He/She is just not that into you

[Jullianna]

Why is it that when things don’t work out between a guy/lady, the next person that guy/lady talks to or becomes interested in is somehow responsible and becomes fair game for gossip, even if that person knows nothing about the prior “relationship”?

What’s wrong with just saying, okay…he/she is just not that into me, and moving on?
Isn’t it a blessing when someone who is clearly wrong for us goes away??

I don’t get all the drama. What’s up with that?

 

[zeroturbulence]

You mean why must the jilted person feel like its ok to gossip about their ex's new partner? I think its because it makes them feel a temporary pleasure as though they are getting some sort of revenge on their ex.

 

[Jullianna]

Ah...I get it. Rather than be happy that you didn't end up with the wrong person, some folks prefer to make an innocent person the scapegoat?

Kinda sad...huh? :/

 

[zeroturbulence]

Yes, gossiping is always sad. Even when its TMZ (the tv show).

 

[iraasuup]

That's the thing I'm struggling with at the moment in my present situation.

When I'm talking through my feelings with someone, or trying to work through 'what happened', I'm finding it hard to do so, without being all negative about him. I mean, I don't want to just go on and on about what I feel he did wrong, or how he hurt me or whatever (but I could seriously write a book), because that's depressing, and I don't want to be 'gossiping' about him.

I've thought about this a lot recently. Sometimes when you go through junk with someone else and they hurt you, it's easy to portray them as this evil bad person, and go on an on about all their 'bad qualities' or the mistakes they made... and in essence you're really just bagging out that person and making them look as bad as possible to other people- isn't that kinda the same as gossiping about them?

Its in the tough times it's hard to see the good in the other person, but I'm determined to do so, and so have made it my little personal challenge.

Something to think about.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Katie, you're just stating how it was. Gossiping is when you start talking about his new girlfriend behind her back, telling everyone how unattractive she is or how shady her past was or something like that.

 

[Jullianna]

Katie, a marriage not working out is an entirely different scenario than the gossipmongers I'm trying to understand. I've never known you to gossip about anyone or even say an unkind word. You are just trying to work through your pain as far as I can see. You are questioning things, not blaming innocent people.

*hugs*

 

[niceguyJ]

Why is it that when things don’t work out between a guy/lady, the next person that guy/lady talks to or becomes interested in is somehow responsible and becomes fair game for gossip, even if that person knows nothing about the prior “relationship”?

What’s wrong with just saying, okay…he/she is just not that into me, and moving on?
Isn’t it a blessing when someone who is clearly wrong for us goes away??

I don’t get all the drama. What’s up with that?

Ahhh jealousy.

I really dislike drama too.

 

[Jullianna]

Amen, life holds enough drama of its own without the unnecessary stuff. I just don't get it.

I'm glad that I'm not as hard a person as I once was (all glory be to God), but I'll admit there are times when I'd like a little of it back. Then again, praying for understanding is probably better than punching people in the face. Time to build a bridge and get over it.