I am so discouraged that discouraged seems a small word for how I'm feeling. My family is a mess. My brother ended a 29 year marriage, his ex-wife and children are angry at me for misconceptions on their part. My brother took up with a prostitute and started doing drugs with her. My dad took him in and he and my mother have been divorced for 25 + years and he is a nut case. There's so much damage all around me and my family is very religious. I've developed a picture of hipocrisy and am very confused as to the truth of it all. I don't feel loved and I don't see that Christian people love others at all. I'm just so down about it all. The conflicts are all tangled up with different ones throwing Bible verses at each other. It's maddening. Can any help?
My brother ended a 29 year marriage, his ex-wife and
children are angry at me for misconceptions on their part.
They are adults and are responsible for their own decisions.
No marriage breaks up over something someone said. It breaks
up because those in the marriage are looking for a way out
and use what another said to justify it. You may feel you are
responsible especially if they are saying you are. But you are
not!
I can't think of one thing anyone could say that would cause
me to turn on my wife. There are no misunderstandings that
cause a divorce. Usually the parties involved know the
reasons.
____
My brother took up with a prostitute and started
doing drugs with her.
This would never happen unless a desire was already there
before their marriage broke down. Another indicator that it
is not your fault.
____
There's so much damage all around me and my
family is very religious.
Please don't take this wrong. But religious people act like
you have stated above. Religious people point fingers at
each other and use God's Word as a weapon. Christians do
not do this. Christ scolded the religious leaders of His day for
doing all the right things but their hearts were far from Him.
____
I've developed a picture of hypocrisy and am very
confused as to the truth of it all. I don't feel loved
and I don't see that Christian people love others at
all. I'm just so down about it all. The conflicts are
all tangled up with different ones throwing Bible
verses at each other.
I can understand how you can feel the way you do. But don't
allow the way your family acts to change your impression of
Christians. Your family is not being very Christ-like.
They are fighting with each other and not talking to each
other in love to work it out.
No Christian would ever leave their family and go to be
with a prostitute. God would never approve of this.
Your family may claim to be religious but appear to be as
worldly as the religious leaders that put Jesus on the cross.
Religious leaders Christ came to save but couldn't because
they were following their own way and not Christ's Way.
Your view of things can certainly get clouded when surrounded
by all the things you are surrounded by. But keep in mind,
none of these things would be happening if your family were
in fact Christians seeking and following Christ's directions.
A self-professed, self-centered Christian can hide their true
colors as long as things are going their way. It is when
things go bad, that you see who they really are. Since your
family is not seeking Christ to resolve their differences,
their actions say that they are too self focused to seek or
even consider what God has to say.
As far as your perceptions about Christians not only caring
but caring about you personally, many do care about you and
how this turns out. We all want the peace of Christ in
your life. But as many of us know, there always seems to
be someone that doesn't want us to have that peace.
Family matters can be difficult. But any adult must take
responsibility for their actions. There is nothing you
could have said that would have broken up their marriage
if it had not already been on shaky ground.
If he went after a prostitute, this could indicate that
there was a pornography problem in their relationship.
If so, any thing you said was just used as a crutch to
make them feel justified in doing what they wanted to do
but didn't previously because they knew it was wrong.
Just pray about this matter and God will deal with it. It
doesn't mean they will be as a family again but they may
see the error of their ways and see that each played a
part in the things that took place that destroyed the
family and can then start to forgive and heal.
I'm not judging your family. But I am saying this is not
your fault and if they are Christians, they don't act like
they are or seem to have a need for Christ.
I wish you fast healing.
