For women

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The_boy

Guest
#1
#1
Ok, I'm 23, 6'4 tall, 255 lbs, Dark brown hair and eyes, and tanned cuz I ride my bicycle everywhere. I'm sweet, gentle, polite, and courteous. If I see a woman coming as I'm opening a door, I stand and hold it open for her. I can actually maintain contact when having a conversation (I have ADHD so I occasionally look around the room). Now this has all been said to ask this: Why is it that I get rejected virtually every time I ask a woman out?
 
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plum

Guest
#2
#2
maby gods not ready for u to have someone right now.maby he doesent want to share u with anyone yet .maby your not ready
 
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The_boy

Guest
#3
#3
It feels like it's a flaw in ME though. I always get this look like I've got three heads and they aren't sure which one to reply to. Which after years now has made it difficult to even ask.
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#4
#4
I really don't know. Would it be helpful to talk with friends who know you better about it?
 
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The_boy

Guest
#5
#5
Been there, done that, and they aren't sure either: Most of them are girls! I'm guessing I'm simply the "friend" material. My only theory is that I'm "too good". Meaning that for the simple reason that I am who I am, I'm not interesting to women because it wouldn't be a matter of whether I have done something but that if the relationship fell apart it would more likely be their fault. I'm not the type to cheat, or lie. I'm observant. I'll notice when you've gotten your hair cut (may not notice WHAT was done but I'll usually notice something was done). And so on.
 
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Peter321

Guest
#6
#6
We can't understand Gods ways! He might have bigger plans for you, that could not have happened if you would have a date or whatever.
We really can't know all we can really do is have faith in God and trust him in everything you do :)
That's my point of view atleast :p
Keep trusting in God, mister!
 
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allforfun

Guest
#7
#7
The_boy said:
Been there, done that, and they aren't sure either: Most of them are girls! I'm guessing I'm simply the "friend" material. My only theory is that I'm "too good". Meaning that for the simple reason that I am who I am, I'm not interesting to women because it wouldn't be a matter of whether I have done something but that if the relationship fell apart it would more likely be their fault. I'm not the type to cheat, or lie. I'm observant. I'll notice when you've gotten your hair cut (may not notice WHAT was done but I'll usually notice something was done). And so on.
Click to expand...

Le sigh....you are young and I'm very old.

It isn't that women don't like the "good guys". We do. But get some self confidence. And stop self congratulating yourself on being so nice. Just because you open the door for us, doesn't mean you need to mention it 900 times. (general statement, not saying you do this) If you are confident, that is attractive, but if you think because you are the "nice guy" that you are entitled to us more so than the "bad boy", that is a huge turn off.

Know who you are inside. Do the things you do because you want to, not because you want us to take special notice and pat you on the head. :)
 
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The_boy

Guest
#8
#8
I do do the things I do because I want to. But as with anything it's nice to feel appreciated now and again. I've been the way I am since I was young. It's irritating to watch girls go out with "bad boys" who want nothing more than to get in their pants while someone who actually cares is quite available. As for confidence, I have none. I used to... but years of rejection kinda put holes in my sails.
 
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LadyBlue

Guest
#9
#9
allforfun said:
Le sigh....you are young and I'm very old.

It isn't that women don't like the "good guys". We do. But get some self confidence. And stop self congratulating yourself on being so nice. Just because you open the door for us, doesn't mean you need to mention it 900 times. (general statement, not saying you do this) If you are confident, that is attractive, but if you think because you are the "nice guy" that you are entitled to us more so than the "bad boy", that is a huge turn off.

Know who you are inside. Do the things you do because you want to, not because you want us to take special notice and pat you on the head. :)
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Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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AnandaHya

Guest
#10
#10
The_boy said:
I do do the things I do because I want to. But as with anything it's nice to feel appreciated now and again. I've been the way I am since I was young. It's irritating to watch girls go out with "bad boys" who want nothing more than to get in their pants while someone who actually cares is quite available. As for confidence, I have none. I used to... but years of rejection kinda put holes in my sails.
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focus on God and stop looking for women approval. Make sure you are doing what God wants you to do. Focus on building friendships and relationships with other people both male and female as brothers and sisters in Christ. wait until you know someone well enough to know if they are interested too. You kind of have to have mutual attraction for things to work out.

Don't be an over eager puppy dog that needs their ego petted and propped up a lot. its annoys me and most of my friends I've talked to about it.

build your confidence upon the solid rock of Christ and His word and promise and not how the world views you and your life. If you shine the light of God to the world those in the world will take notice. If you first offer unconditional love to others they will give it back to you. at least most will respond favorably and with kindness.

being honest with yourself about yourself is important but the focus need to be on GOD and His will more and less on this world and what everyone else thinks. Life involves more then finding someone to procreate with. that's my opinion at least.
 
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GreenNnice

Guest
#11
#11
The_boy said:
I do do the things I do because I want to. But as with anything it's nice to feel appreciated now and again. I've been the way I am since I was young. It's irritating to watch girls go out with "bad boys" who want nothing more than to get in their pants while someone who actually cares is quite available. As for confidence, I have none. I used to... but years of rejection kinda put holes in my sails.
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---be yourself. The Lord leads. You don't want to be the guy who takes advantage of girls, you are wanting a pure relationship, in it for the right reasons. God will honor that, stay faithful to who you are and keep working on who you want to be, praying to Him.

Ok, that's some kind of talk aforementioned, now below mentioned are other things. In a singles group, you will not ujderstand it but some day in the future a girl will see you and while every OTHER girl thinks you are a freak dork there will be that ONE girl that will see something in you that is....different .

Also, when you are talking to them, SELL yourself (just like job interview but different). Not saying to brag, just ask them questions that ask for a reciprocal response, so, PICK the right question . So, when you ask them what they do for a living? They tell you then the natural progression is for you to tell her what you do.

Now, if you play x-box 24/7 except church and three meals a day and live under mom and dad's roof still with NO job then probably best to STEER clear of this pick of a question. Pick a strength question, God bless and God luck. :)
 
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hellobacky

Guest
#12
#12
build your confidence upon the solid rock of Christ and His word and promise and not how the world views you and your life. If you shine the light of God to the world those in the world will take notice. If you first offer unconditional love to others they will give it back to you. at least most will respond favorably and with kindness
 
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