Do the good guys give up too easily?

[jandian]

Well done....all things through prayer

 

[Kooper]

Oh yeah. It's apart of that: The meek shall inherit the earth mentality.

Hehehe.

jk.

 

[Ugly]

I would just like to point out that though Julieanna is referring to a 'Stud' that its not me shes actually talking about... its another stud. Just so no one's confused

 

[Jullianna]

That fur and a drum set like that alone would melt any woman's heart, Sir

 

[zeroturbulence]

We've had some threads about good guys/bad guys, but this one is a little different (I hope).

I was talking with someone a few nights ago about something and wanted to know whether this happens to other ladies: You are talking with a really great guy who makes you think, laugh, etc., but then some studly dooright guy who can't put two words together comes up and interrupts the conversation, and the great smart nice guy just gives up, walks off and leaves me thinking NO! Don't LEAVE! Come back! *sigh*

I've been led to believe that nice christian ladies don't go after them, but if they are going to give up so easily, should we or not?

Catch the nice guy before he leaves and give him your number and email and tell him you hope to hear from him. It won't just show him you're interested, but it will also give a huge boost to his confidence. Next time some dude tries to interrupt, he will feel justified in telling that person that you and he are having a private conversation.

 

[GreenNnice]

Since you have decided to re-enter the conversation, I, too, have something to say now that you know the whole story. It would appear to me that a “stupid, weak” woman would not pause to take a step back and learn the whole story before deciding upon the wisest course of action; but would jump to conclusions with both feet and possible say judgmental things that can be forgiven, but not undone, and my friendship with him could have been irreparably damaged. As it is, my friendship with him remains intact. A side benefit is that an issue that is a huge red flag to me about entering into a relationship with him has been exposed. Perhaps this is why the scriptures say:

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath

----
I Yes , allfunfor, I concur, or, is that, 'agree,' I so in my green brains get things so mussed sometimes
I agree that for a girl to 'chase' after a guy is USUALLY not the Lord's leading (are we agreeing?)
And, that said, the showing 'interest,' as you alzó said allfunfor, is totally different.

By all means, show interest, and I would keep email out of it, simply say something like 'hey, nice talking to you , nice guy, see you soon,' or , and, IF that right there isn't a major HINT for nice guy then it's true, well of at least this nice guy...he wil finish last . Sorry, sadness had to be followed by humor green and nice face.

So, Yes, julieannie, don't just out foot in mouth and have situation crumble as Proverbs verses say a few times I think and James verse you said.

And, 'red flag ' is good to see, that is, if one compares it to a red light...

Working at same placer as someone you like too is a potential slow boil 'frog put in cold pot and then heat slowly turned up.so slowly that Frog boils to death without even trying to jump from pot' story comes to mind.

Be very careful dating co-workers. As is said, there are a lot of fish in the sea and LOSING a good job over a sexual harassmrnt lawsuit she (or could even be 'he' I 'spose ) would be a tough fish to swallow (sushi 'yellowtail comes to mind . Gag!).

 

[allforfun]

Since you have decided to re-enter the conversation, I, too, have something to say now that you know the whole story. It would appear to me that a “stupid, weak” woman would not pause to take a step back and learn the whole story before deciding upon the wisest course of action; but would jump to conclusions with both feet and possible say judgmental things that can be forgiven, but not undone, and my friendship with him could have been irreparably damaged. As it is, my friendship with him remains intact. A side benefit is that an issue that is a huge red flag to me about entering into a relationship with him has been exposed. Perhaps this is why the scriptures say:

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath

Well I am glad you feel vilified in whatever action you took. You got the pat on the back that you were looking for. But what you have missed by ALL of my posts and not just in this thread that over and over again from my perception you have implied any woman who does anything beyond smile and nod is a hussy and a "good lady" just sits back and shuts up. I stand by my statement. If a person interrupted a pleasant conversation I was having, I would intervene in that. I wouldn't just sit there and take it. I am glad you would and think it is wise. I wouldn't, but I refuse to think women like myself who would speak up are brainwashed feminists because we do something else.

This isn't about "swift judgements", it is about a person interrupting my personal space. I have the choice to make that not happen and to blame it on "bad boy" "good" boy" is a cop out in my opinion.

I'm glad you feel like all's well that ends well for you. But it really is about what was implied that is so grievous.

 

[GreenNnice]

Well I am glad you feel vilified in whatever action you took. You got the pat on the back that you were looking for. But what you have missed by ALL of my posts and not just in this thread that over and over again from my perception you have implied any woman who does anything beyond smile and nod is a hussy and a "good lady" just sits back and shuts up. I stand by my statement. If a person interrupted a pleasant conversation I was having, I would intervene in that. I wouldn't just sit there and take it. I am glad you would and think it is wise. I wouldn't, but I refuse to think women like myself who would speak up are brainwashed feminists because we do something else.

This isn't about "swift judgements", it is about a person interrupting my personal space. I have the choice to make that not happen and to blame it on "bad boy" "good" boy" is a cop out in my opinion.

I'm glad you feel like all's well that ends well for you. But it really is about what was implied that is so grievous.

---
It's the principle of the matter that matters most.

But, maybe, allfunfor, julieannie sees rudeguy more than niceguy or power is at play where if julieannie apeaks out she is making her workplace more sour.

Julieannie did say that nice guy said that he and rudeguy had some run-ins before ....

So, that said, it sounds to me like there was some envy going on, maybe.
It's getting late, my green wee brains thinking less and less straight, so, I understand that ítem grievous for rudeness to be tolerated by julieannie but... Sometimes not tolerating it, especially making a scene in a courtroom environment, could set off bitterness, hostility, étc in workplace. The
Lord leads

 

[Jullianna]

That's very gallant of you, GreenNnice. You are a true gentleman. What I did and did not say is clear to anyone who reads this thread, so don't worry about it. When someone chooses to judge how I live my life, it's still not right for me to reciprocate in that regard.

The situation I had asked about was pleasantly resolved to my satisfaction and I won't be cyberbullied into bowing to the feminist party line, so there's really nothing left to say here. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree, put your big girls pants on and move on.

 

[AsifinPassing]

We've had some threads about good guys/bad guys, but this one is a little different (I hope).

I was talking with someone a few nights ago about something and wanted to know whether this happens to other ladies: You are talking with a really great guy who makes you think, laugh, etc., but then some studly dooright guy who can't put two words together comes up and interrupts the conversation, and the great smart nice guy just gives up, walks off and leaves me thinking NO! Don't LEAVE! Come back! *sigh*

I've been led to believe that nice christian ladies don't go after them, but if they are going to give up so easily, should we or not?

Lol. Good question.

I try not to do that, but then...everyone is different.

Now, if she takes huge interest in the guy and basically ends our conversation to talk with him, then obviously he's a higher priority for her.

Lol. One thing girls and guys both have to learn is that we all think and feel very differently.

While one guy might think that's a test, the next might see it as rejection, and the next as a potential conflict he wants to avoid. It just depends on the person.

Now when you ask," should we?"...that's up to you.

 

[GreenNnice]

Lol. Good question.

I try not to do that, but then...everyone is different.

Now, if she takes huge interest in the guy and basically ends our conversation to talk with him, then obviously he's a higher priority for her.

Lol. One thing girls and guys both have to learn is that we all think and feel very differently.

While one guy might think that's a test, the next might see it as rejection, and the next as a potential conflict he wants to avoid. It just depends on the person.

Now when you ask," should we?"...that's up to you.

---
Well said, very.

The Lord leads, just, ultimately, pray in all things, all the time, and, just see how the Lord leads you , might be boldness, might be meekness. Whatever the situation, the outcome will be g-r-reat IF you've included God in the situation

 

[Liamson]

This is one of my all time Favorite threads. So.... *Bump*

 

[zeroturbulence]

Ressurectus Threadus in full effect yo.

 

[adekruif]

To answer the OP, yes. I know from experience.

 

[Nautilus]

Man never thought Id see the Jullianna started a nice guys finish last thread...

 

[Jullianna]

They don't unless they walk away, Nautilus

 

[Chr]

Maybe the guy had to pee and he doesn't tell people that? we don't know what others are thinking or why they did that so we sterotype sometimes,Its hard not to do that.I guess the only way find out is to ask him but is it worth it? Probably not. I know its frustrating I struggle with that.

 

[Chr]

God helps us, Praise God!!

 

[Donkeyfish07]

A lot of the really good people (not just guys) in this world are just shy. It might have taken them forever to come over and express any interest in you and they will get really nervous at a hint of competition or challenge. You just have to work with people like that if your interested.

 

[Nautilus]

They don't unless they walk away, Nautilus

Technically neither have i....