I recently had to end a 2 year long friendship that was moving towards a promising relationship because she believes in tongue speaking and in modern prophets while I believe in neither. She claimed our relationship would have never worked no matter what and stated that I'm just living a religious life with no true relationship with God. I am sure that is not true, but to her tongues and prophecy are SO important as to label me basically as a non christian. What do you guys think?
Girls and tongues
- Thread starter Johnoble
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C
ahi amigo, i went tru the exact same thing, i was dating a pentacostal girl and it was something serious,
well, the bible tells us not to be with unequal yokes, at first i thougth it meant i wasnt supposed to date girls from other religions,
but as i grew older God has showed me more that that, if that relationship would have continued, it would have been lots of problems,
what church to get married?
what do we teach our kids?
what church do we tithe?
i mean am just touching some points, think about more.
also, a christian is someone that Has accepted jesus Christ as LORD AND SAVIOUR, and follows him, not someone who speaks in toungues,
we are saved by grace not works, if she thinks shes saved by what she does (speaking tongues) then she might not have her trust in Jesus and shes the one that needs him.
i would jut recommend to get even closer to God, and dont get desperate, he has someone for u, someone with ur same beliefs and doctrine.
thats what am waiting for also
well, the bible tells us not to be with unequal yokes, at first i thougth it meant i wasnt supposed to date girls from other religions,
but as i grew older God has showed me more that that, if that relationship would have continued, it would have been lots of problems,
what church to get married?
what do we teach our kids?
what church do we tithe?
i mean am just touching some points, think about more.
also, a christian is someone that Has accepted jesus Christ as LORD AND SAVIOUR, and follows him, not someone who speaks in toungues,
we are saved by grace not works, if she thinks shes saved by what she does (speaking tongues) then she might not have her trust in Jesus and shes the one that needs him.
i would jut recommend to get even closer to God, and dont get desperate, he has someone for u, someone with ur same beliefs and doctrine.
thats what am waiting for also
K
I think that her assessment of your salvation was said more out of hurt feelings then fact. It sounds like there is a lot of unspoken things in this post. 2 years is too long to just end over something like prophets and speaking in tongues, I'm getting the feeling this was a heated discussion that was the straw that broke the camels back.
Regardless of your position on the debate, it is not these issues that separates Christians from heathens but the gospel. Not everyone is going to have everything 100% correct. So my advice to you is to try to repair this friendship or confront her and part in good terms, not damaging accusations.
Regardless of your position on the debate, it is not these issues that separates Christians from heathens but the gospel. Not everyone is going to have everything 100% correct. So my advice to you is to try to repair this friendship or confront her and part in good terms, not damaging accusations.
There are some Pentecostal groups for which speaking in tongues is a required sign of the presence of the Holy Spirit, and thus, by extrapolation, a sign of salvation. If she belongs to one of these groups, then likely she is simply repeating the standard lines of her particular Pentecostal group.
If this happens to be the case, the she may be right that it would never have worked, but perhaps not for the reasons you think. The tongues issue aside, being in a relationship with someone who doubts your salvation on theological grounds- and who is proud enough to give voice to this judgmental sentiment- is a difficult place to be in no matter what. If you believe you are safe, and she does not, it is a major issue.
While the breakup is definitely painful now, I don't doubt that sometime down the road you will believe that she has done you a favor. Just hang in there and wait for someone who is your spiritual equal and who views you the same way.
If this happens to be the case, the she may be right that it would never have worked, but perhaps not for the reasons you think. The tongues issue aside, being in a relationship with someone who doubts your salvation on theological grounds- and who is proud enough to give voice to this judgmental sentiment- is a difficult place to be in no matter what. If you believe you are safe, and she does not, it is a major issue.
While the breakup is definitely painful now, I don't doubt that sometime down the road you will believe that she has done you a favor. Just hang in there and wait for someone who is your spiritual equal and who views you the same way.
You're right Kay, there's much that was left out. We were good friends for 2 years, then all the sudden we found out that there had always been something more than just friends in our hearts. We always knew of our differences, and as things got serious she started to ask God to show her a sign as to whether she should be with me or not. At the end, as the sign she requested was not meet, she determined that she couldn't be with someone SOOO different to her as I am. I'm sure she wasn't being truly honest since in 2 years we found out we had A LOT in common our our likes and faith. I'm sure her decision had to do more with her need to find a flaw in me that would separate her from me and excuse her actions than her actual opinion regarding my spiritual stance.
I pray God will find a way to reconcile us both to our old friendship, though I doubt it'll be the same,
I pray God will find a way to reconcile us both to our old friendship, though I doubt it'll be the same,
K
You're right Kay, there's much that was left out. We were good friends for 2 years, then all the sudden we found out that there had always been something more than just friends in our hearts. We always knew of our differences, and as things got serious she started to ask God to show her a sign as to whether she should be with me or not. At the end, as the sign she requested was not meet, she determined that she couldn't be with someone SOOO different to her as I am. I'm sure she wasn't being truly honest since in 2 years we found out we had A LOT in common our our likes and faith. I'm sure her decision had to do more with her need to find a flaw in me that would separate her from me and excuse her actions than her actual opinion regarding my spiritual stance.
I pray God will find a way to reconcile us both to our old friendship, though I doubt it'll be the same,
I pray God will find a way to reconcile us both to our old friendship, though I doubt it'll be the same,
K
Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean it's proper to demonize them. This girl obviously had some great qualities or he wouldn't like her. People are more than their theologies. As long as this girl believes in gospel of Jesus Christ there is no reason why a relationship shouldn't work with her.
Well, apparently there is a reason, because she ended it, based on her theological disposition, thinking people who don't believe in speaking in tongues are inadequate.
I think in addition to not being yoked with an unbeliever, its important to make sure if you get to the relationship stage with someone that their beliefs are the same as yours.
I've had that happen to me before. A girl saying she is a christian and then revealing later on she has some ridiculous views and beliefs. I've also realised how ridiculous it is to date a catholic - doesn't work unless youre catholic. I've tried dating a charismatic - doesn't work. People generally need to be like-minded.
I think in addition to not being yoked with an unbeliever, its important to make sure if you get to the relationship stage with someone that their beliefs are the same as yours.
I've had that happen to me before. A girl saying she is a christian and then revealing later on she has some ridiculous views and beliefs. I've also realised how ridiculous it is to date a catholic - doesn't work unless youre catholic. I've tried dating a charismatic - doesn't work. People generally need to be like-minded.
Well, apparently there is a reason, because she ended it, based on her theological disposition, thinking people who don't believe in speaking in tongues are inadequate.
I think in addition to not being yoked with an unbeliever, its important to make sure if you get to the relationship stage with someone that their beliefs are the same as yours.
I've had that happen to me before. A girl saying she is a christian and then revealing later on she has some ridiculous views and beliefs. I've also realised how ridiculous it is to date a catholic - doesn't work unless youre catholic. I've tried dating a charismatic - doesn't work. People generally need to be like-minded.[/quote]
I don't think Kate meant to say that our relationship will definitely work, she meant that "a" relationship with another man with similar views as hers could work. which makes sense in the context, as you would agree, that we should look for partners that have similar views as ours. And not just the essentials, cause in those we were definitely in the same page, but in the non essentials as well, like tongue speaking.
Still I don't doubt God's power to work in the lives of two people that have distinct views and uniting them as one, however we should be wise and discerning.
I think in addition to not being yoked with an unbeliever, its important to make sure if you get to the relationship stage with someone that their beliefs are the same as yours.
I've had that happen to me before. A girl saying she is a christian and then revealing later on she has some ridiculous views and beliefs. I've also realised how ridiculous it is to date a catholic - doesn't work unless youre catholic. I've tried dating a charismatic - doesn't work. People generally need to be like-minded.[/quote]
I don't think Kate meant to say that our relationship will definitely work, she meant that "a" relationship with another man with similar views as hers could work. which makes sense in the context, as you would agree, that we should look for partners that have similar views as ours. And not just the essentials, cause in those we were definitely in the same page, but in the non essentials as well, like tongue speaking.
Still I don't doubt God's power to work in the lives of two people that have distinct views and uniting them as one, however we should be wise and discerning.
