D
I guess I could also call it an "itch" as well. I'm sure some of you understand what I'm about to say, but sometimes I DO have doubts about either my ability, my subject matter, or how I am received with what I say.
I've always had this weird thirst/itch/urge to LEARN about everything I could get my hands on about Christianity, God, His Word, and Christian spirituality. I have a good 100 some Christian books on every single subject you could think of, and I've read them all multiple times. I've read the Bible cover to cover multiple times as well, and have done in both with commentary, concordances, and without.
Anyway, this always happens in "seasons" as I like to call it. It isn't an on switch that's on all the time, but it is something I feel SOMETIMES, and I just cannot help it. I randomly (and I mean, completely random) get these urges to learn about some verse of scripture or a subject matter, and I just cannot stop myself from studying, studying, studying from learning everything I can about it. Usually, I feel that God is pushing me, and He wants to reveal something to me that I either did not know before, or something that others may not know themselves.
After I do all this homework (and I HATE homework and studying, so I know it has to be from the Lord!), I feel like I HAVE to write it down and post it somewhere, like on CC.com, or I have to teach SOMEONE about whatever I've learned. I have never been able to explain it, and many people in my life have found it weird and maybe unnatural. I really can't explain it, but I know it occurs quite a bit. Maybe I'm just receiving "seasons" of the Lord's presence. I just sometimes am not so sure about myself when it comes to that.
My overall big concern is that I never want to be a "wolf in sheep's clothing" as the Bible put it so well. I always worry about what I'm saying, if I'm misleading myself and others, and if this truly does come from the Lord. Usually, I do so much studying that I finally realize that it MUST have come from His urging, but I still can never truly explain it. It isn't like I've ever received a vision, seen a burning bush, heard a loud audible voice saying "DO THIS MY SON!" or anything of the nature. There is nothing about God speaking to me, but just an unnatural "push" in my mind that gives me this unnatural hunger to not only learn, but to teach whatever it is I've learned.
Can anyone relate to this? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that this happens to. I admittedly don't hang around church groups, extremely devout Christian friends, or anyone that really can relate to me in that area, even my own family, who are very devout themselves. I've always grown up in that atmosphere of Christianity, at least in my own family, but I don't know anyone else in my family who has this type of urge.
I guess my question really is: How do you know if you've been called to teach? I was in the military for quite a few years, and I was an electronics technician on a submarine in the US Navy. When I got out, I went to Purdue for a while for Electrical Engineering, as that was just a natural progression from the experience I already had. Despite knowing what I was doing, for whatever reason I had to change my major. Eventually, after quite a few 'changes', I became an English/Writing/Secondary Education major. I guess I'm going to be a teacher, although who knows with the way I change things up so much! I've always heard that if you don't know what you want to do in your life, you become a teacher. I just wonder if perhaps this is what the Lord wants me to do, or maybe it should be teaching a different subject than English/Writing? I don't know.
So... has anyone else have this type of experience in their lives, and can anyone else relate? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one I know who does this, and it bothers me I guess. I'm quite sure it isn't a bad thing, but I still am never completely sure about it. Sometimes I wish I would just get a post it note stuck to my head at night that says "DO THIS MY SON!"
If you can relate, please share your experiences, and perhaps... give any advice you may have! I just want to make sure I'm doing what I should be, rather than teaching something that "may" not be from the Lord. I'm very very very particular with that, because that would bother me more than anything else. I usually hold back with what I've learned unless I can almost completely confirm it through every source imaginable, the Bible the most important of course.
I've always had this weird thirst/itch/urge to LEARN about everything I could get my hands on about Christianity, God, His Word, and Christian spirituality. I have a good 100 some Christian books on every single subject you could think of, and I've read them all multiple times. I've read the Bible cover to cover multiple times as well, and have done in both with commentary, concordances, and without.
Anyway, this always happens in "seasons" as I like to call it. It isn't an on switch that's on all the time, but it is something I feel SOMETIMES, and I just cannot help it. I randomly (and I mean, completely random) get these urges to learn about some verse of scripture or a subject matter, and I just cannot stop myself from studying, studying, studying from learning everything I can about it. Usually, I feel that God is pushing me, and He wants to reveal something to me that I either did not know before, or something that others may not know themselves.
After I do all this homework (and I HATE homework and studying, so I know it has to be from the Lord!), I feel like I HAVE to write it down and post it somewhere, like on CC.com, or I have to teach SOMEONE about whatever I've learned. I have never been able to explain it, and many people in my life have found it weird and maybe unnatural. I really can't explain it, but I know it occurs quite a bit. Maybe I'm just receiving "seasons" of the Lord's presence. I just sometimes am not so sure about myself when it comes to that.
My overall big concern is that I never want to be a "wolf in sheep's clothing" as the Bible put it so well. I always worry about what I'm saying, if I'm misleading myself and others, and if this truly does come from the Lord. Usually, I do so much studying that I finally realize that it MUST have come from His urging, but I still can never truly explain it. It isn't like I've ever received a vision, seen a burning bush, heard a loud audible voice saying "DO THIS MY SON!" or anything of the nature. There is nothing about God speaking to me, but just an unnatural "push" in my mind that gives me this unnatural hunger to not only learn, but to teach whatever it is I've learned.
Can anyone relate to this? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that this happens to. I admittedly don't hang around church groups, extremely devout Christian friends, or anyone that really can relate to me in that area, even my own family, who are very devout themselves. I've always grown up in that atmosphere of Christianity, at least in my own family, but I don't know anyone else in my family who has this type of urge.
I guess my question really is: How do you know if you've been called to teach? I was in the military for quite a few years, and I was an electronics technician on a submarine in the US Navy. When I got out, I went to Purdue for a while for Electrical Engineering, as that was just a natural progression from the experience I already had. Despite knowing what I was doing, for whatever reason I had to change my major. Eventually, after quite a few 'changes', I became an English/Writing/Secondary Education major. I guess I'm going to be a teacher, although who knows with the way I change things up so much! I've always heard that if you don't know what you want to do in your life, you become a teacher. I just wonder if perhaps this is what the Lord wants me to do, or maybe it should be teaching a different subject than English/Writing? I don't know.
So... has anyone else have this type of experience in their lives, and can anyone else relate? Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one I know who does this, and it bothers me I guess. I'm quite sure it isn't a bad thing, but I still am never completely sure about it. Sometimes I wish I would just get a post it note stuck to my head at night that says "DO THIS MY SON!"
If you can relate, please share your experiences, and perhaps... give any advice you may have! I just want to make sure I'm doing what I should be, rather than teaching something that "may" not be from the Lord. I'm very very very particular with that, because that would bother me more than anything else. I usually hold back with what I've learned unless I can almost completely confirm it through every source imaginable, the Bible the most important of course.