Funny Church Stories

[Jordache]

I go to a church with a multicultural, cross-generational, multi-economic level, and otherwise diverse church. I LOVE diversity. I couldn't live in a place where everyone was the same color, spoke the same language, made the same paycheck, and came from the same decade. I love that my worship team is a perfect representation of my church. We have white, black, Trinidadian, Latin, English, Portuguese, Spanish, east coasters, west coasters, millionaires, broke studio musicians, 16 to 75, southern rock, Latin jazz, hymns, reggae... And much more. But this beautiful culture makes for some hilarious mishaps during church.
I'm sure every church has their fair share of stories. Share them. I'll start.

Several years ago there was a woman sitting the front row as our pastor began speaking. The woman's very obnoxious phone began to ring. The whole church squirmed uncomfortably as she rustled through her very large bag to find her phone. The pastor went on and so did she. Eventually she found her phone and turned if off, right? No! She turned it on and began talking in full voice. The pastor stopped a moment and just looked at her. She was sitting next to me so I was just leaning over to tell her it wasn't appropriate when the assistant pastor rolled around her other side. The woman got up and walked to the door in the back talking full-voice the whole time. When she finally closed the door she kept talking right outside the door, then walked right back in the same door and all the way back up to the front. She for two more calls, but at least she told those ones she was in church and had to call them back.

 

[Precious_Sunflower]

Sound like a very nice church you are going to. That lady certainly wasn't afraid of how the crowd in the church would react towards her taking or making any phonecalls during church. Sweet story.


Weirdly enough, I don't remember any funny stories happening in the churches I have been to. For some reason I always think most people were aware of the don't do's and the do do's.

Except of one girl I know about that is easily absent minded, she could just do like the lady you shared about. Her phone would call, and she would take it and speak out in a loud voice during the preaching. Everyone would be like; "Shut the phone off!" Then she would be like; "Oh ok", and then either tell the other person on the phone that she needed to stop talking as she was in church now, or she would walk out the door entrance of the church.

 

[Songbird_7]

I have a cell phone story for you. One of our friends at church is a real joker. He is always pulling pranks (and he's gotta be in his late 30's). His dad is one of the elders. Well, he thought it would be funny to call his dad's cell phone during the service. So the elder's phone starts going off and he's scrambling around to answer it, getting all red in the face. When he saw that it was his son calling him (who was sitting right next to him), he got up and stormed off. He was so mad!! He's got a temper and he really had to restrain it that day. I don't know why he had his phone on in the first place, but still....

 

[Jordache]

A while ago there was a woman worship leader who was leading worship one Sunday morning. She got very frustrated because her band was not following her. They kept going to the wrong chord. So without thinking she screamed into the mic "F!!!"

Then with a group of friends we were having dinner. Several of us were teachers and the worship pastors wife is one so we were taking about wiley little kids and how to get them to settle down. Someone mention "shaking out their sillies". So he shared a story about how once he went into a kindergarten classroom. "I walked in and said 'ok everyone, its time to shake your willies!" He had no idea what he said which made it even funnier.

 

[tdrew777]

When wireless mikes first came out our Pastor forgot he had one clipped on and switched on. Between services his private conversations were being broadcast to everyone who was leaving the first service and those coming to the second. But things only got worse. He felt the need to go to the bathroom and...all the noises were broadcast.

 

[RickShafer]

This is easy.
I have had a lot of funny situations happen to me in my life, but one of the
funniest was at youth service.
It was a long time ago, my band was playing for a youth service.
The drummer got a synthesizer and suddenly thought he was making music through it.
Not being one to damper another's creative flame, I let him play it sometimes at practice.
So, suddenly he brings it to this service.
Anyway, long story short; I'm singing and playing an old standby like "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms" -
(which we never practiced); and he's over there doinking one note at a time-(all of which were wrong), with every effect turned on and up in full.
It sounded horrendous!
So......midway through a verse I finally can't take it anymore, and I turn around and yell at him - "SHUT UP"!!! -
Of course the music just stops. (And I'm left to pick up the scraps of worship by reassuring words.....explaining my objections and the drummer's good heart after God in worship)
Needless to say it quenched even more of the Spirit than his abysmally bad playing.
- - One of those situations that was horrid to experience but funny to reflect on.

 

[Tintin]

I can't think any funny church stories but it's pretty hilarious whenever our pastor decides to sing an old time country worship song/hymn. He's a decent singer but it's very different to the usual thing we hear out our modern night services. The words are generally good but I don't know anyone (expect the pastor and maybe a few others) who enjoy old country music.

 

[kenisyes]

Okay, so my wife had a 27 member music group that travelled and led/demonstrated praise and worship back when it was something new (you young folks realize there was such a time, right?). Well, you can't start until everyone is where they need to be, and that's different in every church, because of acoustics. One woman was talking to another group member, not moving to where Anna wanted her to go. After a couple attempts to get her attention, Anna just walked over, picked her up moved her.

I didn't realize this was going to become about music, or I would have posted before.

 

[SeatBelt]

Can't make this kind of thing up, but one Sunday night the sermon was titled, "The Occult" and the preacher & the worship leader had not talked in advance... the invitation song was, "There's Power in the Blood."

 

[kenisyes]

One day, I was playing for a service in a small chapel. It was a springtime transitional weather day. With the door open, it was too cold, with it closed, it was too hot. The minister propped the door open by using a magazine style hymnbook. As the wind was blowing against the door, the door held tight against the book, so the book held the door open a few inches, solving the temperature problem. The door held the book in place, the book held the door in place, and so it went for half the service.

The text of the day included "we have not so much as heard that there is a Holy Spirit". Right on cue, the wind shifted, the door blew open all the way, the hymnbook fell to the ground, the wind shifted again all in a second, and the door slammed shut with a loud dramatic bang. Everyone knew God was paying attention to us that day.