Okie dokie well first off I should give my testimony and how this all began its going to be long so those of you that get bored just skip this one lol...
Well I grew up in a Christian household, I always heard about The Trinity, but never really payed attention to it, I started listening to it until I began private school at my church, it was basically homeschool (abekaacademy) with babysitters.. In bible class I was learning about the crucifixion of Christ and how we're all sinners and only saved by his grace and accepting him into our hearts. After hearing that I remember feeling so guilty and worthless and not worthy to be saved I was only 9yrs old. The next day we had chapel service I can't really recall everything my principal was saying but I remember him saying who wants to accept Christ and I remember just getting up and crying my eyes out saying I wanted too but didn't know if he would accept me, I remember repeating what I was told but also asking God to forgive me and to accept me and enter my heart.. I remember feeling weightless and with so much peace I was so happy finally feeling loved by someone. After this years passed and I always prayed and fasted but I always had questions about the sermons I was taught but was always told never to question my leader because God revealed him everything he knows. I was homeschooled for 7-12 still in the same program (abeka) but I always seemed to lean on what was taught in bible class rather then in my church. This made it very difficult and I wasn't allowed to hangout or talk to people outside my church let alone chat online with people I never knew. So on December 9, 2012 I was told by my pastor to fast an extreme way no food of course but also no water for 3 days to prepare myself to finally be baptized with the Holy Spirit. I remember asking the pastor that didn't I already have the Holy Spirit in me since I became a believer and he just didn't know what to answer me at all, he said that I was already baptized in water and next was fire so I did as I was told and didn't eat nor drink but after the 2nd day beginning the 3rd day I felt so sick like I was about to faint I wanted water so bad but I wanted to be baptized by the Holy Spirit even more I remember just walking into my bedroom and just seeing everything go black and my mother screaming and just throwing water on me I woke up and remember being so upset with her because she did this I was scared God would see my disobedience and not baptize me.... Sunday came and I remember the pastor asking everyone to walk to the pulpit and just pray I did I remember just begging God to baptize me with his fire now the experience I had I will never forget I remember basically going deaf and not hearing anyone around me I remember feeling chills all over my skin and my body felt like I was on fire from head to toe and I was asking God if that was him, next I remember somebody placing their hand on the back of my head now when this happened I was scared and opened my eyes to see who it was but there was nobody very close to me so I continued to pray and I heard a voice inside my head telling me to repeat what he was saying and that I would be baptized I didn't want too I was scared but then my pastor put his hands on me and told me don't fight with the spirit just say what he is telling you just let go so I did once I opened my mouth to say what it was telling me everything went blank and all I remember is hearing the pastor say that's it you've been baptized by the spirit. After this encounter I tried praying but I felt so faraway from God like he didn't hear me anymore I tried praying in tongues yet I couldn't I didn't know how. so I remember going on to the web and just looking up spiritual tongues and seeing everything about it how it's not biblical tongues from the bible, but that it might even be demonic after reading this I was terrified and wanted to chat with someone about it so I went into a Christian chat room and asked about it I was told that the devil basically entered me and blasphemed against God and that I should just kill myself and go to hell.. This made things even worse I started questioning everything but I couldn't tell my pastor about it because if I would I would be disciplined for breaking the church rules so then I finally found Christian Chat and was amazed by the comments I got by some Christians some said I was blessed but then others told me to read my bible and to study for myself and ask God for wisdom and to open my eyes to see if what I believe is right.. At this point I didn't know what to believe but after reading my bible and seeing that my church was wrong and legalistic it was hard to sit in sermons and not question the pastor about everything, yet I was told that I had the spirit of rebellion in me and to pray to be set free, after a year of this I started talking to my now boyfriend (Forthangel) many of you know him and know what he believes about tongues *babbling* he's the complete opposite of me and this made me ask him everything he basically was my teacher the only one I could ask and he wouldn't tell me to stop questioning everything, when we started dating I knew I would get in trouble eventually because my church won't allow members to date outside the church we've always been told we would be unevenly yoked if we did date outside because well they were Christian but not like my church our church is different we are Gods remnant that only my church new the truth and only we would be able to see Christ while all the other Christians will be out in the courtyard of heaven and I really believed this once so when my pastor eventually found out thru Facebook "which is used by the devil." (According to him) He told me that God revealed to him on Facebook that I was breaking the rules and questioning the church and the Holy Spirit and worse that I had a boyfriend, who believed my church is a cult, he was upset with me for basically breaking all the rules including not telling him if I could date.... So after hearing an earful about my boyfriend being the antichrist and me being with him would make me go to hell and that if I marry him not only he will go but my children and I also because my boyfriend has no way of salvation that he's basically a lost soul for God and he gave me an ultimatum saying its your boyfriend or the church this made me think and I said you're making me choose between God and my BF? He said no "the church or your boyfriend".. so after he told me that I choose my boyfriend I was already attending a new church close to my house but didn't tell him because that was another rule broken.... So after being condemned and basically shunned by everyone I ever called family and friends I didn't sleep nor eat it was really hard, still is really, but once I start to remember what I was taught by my old church, I finally see that it is a cult and I'm glad God helped me get out of there and finally be in a church that preaches the True Gospel and I'm not disciplined for asking questions.. Theirs a lot more to say about my old church but I'll probably make another thread about that theirs just so much I'll probably never finish I cut it short even though this took me 3hrs just to write this....
