sandtigeress]

You did the right thing, in telling them, that it bothers you.
That is an information they needed, what they do with the informtion is up to them.

Sometimes addictions are part of an underliing problem, a chrutch to deal with something (lonelyness or overwork).
Sometimes it is "only" a habit.

Often one does not see, that it has developed into an addictions, so it was good to tell them, that you are concerned.

You can now pray that they understand, if it is addictive and if the could stop, whenever they want to.

 

[homwardbound]

No, but this is my take on drinking as when I used to do it, and one day saw that it was not good for me to do

DRINKING
​

Why is it so popular? Does drinking really drown out the pain one is feeling? Does it really cause one to relax?

I say only temporarily. It does temporarily feel good and one does let go of their inhibitions, and do things that they can blame on the drinking. If I had not been drunk, I would not have done that. Not normally, you are right, but you have obviously thought about it, for what you think about comes out in drinking, reveals itself.

Okay, so you can control your drinking too much. When things go catastrophic, do you turn to the bottle to get solace? If you do, then you are on your way to destroying yourself and others that care for you. For when alcohol takes over, then alcohol is your master keeping you under control to use it too often. Is this you? It was me a long time ago. I did not go a day without drinking. I had to drink to be sober. Alcohol was sustaining me to live each day, drowning my thoughts of adversity, troubles that I had encountered and did not know how to deal with. Alcohol became my way to deal with life’s troubles that occurred past, at that time and for the future. You see I did not care, for the thoughts that had taken over my mind were too much, and drinking drowned out those depressing thoughts. How about you? Do you concur? Now know this; it does not have to be alcohol that one is dependent on. It could be having a wife, a husband a friend, or anything in this world, that you might obsess on. looking to fill that void in your heart.

Whatever you find solace in, brings you temporary peace of mind you will do that or buy that, until you get no more peace of mind. And the entire world and its fake beauty of man made things, only gives temporal peace.

All things made by man are temporary, even the beauty of the world will pass on.

Anyway folks, things of this world, Alcohol, drugs, joking, working, keeping busy, are all misplaced dependencies’ to keep you happy. For none of these things can keep you content, whether rich or poor.

Alcohol is a misplaced dependency in order to keep you sane, along with drugs, it does not work been there.

Then when you try to quit you are told you can but once an alcoholic always one. What a load of manure. You see if you bite into that hook always one. How can one ever escape? You know what an alcoholic does when quitting alcohol he transfers his dependency from alcohol to the ones that say once an alcoholic always one. Now you are dependent on the ones that told you this lie.

So see through to this, transfer your dependency to God, Jesus Christ, go to the Father through the finished work of Christ, asking for the Holy Ghost to interpret, in order to see through that you need nothing else except the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. I know been dry for 28 years now that Father has shown me to depend on him for all my needs, thus I do not need anything else for he sustains me and can do the same for you, it starts with seeking and believing, going through many travails, just keep believing and you will see through to the end forever and be sustained no matter what happens. I have found this is the way to be content as Paul was in all things even in jail. No weapon when in Christ can ever prosper against you the believer. No one can snatch you out of his hand, as long as you believe. Once you have believed long enough you eventually see truth for what truth is and when you do through all the adversity you have gone through you see it was all worth it, and I know once this is seen you will never go back to the garbage can (this world) again, for from the time you see the truth that you are at the kings table, for your focus leaves this world and its cares that beset you off into anger, frustration, anxiety. You are thus free from under the law of this world and its cares, even as you now do the law of love for you are now born again unto the Spirit of God. You are no longer of the flesh, which is enmity with God.

Alleluia Brothers and Sisters, Be ye free and out from underneath the letter of the law unto the law of liberty, through belief and belief alone, God will show me, i do not know how nor do i care how, I just know God will, everyone else is a liar except God. read the word for yourself, asking God to reveal you the truth, and you will see the truth that sets you free.

Your brother in Christ

 

[homwardbound]

To tell others they got to do this or that usually solidifies that person told to do this or that in continuing in that behavior
.
telling that person that you Love them regardless and would like for them to see what it might be doing to them, then they might take a look and possibly see
error always takes occassion by the commandment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So do not command others instead entreat others and let them see for themselves and they will eventually

 

[homwardbound]

but one thing good out of this you got it off your chest and told them how you feel. When things of things not right in our Souls, and we do not confess trhem out build up and the longer iot builds up the more frustration it comes to, kind of like a pimple, the bigger, the longer the bigger the explosion. That is why it good to speak truth about how one feels. to get it off their chest and not build up into an explosion. Now if one is offende dofr one being honest, then tell that one you needed to get it off your mind, how you felt and then say would you rather me lie, and hold it in?
So in this respect you did great