S
Life has never been easy and it will never be. So as a woman who openly struggles with depression you can imagine how hard it could be to keep a positive spirit. This year has been full of loss, but in a weird way that sometimes makes for new beginnings in different ways. I find myself undergoing quite a few of these changes for the positive. I had already began getting back into my relationship with Jesus. Or at least really thinking about it when I lost one of my beloved best friends to Colon cancer. In a way that really made it take off. Since then i have been trying to rediscover myself in new and more positive lights. And I will say I have been mostly successful. Im not saying the year has been one big positivity fest.
I am starting to open up in new ways and am finally loving myself which is extremely important. I am still learning not to pay too much attention to what others say and think about me. In the end my own opinion, my loved ones and more importantly Gods opinions of me is all that matters.
Then as ridiculous as it may sound the news on Robin Williams on the 11th shook me. I admit I've been more upset than even I thought I would be . And I cant fully explain it. Perhaps it is because his acting, influence and happy demeanor were such a constant since my childhood. Ive always been so attracted to that in him (not romantically). I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Even this. I think In some odd twisted sad way it has made me realize that people (myself included) tend to take the wonderful things in their lives for granted. I think its made me more contentious about really listening to people. Not just what they are saying because people dont always say what they feel. I mean reading them as well. Their actions. What their not saying with words. Part of me feels ashamed that I havent been pay in more attention to people in this way knowing these struggles I myself go through. I know suicide is wrong. And while I have entertained the thought more than I would like to admit I feel just very sad about that whole situation. I absolutely refuse to slander his name and character when he is no longer here to defend himself. That my friends is shameful and cowardly.
I digress. The situation has made me realize I need to do better by the people who have always supported me and my dreams. Even encouraged me to pursue something I never would have thought I could do. I am so incredibly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. More importantly I am blessed to have a loving lord who has blessed me with everything I have. It can be hard to focus on everything amazing you have especially when so much is going wrong in life. My challenge to myself despite the emotional rut I am in is to focus on what I do have instead of what I could have or dont have. Its not easy but it makes coping with life much more easier.
My challenge to you all is to try and do the same. Even if your having a crappy day try and find that one ray of sunshine.
Xoxo my brothers and sisters
Sarah,
I am starting to open up in new ways and am finally loving myself which is extremely important. I am still learning not to pay too much attention to what others say and think about me. In the end my own opinion, my loved ones and more importantly Gods opinions of me is all that matters.
Then as ridiculous as it may sound the news on Robin Williams on the 11th shook me. I admit I've been more upset than even I thought I would be . And I cant fully explain it. Perhaps it is because his acting, influence and happy demeanor were such a constant since my childhood. Ive always been so attracted to that in him (not romantically). I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Even this. I think In some odd twisted sad way it has made me realize that people (myself included) tend to take the wonderful things in their lives for granted. I think its made me more contentious about really listening to people. Not just what they are saying because people dont always say what they feel. I mean reading them as well. Their actions. What their not saying with words. Part of me feels ashamed that I havent been pay in more attention to people in this way knowing these struggles I myself go through. I know suicide is wrong. And while I have entertained the thought more than I would like to admit I feel just very sad about that whole situation. I absolutely refuse to slander his name and character when he is no longer here to defend himself. That my friends is shameful and cowardly.
I digress. The situation has made me realize I need to do better by the people who have always supported me and my dreams. Even encouraged me to pursue something I never would have thought I could do. I am so incredibly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life. More importantly I am blessed to have a loving lord who has blessed me with everything I have. It can be hard to focus on everything amazing you have especially when so much is going wrong in life. My challenge to myself despite the emotional rut I am in is to focus on what I do have instead of what I could have or dont have. Its not easy but it makes coping with life much more easier.
My challenge to you all is to try and do the same. Even if your having a crappy day try and find that one ray of sunshine.
Xoxo my brothers and sisters
Sarah,
