Dilema of the Heart

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famu20bly

Guest
#1
#1
If I can be truthful. I am in love with a man in prison. Truthfully, I never thought I'd be in this position. I don't believe that he did the crime that he was convicted for and I actually sent letters to many organizations on his behalf. I would have never chosen him for myself for many reason, but now that I know him so completely I can't imagine my life without him. I realize to a lot of people I sound very foolish, but what if just like Joseph he was incarcerated so that he could be raised to a position of Honor and God could be glorified. I have dreamed about him twice and I don't recall dreams very often but these are seared in my memory. In the first dream he was in my bedroom sitting on my bed when he gave me a peck on the lips. After that he went to use my bathroom and as he was going in the bathroom a dark shadowy figure of a man was coming out of the bathroom. I must point out that the shadow did not come from him and it was clear to me that it was totally separate from him in the dream. And that is the end of that dream. In the second dream, I dreamed that I wrote an article about his situation and the article got published. After it was published I sent it to him and I saw him in a jail cell smiling as he read the article. I can't say I know what either of these dreams mean and the one with the shadow left me with a bad feeling. The other dream I just took at face value. Anyway I said all this to see what other people think. Please be respectful in your responses.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
I don't place a lot of faith in dream interpretation. True, the bible does mention God giving us dreams, but that does not mean every dream has a God giving message. I would suggest setting the dreams aside and praying that if they are from God He will send a person to specifically speak to you on those. Otherwise, be cautious of putting much in dreams. Most of that stems from new age oriented thinking anyways.
Now, onto the main point. No one can really say for a fact what you should or shouldn't do. But reality all convicts are 'innocent', or so they claim. Sure, some actually are, but most are not. Also, it is quite common for convicts to form romances on the outside. Sometimes multiple romances. They enjoy the extra money, food, and options of what they're going to do when they get out.
Typically when he gets he'll want to move in together, get married fast. If you're going to pursue this, you need to be thought out, planned out, you need to know what you will and won't do when he's released. I would suggest that he cannot move in, stay with you, crash on your couch, etc.. He needs to prove himself to be wanting and willing to become self sufficient. Do not marry him for At Least a year after being released. These are ways to prove his feelings for you are genuine and hes not a typical convict using a woman. No sexual talk, or conduct of any kind. Not only is this the biblical standard, but it prevents you from forming emotional bonds that will allow you to be taken advantage of easier. Or confuse his sense of lust for love after being locked up.
Bottom line, be cautious, go very slow, be guarded. And of course, pray for guidance.
 
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frankleespeaking

Guest
#3
#3
what was the crime he is accused of
 
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famu20bly

Guest
#4
#4
I never game him any money. The only thing I have given him is friendship and visits. He already knows that he can't live with me and has plenty of supportive family. I am trying my best to do things God's way.
 
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frankleespeaking

Guest
#5
#5
famu20bly said:
I never game him any money. The only thing I have given him is friendship and visits. He already knows that he can't live with me and has plenty of supportive family. I am trying my best to do things God's way.
Click to expand...

why can't he live with you?......is his crime against children
 
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Miguel7

Guest
#6
#6
Re: Dilema of the Heart - Observed

oh the challenge of emotions and thoughts, ugh!

It sounds like to me that your dreams are caused by sub-concious coping. in other words, this relationship is on your concious mind so much, that your mind is also trying to deal with it in your sleep. This does not indicate "a dream from the Lord" or a prophetic dream. Is it possible the dream about the shadow is God inspired? Yes. But, IF it is, there are several things that will usually go along with it.

1. It will never contradict the Bible. 2. Time will tell, prophetic dreams always come true eventually and are worth waiting to see if they do come true or not. 3. God will usually confirm the content of the dream by one or more other sources. Another strong christian, the bible etc.

I would to hate to see you pour so much into this person only to get let down later. If you have a trusted pastor, lady friend or counselor, i would encourage you to consider opening this topic open to them as well. To challenge you if it is an unhealthy obsession or the beginning of a potential long term relationship. If this consumes all of your "ministry time" i would be very concerned.

May God guide you in wisdom, through the Holy Spirit to all the blessings He has for you.
 
Devoted2JC

Devoted2JC

Senior Member
#7
Jan 16, 2011
4,260
77
48
#7
Hello welcome to Christian Chat
God Bless,
 
F

famu20bly

Guest
#8
#8
When I say he can't live with me, I mean that no man can until I'm married to him, with the exception of relatives of course.
 
D

destiny

Guest
#9
#9
Take it easy and be prayerful about d issue to no God's mind
 
F

frankleespeaking

Guest
#10
#10
famu20bly said:
When I say he can't live with me, I mean that no man can until I'm married to him, with the exception of relatives of course.
Click to expand...

I think an important factor to this story is what is he in prison for?........certainly the decision is weighed by whether he was previously a axe murderer or he stole a bag of groceries
 
F

famu20bly

Guest
#11
#11
frankleespeaking said:
I think an important factor to this story is what is he in prison for?........certainly the decision is weighed by whether he was previously a axe murderer or he stole a bag of groceries
Click to expand...
He's in prison for lewd a lacivious molestation of a minor. It is alleged that he touched the breast of one of his students. I was molested as a child so if I thought that he was actually guilty I would never even contemplate having a life with him. I've known him for several years now and I've researched the case personally and even written an article on it that I hope to get published. I don't believe that he is innocent because that is what he tells me I have looked into his case. I've seen interrogation videos, police reports and numerous statements. Believe me, I am in no way naive. On the surface most people believe that the system works, but that depends on who you ask. If you are poor or a minority you are treated differently. If you are ignorant of the system you are treated differently and the truth is most people are ignorant of the system and the many nuances that can drastically sway your fate regardless of your innocence or guilt. I've also pray about about this situation many times over, but I wanted to get others opinions. So frankleespeaking now that you know that charge weigh in an tell me what you think. And I mean no disrespect when I say this but are you already operating on the assumption that he is guilty? Because frankly if he I thought he was guilty I wouldn't even consider being with him.

I just want to give you some background. There was no physical evidence in his case. He was convicted based solely on the statements of a female student who gave three different versions of her statement. She initially told the police nothing happened and then came back an hour later with a new story. She then gave another version sometime later that had even more details. She would just add more and more each time. On the interrogation video the I saw the officer on at least two occasions show the girl the statement that was written out prior to the recording, because she could not remember what she said. I know that trauma can cause memory suppression, but if you make a statement and then can't remember it 30 minutes to an hour later there is a serious problem with that. So these are just a few of the background details, but I don't have time to give them all to you. Also one final point the only thing on his record prior to this charge are traffic infractions.
 
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