I had the same problem, now I am old and it is solved. God did the solving for me, I think because I gave up trying to do it myself, but decided God put me here, I’ll accept just how my life is and how the people in my life are. I’ll just be sure to express God’s love and otherwise trust how everything happens.
I also found much was solved when I listened to scripture about who Christ is. I think the Christ I followed was a manmade one, not the real Christ. He said “I and the Father are one”. I wasn’t including the Father and the Holy Spirit, and that is not the real God who is the one true God. I found a wonderful knowledgeable man who had studied enough Hebrew and Old Testament culture to be able to what he calls round out the OT. I could finally understand how our world was created and run, the principles of our Triune God. The New Testament is wonderful, especially as it tells of the cross. Without the OT scripture it is too incomplete to be all truth.
Now the joy I feel, the love of our God, our Savior, fills my days. I wish I could send the joy! It makes the pitfalls of this life minor.