family influence

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Jullianna

Guest
#1
What impact does your family have on the men/women you date or want to be with, if any? Why/why not?
 

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
Jul 19, 2011
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#2
Because I came from a middle upper class family that is where I tend to "look" for a mate. I was always told by my parents not to date anyone that would bring me down. Well, I didn't listen to them.

I'm climbing back up da ladder now. :D

Oh, and most of all I should have a Godly man.


Now, my aunts and uncles think I should find some rich guy whether I love him or not just so they can brag about it.....but they are stupid. And unhappily married.
 
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Lecrae

Guest
#3
My family makes me feel discouraged to find a significant other...not because they're trying to protect me, more along the lines of them being a dysfunctional family and I wouldn't want my significant other to go through the stress, gossip, and awkward moments that my family would put her through.
 
May 6, 2011
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#4
yeah me and my folks have basically completely different opinions, so thats just how it goes
 
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Bobbyking

Guest
#5
Hi

I always remind & encourage my daughters (over meals, in the car, before sleeping) to have clean outdoor fun with both boys and girls, and meet as many godly men and also godly women as possible before settling down on a particular person. As to single dates, they know that they are a little young to do that at the moment. I also acknowledged that I can't control them in this area BUT I always remind them what they are looking for in a man. Of course, they have lots of things to say about this (and sometimes it's really fun to hear from them). At the end of the day, I always add in this little seed: Whatever man they decide, he MUST ALWAYS DRAW YOU CLOSER TO CHRIST. And my wife would add a little from her perspective.
 
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babarainbowsheep

Guest
#6
I dont think they have so much influence.
My Mother said she thinks it is important that I have a mature partner and I agree.
Someone who will love, care, respect and treat you well and have good relationship with.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#7
My parents and I are very different...especially my mom. My mom doesn't like guys around me at all, and she has difficulty liking my guy friends. They expect a perfect guy( for them) so...they don't have so much of an impact in what I'm looking for. I just hope the guy I date doesn't run away after meeting my family:p
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#8
My parents are creepy and pushy.

They think I'm going to be old and single forever because I rarely date but I have a lot of female friends.

I'm a little picky and that bothers them. They just want me to find someone nice and I have other ideas. So explaining to them the qualities I see in someone I like is a lot like explaining to someone why a sports car makes for better transportation than a Japanese mid size sedan.

Long story short, we don't really get each other, not even a little bit.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#9
Your family sounds much like mine, Liamson. I know they worry about me being alone, but they just don't get that I know I would never be happy settling for less than the relationship I want.
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#10
My family would be ecstatic just to hear that I have a date.
 
A

allforfun

Guest
#11
I have taken every idealist idea that my family filled my head with and thrown them all out.
 
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babarainbowsheep

Guest
#12
Some of my family did try to separate me a couple yrs ago from my loved one.
I said "derico derico and patted my heart" I was angry and upset and then heartbroken etc.
Im not sure all that went on there.
Made to ly down in green pastures..

Not all my family love and care for me or wish me well, on the contrary.

Dreamt Jesus was my matchmaker.
Nice dream.
Better he matchmake than parents as such.... :)
 

Liamson

Senior Member
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#13
This perhaps is a subject for another thread but a lot of what my family and extended family takes into practice is a love of small children. This seems innocuous enough but, children grow into adults eventually. As if the shadow of childhood cuteness gets too long, when children in our family begin to become teenagers and young adults, our parental figures go into hiding. Which seems to leave a rather large vacuous hole where any influence good or bad is allowed to go unchecked. Most of my cousins were pregnant teenagers as girls and the boys were always in trouble with drugs and the law. If it wasn't for Christ and the church, I'm sure a similar fate would have derailed me.

I want my children (if I ever wind up having any) to be raised with the expectation that they will become adults. Children are more to me than just a desire to have something of my own doing or for someone I am responsible for to have more than I did growing up. I want something else, something that follows them like wisdom and understanding. I know it sounds cheesy like something every parent SHOULD want but, I know how it happens because I've seen it work.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#14
Perhaps if parents realized, as we discussed last night in the Bible Study room, that our children don't belong to us, they might adjust their attitudes in this regard. God blesses our lives with children and has expectations of us as to how we are to raise them. We will stand before Him and give account for this. It's both sobering and heart-warming.

When you see the Lord in your child, it touches you like nothing else I've ever known.

My heart truly breaks for kids all over who are being raised by televisions and video games, and parents who want to be their buddies rather than their parents.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#15
i generally don't care. i don't talk to most of my family. and the few i do talk to, i don't talk to often. at this point i think my dad just wants me married haha he isn't too worried to who.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#16
What impact does your family have on the men/women you date or want to be with, if any? Why/why not?
I was either born in the wrong place or the wrong time because I am so out of step with the culture around me that I have never dated in the tradtional sense, not because I haven't wanted too or been willing too but simply because there is little to no common ground with the women I meet beyond trivial things about daily life that are common to everyone.

As a result my family have very little influencel, I could care less what anyone in my family might make of my partner, I think they'd struggle to get that person in the same way they struggle to get me, we are very different in most ways relating to what appeals to us in another persons personality.

If I am honest the only impact my family has is that in many ways I look for the opposite of them in a potential partner, if that's bad, then it's too bad.
 
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