Hellbound

[jeaniebeanie]

Dear brothers and sisters, I am still going through a horrific trial and there is no end in sight. I know that God hates me and created me for destruction. No, I am not schizophrenic,just depressed. I have no life I just exist. I cannot stand it any more. I have been to doctors, psychiatrists, counselors and have taken meds!! Nothing works. I pray and pray but nothing happens. I do not want to die. I want to feel like a normal functioning human being. I have repented of any sin and I just want God to heal me.All I feel is His wrath and hatred towards me. I have panic attacks every single day and I do not have a moments peace. I am tired of people telling me that this is mental when I know it is spiritual. I loved God. Right now I am angry because I feel that I do not deserve to feel tortured. Please ask God to change His mind about me. I know that there are many instances in the Bible where God has changed His mind. If He did create me for destruction ask Him to have mercy and make me a new creation.I do not want to end up in a mental hospital.I am asking for your prayers because I feel He does not listen to me.I am sorry to burden you but I have run out of resources. Please pray for me . jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano)(please excuse any spelling errors)

 

[pickles]

Jeaniebeaie, you continue to be in my prayers in Jesus Christ is Lord.
I do not see what you believe, but this does not mean I do not believe you and understand the battle you have.
Evil cannot stand praising Jesus, praising God Our Father.
This is a simple weapon against what you battle.
Praise God, praise Jesus!
I hope in Jesus that this will bring you some comfort whan needed.

Hugs and God bless.
pickles

 

[jeaniebeanie]

Dear Pickles, Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers. There are some days I am very frightened. Today(6-15-11) I am feeling a great deal of anger because it has been over ten years and nothing improves. I feel that God is torturing me . I have NO life!!! I am alive but just existing. I do not think this is fair.Well, thanks again, jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano)

 

[TDWP22]

Dear brothers and sisters, I am still going through a horrific trial and there is no end in sight. I know that God hates me and created me for destruction. No, I am not schizophrenic,just depressed. I have no life I just exist. I cannot stand it any more. I have been to doctors, psychiatrists, counselors and have taken meds!! Nothing works. I pray and pray but nothing happens. I do not want to die. I want to feel like a normal functioning human being. I have repented of any sin and I just want God to heal me.All I feel is His wrath and hatred towards me. I have panic attacks every single day and I do not have a moments peace. I am tired of people telling me that this is mental when I know it is spiritual. I loved God. Right now I am angry because I feel that I do not deserve to feel tortured. Please ask God to change His mind about me. I know that there are many instances in the Bible where God has changed His mind. If He did create me for destruction ask Him to have mercy and make me a new creation.I do not want to end up in a mental hospital.I am asking for your prayers because I feel He does not listen to me.I am sorry to burden you but I have run out of resources. Please pray for me . jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano)(please excuse any spelling errors)

u sound like me...and im serious...i feel the same bout myself at times

 

[TDWP22]

The poet dreams so he cannot let you go.
I feel it breathe deep and slow.
Feed and watch the black dog grow.
Feed him smoke and feed him wine.
Feed him lust and love and lies.
Taste the violence in his throat.
Stare right down the cursed hole.
Of the showdows he is heir.
In your heart he makes his lair.

Cerberus. I dub you pain.
Three-headed fiend.

A heart in chains. Shadowed sustained.

The poet feeds with the black dog at his throat.
So swallow hard, force it down.
From the beast reclaim your crown.
Brick him off and seal him up.
Tell yourself the coffin's shut.
Lightning flash and thunder roll.
Grumbling sky it clears it's throat.
Pray the storm will keep at bay.
That not dead but locked away.

 

[Lad]

Have you been to a doctor?

 

[TDWP22]

Have you been to a doctor?

did you read?? jeez

 

[Lad]

did you read?? jeez

FAR OUT BRO calm down. dont be so hateful.

 

[Lad]

Have you been to a doctor?

sorry hun, i mustve missed that part. Its terrible that youve tried all you can, but i would suggest you keep going to different doctors, trying different meds, reaching out to friends and family and continue praying to God, have hope. Ill keep praying for you too

 

[TDWP22]

FAR OUT BRO calm down. dont be so hateful.

dang, your so sensitive, hey you should ve read first and understood that she obviously saw a doctor since she was on medication....Saying "have you seen a doctor" remains me of a cartoon character that said the same thing but a duller way...

 

[wademach1977]

I will pray for you. I have been angry at God many times in my life. No matter what you feel or think, God still loves you. It rains on the righteous and the unrighteous. Life can be very difficult but realize Jesus died on the cross for you and He knows whatever you are going through. I will pray for you and I know Jesus will intercede on my behalf to help you during this time.

 

[pickles]

Dear Pickles, Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers. There are some days I am very frightened. Today(6-15-11) I am feeling a great deal of anger because it has been over ten years and nothing improves. I feel that God is torturing me . I have NO life!!! I am alive but just existing. I do not think this is fair.Well, thanks again, jeaniebeanie(Jeanette Bonano)

Hi Jeanie,
No one can fully understand the difficulties you face each day.
I know sometimes I feel defeated by the pain that fills my life.
But I do know that Jesus took and suffered the cross so that no matter what you face in your life, in Him you do have victory.
I know because for a long time pain consumed my life, I saw no future or relief.
Jesus brought in me His amazing love and streangth, so that these things no longer hold my life, Jesus does!
The mountain in your life can be condemnation, or victory in Jesus!
It is you who chooses, please do not think Im trying to judge you, because this is not what I hope to witness to you in Jesus.
By choosing to recieve the victory in Jesus who does know all of your pain and suffering up front and personal, Jesus will bring His power over any thing in your life.
One has to be willing to say I accept all in you dear Jesus, bring in me God Our Father's will in healing, or in the power over what is my life in Jesus.
It is in giving all to Jesus, knowing nothing is hidden, that all is compleatly forgiven in Jesus!
That you will know and recieve all that is His grace, mercy , comfort and streangth!
Jesus did not just say all that he said , this is all that is God Our Fathers promis in Jesus.
You choose.
I continue to pray for you in Jesus, as I know the great power, love and gift that is yours already in Jesus.
Also the gift that you will be to others in Jesus, when you recieve His amazing love and the joy that comes in Jesus.
It is not just words, it is His promise.

In Jesus, God bless.
pickles

 

[Adrianv125]

First of all I want you to explain to me what you mean when you are saying that you have no life, please be as specific and descriptive as possible.

Second, you are literally insulting God when you say that He hates you. How could He hate you when He sent His only Son to die for you? How could He hate you when He poured out His wrath upon His own body?

Third, until you understand this and really see from scripture just how much God loves you through every situation in your life many things are gonna come clear to you.

Fourth, if you have believed in Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior God will do with your life as He wishes for His own glory. Our promise and treasure is not on this earth, but in heaven with Him for all eternity.

Fifth, any questions you have you can message me.

God Bless you

 

[pickles]

Jeannie?
How are you doing?

Hugs and God bless.
pickles

 

[LENZS]

Greetings my dearly beloved one in Christ Jesus,
Please, Please, Please come down and just relax for there is nothing in this world which is bigger than you if only you know whom you are and what God has made you. The way you talks let me feels how desperate and helpless you find yourself and if there is any help more than what i am going to give you now, i would have done it for you.All what i have for you now is to give you keys and if you carefully read, understand and follow, you will be an over comer in the name of Jesus.
Now all what i want you to understand is this, God loves everybody including you and i and did not create anybody for destruction.Many people faces the same challenging as we are also facing now remember Job? if you don't know then go read the book of Job throughout and see. God himself said Job was a man of blameless and a perfect man and Satan also confirmed it and by seeing how great this man is he told God that are you not the one who covers him that is why he is like that? so God gave satan the chance and said go but do not touch his life. Look at what happens to job, He was really tormented but no matter what happened to him, he still hold onto his faith because he know the God that he is serving.
Another, when Jesus Christ came, Look at the atrocities he went through. You and i cannot face even a drop of it but yet he still hold onto his faith and went through because he must do it in other to save you and i.
Now,let me show you the secret power you have. In genesis after God finished his creation, he handed over everything onto us to have dominion over it. In fact he did not say some of the things but rather absolutely everything on this earth.
Again listen carefully here,in all the creation of God, he just spoke the word and what he want to do came to pass. Eg he said let there be light and there was light.you can see that everything he created was just a command of his word. In genesis chapter 2:7 LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life.and the man became a living being.Now, we all understand that God is a spirit and the same spirit is what he breath into us for us to become a living being. Now if the spirit which call things which are not there to be existence of today is what is in us, then we can also do the same thing if only we have the right standing.
Read Ezekiel 37 going and to proof what i am telling you. You will see how God want Ezekiel to know whom he has made him and the power Ezekiel had in other to change uncomfortable situations. God ask Ezekiel weather the dry bones in the valley can live. in fact bones and very dry too, look at this situation if it were you and i we will say is impossibly and the same apply to Ezekiel, he said Sovereign LORD, you alone know, But because God want him to know who actually he has made him, he said to Ezekiel, just speak to the bones and instantly, there was a turnover, the bones got fresh and breath gather together and walk.
My beloved in Christ Jesus, don't let anything despise you to heart yourself become the way you speaks tells that you can do anything, but if there is something you should do, after reading this little contribution of mine, just read over and over again, relax and go through all the keys i provided to you and begin to think of it well. Take your time and read all the verses very well and get the understanding. Now go to God and ask for forgiveness for talking rude to him. Make sure you have a right standing with him because the bible say God is spirit and those that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. You cant worship him with your fresh or canal mind. The bible also tell us that when we want to pray? we should go to our closet and shut the door, the closet here is our heart and the door is our mind so it means that, we must shut everything outside and concentrate on God alone and play in our heart buy doing so, then we can play in the spirit.
Give your all and all onto him and let him know that you are for him so he should use you for what he want.
keep this, let your worship and praises be the food you eat. always adore and just thank him even in your most terrible situation, worship him with all your heart and i tell you, you will be an over comer. Now, just speak to your situation and i tell you that what ever is wrong with you will run away from your body because you have now let it know that you know your source, who you are and what you can do.
Thank you for reading, may God bless you for doing this and i will always keep you in players